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  1. #1
    thundrhd is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy bad situation w/kids&wife

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
    My situation is this, current wife has issues with kids from previous marriage, we have been married for almost 7yrs. She says they are not welcome in our home anymore, so I said I will make other arragments to see them on my weekends, now shes says I'm not to see them at all and to cut them out of my life. She has indicated that my belongings would not be in the house if I go to see them. Does she have a legal right to do this? What are my options at this point? (the kids have done nothing wrong to her, she says she is tired of "dealing" with them & my visitation rights)
  2. #2
    mommyof4 is offline Senior Member
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    Why don't you tell her that if she doesn't want to be around your children she is more than welcome to pack HER things and get out?

    You have the legal right to have whomever you wish in your home.

    You need to make the decision who is the priortiy....her, the woman that apparently doesn't like your kids (therefore, doesn't like a part of YOU) or your children, said people that ARE a part of you.

    Time to man up.
  3. #3
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thundrhd View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
    My situation is this, current wife has issues with kids from previous marriage, we have been married for almost 7yrs. She says they are not welcome in our home anymore, so I said I will make other arragments to see them on my weekends, now shes says I'm not to see them at all and to cut them out of my life. She has indicated that my belongings would not be in the house if I go to see them. Does she have a legal right to do this? What are my options at this point? (the kids have done nothing wrong to her, she says she is tired of "dealing" with them & my visitation rights)
    DIVORCE HER. Quite frankly divorce her. She can say you can have nothing to do about it but she has no right to throw you out of the marital home. She needs a court order to do that. She also cannot quite frankly prohibit your child from coming to your home if you want the children there. However she doesn't have to be nice if the children are there.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  4. #4
    thundrhd is offline Junior Member
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    Now the second part of this equation, I absolutely cannot financially support myself because of what comes out of my paycheck, if I could I would leave her in a minute, what are the chances of getting a court ordered maintenance to keep me out of financial ruin?
  5. #5
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thundrhd View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
    My situation is this, current wife has issues with kids from previous marriage, we have been married for almost 7yrs. She says they are not welcome in our home anymore, so I said I will make other arragments to see them on my weekends, now shes says I'm not to see them at all and to cut them out of my life. She has indicated that my belongings would not be in the house if I go to see them. Does she have a legal right to do this? What are my options at this point? (the kids have done nothing wrong to her, she says she is tired of "dealing" with them & my visitation rights)
    Divorce her vile self, ASAP. Your children are non-negotiable. Selfish subsequent wives are negotiable, and this one is out of line.

    Written by a 2nd wife.
  6. #6
    thundrhd is offline Junior Member
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    Ohiogal, you say she would need a court order to throw me out of our house, what would be grounds for her getting such an order? I have never been abusve, towards her, cheated, I'm not on drugs, and not a criminal.
  7. #7
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thundrhd View Post
    Ohiogal, you say she would need a court order to throw me out of our house, what would be grounds for her getting such an order? I have never been abusve, towards her, cheated, I'm not on drugs, and not a criminal.
    Divorcing and only one of you can keep the house and she asks for possession during the divorce. So is what we are reading:

    Now the second part of this equation, I absolutely cannot financially support myself because of what comes out of my paycheck, if I could I would leave her in a minute, what are the chances of getting a court ordered maintenance to keep me out of financial ruin?
    You will stay because she gives you money? Dude how much did you just sell your children for?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  8. #8
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thundrhd View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
    My situation is this, current wife has issues with kids from previous marriage, we have been married for almost 7yrs. She says they are not welcome in our home anymore, so I said I will make other arragments to see them on my weekends, now shes says I'm not to see them at all and to cut them out of my life. She has indicated that my belongings would not be in the house if I go to see them. Does she have a legal right to do this? What are my options at this point? (the kids have done nothing wrong to her, she says she is tired of "dealing" with them & my visitation rights)
    I can't believe this question even HAS to be asked...

    If you have to choose between your new wife and your kids, you have to THINK about it?
  9. #9
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thundrhd View Post
    Now the second part of this equation, I absolutely cannot financially support myself because of what comes out of my paycheck, if I could I would leave her in a minute, what are the chances of getting a court ordered maintenance to keep me out of financial ruin?
    Get a second job. Even IF there was an order for spousal support, (1) you wouldn't get it for long and (2) the court will not take into account that you have other kids to support as your reason for not being able to support yourself. She isn't responsible for supporting you for life because you had a life prior to her.

    What is the disparity in income between the 2 of you (gross)?
  10. #10
    thedoctorisin is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thundrhd View Post
    now shes says I'm not to see them at all and to cut them out of my life. She has indicated that my belongings would not be in the house if I go to see them.
    My first wife did this with regard to me having any contact with my parents. That is why she is now my ex-wife.
  11. #11
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thundrhd View Post
    Now the second part of this equation, I absolutely cannot financially support myself because of what comes out of my paycheck, if I could I would leave her in a minute, what are the chances of getting a court ordered maintenance to keep me out of financial ruin?
    It is not unheard of, or illegal for an ex wife to be ordered to pay her ex husband SS. Alot of it will depend on your incomes and other facts. The best thing to do will be for you to get a consult with an attorney ASAP. Consults are usually fairly inexpensive. This should be done before you move, or make any other decisions.

    Your utmost priority should be your relationship with your children. since your wife is forcing you to choose, I hope for your childrens' sakes that you choose them.
  12. #12
    thundrhd is offline Junior Member
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    First of all,I logged into this forum for sound advise, not for any insults, my kids do come first,she doesnt give me any money and I wasnt looking to be supported for the rest of my life. Iam getting professional legal advise, and I'm trying to get my affairs in order. I just wanted to see if others have been in my position, and what they had done. It looks like a divorce or change of attitude is going to have to happen one way or another. I just didn't want to come home and find my belongings out in the street,and if that did happen what my rights would be.
  13. #13
    penelope10 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thundrhd View Post
    First of all,I logged into this forum for sound advise, not for any insults, my kids do come first,she doesnt give me any money and I wasnt looking to be supported for the rest of my life. Iam getting professional legal advise, and I'm trying to get my affairs in order. I just wanted to see if others have been in my position, and what they had done. It looks like a divorce or change of attitude is going to have to happen one way or another. I just didn't want to come home and find my belongings out in the street,and if that did happen what my rights would be.
    Let me give you a piece of advice. You current wife is probably not going to have a change in attitude towards your children. LOL---not without either a spiritual conversion of some type of serious counseling. (Leopards generally do not change their spots). I certainly wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with a controlling harpy.

    I would assume that this probably is not "new" behavior if you really think about it. Some hint of selfishness and negativity towards the children was probably supbtley displayed while the two of you were dating. It would take me about 2.5 seconds to drop kick this individual out of my life. I would suggest hiring an attorney to find out what your right are in regards to living arrangements. Many divorce attorneys offer free consultations or consultations at a reduced rate.
    Last edited by penelope10; 02-14-2009 at 04:43 PM.

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