 Brother-Mother Co-habitation Downward Spiral
What is the name of your state? New York
My brother is 46. He has never had a full-time job that paid enough for him to live on his own without my mother and father helping him financially. He has had emotional issues since he was 18 which when he was 32, resulted in his going to a special program in California for psychological help (my parents paid.) & years ago, my father died, my mother lied to me and my sister and wangled our multi-million dollar inheritance away from us. She has used this money to pay for my brother's drug-related legal and subsequent living expenses. In June of 2006, my mother could no longer afford to pay his expenses and she asked him to move back home.
On the drive back from California, he got into a car accident--he was fine, the car was not. My mother GAVE the car away...not even selling it for junk money. He sits around the house. As she has done for over 20 years, she lies to herself and others about him being normal and functional--he just gets bad breaks. My brother has no self-esteem; he may even be back on drugs. He will not take a job; my mother will not force him to take one or to move out. Inside, she knows he is not well, and will never be. She is 70 years old. He is killing her; she is letting him. Horrible situation. Both are spiraling downward and my sister and i don't know what we can do, or what our rights are. If we could force him to move, we would, But he is an adult and she is not complaining about his residence there...they are both codependent. We have spoken to our mother and she just defends him with what are obvious lies to everyone who knows them both. My sister and I feel like innocent bystanders watching a train wreck in the making. Any observations/ideas? | 
01-13-2008, 08:43 PM
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