Calling Stepdad Dad

[kmancj]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

My fiance and I have been together for 2 and a half years. We will be getting married in a few months. She has a 3 and a half year old son from a previous relationship (not married). The biological father is somewhat present. He picks and chooses the dates he wants to see his son. Recently, when the bio father picked his son up from our house he heard my fiance referring to me as "dad". He told her that it needs to stop and he will not allow it. Her son started referring to me as dad a couple months ago and when my fiance and I discussed it we agreed we would support him in calling me such. I do love him as my son and would love him the same no matter what he calls me.

My question is, legally is there anything that the bio can do to stop him from calling me dad? How should we approach this with bio father?

 

[mommyof4]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

My fiance and I have been together for 2 and a half years. We will be getting married in a few months. She has a 3 and a half year old son from a previous relationship (not married). The biological father is somewhat present. He picks and chooses the dates he wants to see his son. Recently, when the bio father picked his son up from our house he heard my fiance referring to me as "dad". He told her that it needs to stop and he will not allow it. Her son started referring to me as dad a couple months ago and when my fiance and I discussed it we agreed we would support him in calling me such. I do love him as my son and would love him the same no matter what he calls me.

My question is, legally is there anything that the bio can do to stop him from calling me dad? How should we approach this with bio father?

You betcha' DAD can do something to put a stop to this.

How you should approach this with Dad:

Gee, DAD'Snamehere....I'm sorry. I and Mom'snamehere were really out of line and disrespectful to you AND your son by encouraging/telling/hinting/insisting that he call me Dad. I know I am not his father and never will be. Please know that I am honored to know this young man and I am thankful that you helped create this amazing human being. I promise that I will NEVER attempt to usurp your position as this child's father again. Again, my apologies and I swear it will never happen again.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

My fiance and I have been together for 2 and a half years. We will be getting married in a few months. She has a 3 and a half year old son from a previous relationship (not married). The biological father is somewhat present. He picks and chooses the dates he wants to see his son. Recently, when the bio father picked his son up from our house he heard my fiance referring to me as "dad". He told her that it needs to stop and he will not allow it. Her son started referring to me as dad a couple months ago and when my fiance and I discussed it we agreed we would support him in calling me such. I do love him as my son and would love him the same no matter what he calls me.

My question is, legally is there anything that the bio can do to stop him from calling me dad? How should we approach this with bio father?

Mommyof4 was nice.

I am more of the idea that YOU are nothing but the person who screws mom and YOU have NO RIGHT to be called dad. YOU are NOT now and never will be the child's father. The man you refer to as the biological father is the ONLY dad this child has. Your fiancee can look at losing custody if dad really pushes it because letting YOU be called dad shows that mom is trying and attempting to alienate the child from his REAL AND ONLY FATHER and that you are participating in such. YOU are a glorified babysitter who sleeps with mom. That is IT.

You should grow up and educate your fiancee on the idea that YOU are NOT NOW and NEVER WILL BE her son's father. You can love him and care for him but you are NOTHING legally to him.

 

[kmancj]

Lets get real. I would never offer an apology. I am not at fault for him calling me dad nor will I feel bad about it. I am not sure if I could truly put myself in bio fathers shoes, so I don't know what he is feeling---other than obviously not happy. What I am concerned with is the child and his development.

And what could Dad do to stop this?

 

[mommyof4]

Mommyof4 was nice.

I am more of the idea that YOU are nothing but the person who screws mom and YOU have NO RIGHT to be called dad. YOU are NOT now and never will be the child's father. The man you refer to as the biological father is the ONLY dad this child has. Your fiancee can look at losing custody if dad really pushes it because letting YOU be called dad shows that mom is trying and attempting to alienate the child from his REAL AND ONLY FATHER and that you are participating in such. YOU are a glorified babysitter who sleeps with mom. That is IT.

You should grow up and educate your fiancee on the idea that YOU are NOT NOW and NEVER WILL BE her son's father. You can love him and care for him but you are NOTHING legally to him.

Yeah...what you said!

I was just trying to think of the best way he could 'approach' Daddy.

 

[Ohiogal]

Lets get real. I would never offer an apology. I am not at fault for him calling me dad nor will I feel bad about it. I am not sure if I could truly put myself in bio fathers shoes, so I don't know what he is feeling---other than obviously not happy. What I am concerned with is the child and his development.

And what could Dad do to stop this?

Dad could take mom to court and get a restraining order against you. He could sue for custody based on the alienation from him that is occuring. He could get orders requiring neither party to allow anyone else to be called mom or dad. He could do various things.

YOU are an idiot quite frankly. The man is NOT the bio father. He is the child's FATHER. You are basically not helping the child and the child's development. But you are managing to do wonders at showing how ignorant and self centered you and the woman you have sex with is.

Never fear. If she will do it to him, if she has your child, look for her next bed buddy to be called dad by that child.

 

[cyjeff]

Lets get real. I would never offer an apology. I am not at fault for him calling me dad nor will I feel bad about it. I am not sure if I could truly put myself in bio fathers shoes, so I don't know what he is feeling---other than obviously not happy. What I am concerned with is the child and his development.

And what could Dad do to stop this?

He could gain custody of his child away from the child's mother and the person that is trying to pretend he is the child's father.

That would be you.

You owe an apology... you are claiming a child that is not your own... and this can have real and grown up ramifications.

 

[Isis1]

Lets get real. I would never offer an apology. I am not at fault for him calling me dad nor will I feel bad about it. I am not sure if I could truly put myself in bio fathers shoes, so I don't know what he is feeling---other than obviously not happy. What I am concerned with is the child and his development.

And what could Dad do to stop this?

his development includes a relationship with his father.

you and mom not correcting the child, makes the both of you at fault.

dad could and SHOULD get a court order restraining you from being around the child if you chose to continue with your behavior.

 

[mommyof4]

Lets get real.

I'm as real as the come, Sweetkins.

I would never offer an apology.

Mistake number one and this mistake shows us exactly what kind of 'man' you truly are. Weak and pathetic.

I am not at fault for him calling me dad nor will I feel bad about it.

Yes...yes you are and you should, but we already discussed what your attitude portrays of your manliness.

I am not sure if I could truly put myself in bio fathers shoes,

Nope, you can't because you did not and could not contribute sperm to fertilized the mother's egg and you did not contribute 50% of the child's DNA.

so I don't know what he is feeling---other than obviously not happy.

Oh, I'm pretty sure that if you aren't bright enough to figure it out right now, Dad will make dang sure you are aware of EXACTLY what he is feeling pretty soon. Be sure and alert us when that revelation comes to pass

What I am concerned with is the child and his development.

No you're nooo-ooot. You are concerned that Dad won't clear the field and let you have his son for your very own. You are concerned that as long as Dad is around, you are going to have to face the unmistakable proof that your girlfriend boikned him and concieved and bore his child.

And what could Dad do to stop this?

[/QUOTE]Take Mom to court and ask (if he's really, really nice and thinks that you are an ass who is controlling the situation) that an order be entered that you not be allowed to interfere, usurp, influence, or otherwise be involved with the child. If he's really, really pissed and willing to fight for his RIGHT...he will ask for a change of custody based on the fact that Mom is attempting to cut him out of his child's life and one of his pieces of evidence is the fact that you and Mom instruct his son to call you Dad. BIG no-no.

Get a freakin' clue.

 

[Just Blue]

Lets get real. I would never offer an apology. I am not at fault for him calling me dad nor will I feel bad about it. I am not sure if I could truly put myself in bio fathers shoes, so I don't know what he is feeling---other than obviously not happy. What I am concerned with is the child and his development.

And what could Dad do to stop this?

What could Dad do? File for a change of custody based on Mom allowing her Boyfriend to overstep his place and purport himself as the child's father. BIG NONO in court. BIG. It is Mom's job and LEGAL OBLIGATION to foster and facilitate the relationship between child and Dad. When she allows her BF to interfere with that relationship she is SERIOUSLY risking becoming the NCP with a restraining order placed against YOU.

THAT IS REAL!

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

My fiance and I have been together for 2 and a half years. We will be getting married in a few months. She has a 3 and a half year old son from a previous relationship (not married). The biological father is somewhat present. He picks and chooses the dates he wants to see his son. Recently, when the bio father picked his son up from our house he heard my fiance referring to me as "dad". He told her that it needs to stop and he will not allow it. Her son started referring to me as dad a couple months ago and when my fiance and I discussed it we agreed we would support him in calling me such. I do love him as my son and would love him the same no matter what he calls me.

My question is, legally is there anything that the bio can do to stop him from calling me dad? How should we approach this with bio father?

It's not "bio father". It's just father, or dad. Unlike you - you are the guy keeping mom warm. GKMW - pronounced "Gikmaw"

 

[kmancj]

Thanks for your input. I wish you all the best.

 

[cyjeff]

Thanks for your input. I wish you all the best.

One last part....

To give you an idea of what your status with the child is, you should understand that you won't even be allowed in court when the child's development is discussed.

That's right... the court won't care what YOU consider yourself... well, other than where it crossed the father's authority and rights.

You and what you consider your right may have just cost your girlfriend primary custody... and you still don't see a problem.

 

[Zigner]

One other thing I just noticed...

The title of this thread is: Calling Stepdad Dad

Yet, you're not even the STEP-dad. Incredible...

 

[lily2467]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

My fiance and I have been together for 2 and a half years. We will be getting married in a few months. She has a 3 and a half year old son from a previous relationship (not married). The biological father is somewhat present. He picks and chooses the dates he wants to see his son. Recently, when the bio father picked his son up from our house he heard my fiance referring to me as "dad". He told her that it needs to stop and he will not allow it. Her son started referring to me as dad a couple months ago and when my fiance and I discussed it we agreed we would support him in calling me such. I do love him as my son and would love him the same no matter what he calls me.

My question is, legally is there anything that the bio can do to stop him from calling me dad? How should we approach this with bio father?

you say to the child, "no honey, your daddy is your daddy. i am your whateveryournameis". not that hard to do. i'm a step-parent and this even annoyed me.