Can I get away freely?

[Freetobeme]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? new york.

i have recently won a very large settlement in a court case. i will be getting the money very soon. i have been living with this guy for about 8 years and don't really want him in my life anymore. it is not because of the money,well maybe some of it is, But it is that I feel my life moving in a different direction and want to be free. someone told me that we are married because of the laws in the state and i will have to split my money with him. we are sort of engaged, well we have been engaged for about 5 years now but now I want to be on my own and don't want to get married. we don't have kids together but he has one from his other wife.do i have to split my money with him? he doesnt work a whole lot and cant even keep a good job. I am afraid he thinks he is going to be living on easy street and just be supported by my money. he keeps talking about everything he is going to get. like a sports car and wants to travel and gamble and thinks we should build a home on a beach and live by the ocean. he doesnt want to be with me either, he just is hanging on for the cash. the money i won had nothing to do with him and he wasnt even around when it happened. please tell me if i have to give him my money or if i can just leave as soon as i get it. i want to get away but if he is going to get some of my money i might as well stay and spend it. i am not mean i just dont like him very much anymore and he is a lot older than me. is there someone here to help me. would i need to sue him? i don't know too much about the law and found this site when i was looking to find out what to do. is there anything i can do? i am in new york but will move to another state if i need to.

[Freetobeme]

i am really worried about this situation and dont want to say anything to my laywer because he knows my guy friend.
Aint their anyone here that can tell me now/

[BelizeBreeze]

You are not 'married' in the eyes of New York or anywhere else. One of the elements necessary to prove a common law marriage is that the two of you hold yourself out to be married.

Because you are 'engaged' you are portraying yourselves as intending to be married.

Besides that little fact, Common-law marriage has been abolished in New York since April 29, 1933. However, New York recognizes the validity of a marriage if the couple has consummated a common-law marriage at a jurisdiction where a common-law marriage is valid before they move to New York.

so, take the money and run.

[Freetobeme]

thank so much for answering my question, now i have another.
we have no lease and are occupying a apartment together. i pay the rent with my checks so what i need to know is if i can legally have him removed from the household taking only what he came with?
if so, how do i do this. he has no car, no relatives but at this mement does have a job.
can i lock the doors after changing the locks and hide my car because he has keys to it?
i have two more weeks til the moeny is supossed to come and have to hurry up and do this. i will not support him while he does nothing.
so what do i do that is legal?

[msiron]

Obviously not legal advice but Jesus lady, cut the man some slack. You've spent a number of years with him, LEAVE for good when he is not around and at least pay 6 months rent upfront for him and leave some money on the table. That should be enough time for him to get on his own two feet and move on.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by msiron

Obviously not legal advice but Jesus lady, cut the man some slack. You've spent a number of years with him, LEAVE for good when he is not around and at least pay 6 months rent upfront for him and leave some money on the table. That should be enough time for him to get on his own two feet and move on.

Good suggestion.

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Originally Posted by msiron

Obviously not legal advice but Jesus lady, cut the man some slack. You've spent a number of years with him, LEAVE for good when he is not around and at least pay 6 months rent upfront for him and leave some money on the table. That should be enough time for him to get on his own two feet and move on.

My response:

Sounds like a twist on my patented and copyrighted "Brazil Method".

I like your style!


IAAL

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by msiron

Obviously not legal advice but Jesus lady, cut the man some slack. You've spent a number of years with him, LEAVE for good when he is not around and at least pay 6 months rent upfront for him and leave some money on the table. That should be enough time for him to get on his own two feet and move on.

I agree that this is an excellent suggestion.

[ablessin]

That sounds like what I would too - -sounds like OP will be able to afford - Maybe she can pay 3 months rent upfront and move on.

I'd move out and leave the place to him, although she needs to take her name off the apartment, so that if he defaults on paying the rent, no one can come after her for the $. That would suck big time.

Yeah, he sounds like a leach..... hanging on for the money. With the new cars, house on the beach., how long does he expect the $ to last???? Get out while the gettin's good**************. Wait till the day the check comes in and take OFF - - change your bank account, too - so that he can't make any withdrawls. Even if you don't think he has access to your current bank account, change it anyway...... you never know and there is a fine line between love and hate

[Freetobeme]

new york state-america

i am afraid to tell him. i am getting the check the 7th of june and know that he is going to explode.
everything here in the apartment in mine. he came in with his clothes some cds videos and personal things.
i dont want to leave my things as i have worked hard to get a lot of these things and they come with many memories.
he has a horrible temper and i know that when he finds out i am leaving him he is going to have like a temper tantrum and may even hit me.
he goes out everyday but comes in and out sometimes during the day. i also have the phone and gas and electirc and cable in my name and need to shut those off too. i just don't think i will have time to get everything out including my dog.
im afraid if i tell him now he will start stealing my things too.
is there a legal way to get out of this relationship. i am leaving him the engagement ring he bought for me because it is the right thing to do but most of the items in the house i want to keep and what i don't want is not worth a lot of money. oh and if i turn off the electric his fish in his tank will die.
i am scared of him but dont think i owe him a whole lot as i have mostly supported him all this time and haave huge debt to bank, credit cards and family. he has gone thrugh 7 jobs in 8 years and has been fired and not able to get checks because of the things he did when he got fired.
i know i sound mean but he has never been all that nice to me and i always tried to make him happy. he has never hit me but has come close but he verbally abuses me every single day.
i am scared, is there some place that can help me get out/ i will pay the rent for three months but the car is mine. he has a car at some garage waiting to be paid for the repairs/
anyway, could any one here advice me as to what i should do.

thanx
freetobeme

[Zephyr]

if you want a clean break without having to deal with him while you're moving stuff out then take only what you need, you can replace other things, or spend a couple hundred send him on a "guys golf day" with a buddy and haul a55 the whole time he is gone

[Freetobeme]

new york- america

thanks for your advise but i cannot pack and run in a hurry. i am disabled and was hurt. i should have told you that.
i called a moving company and they said they would call me if they had a cancelation but they need at least three weeks in order to move things. they siad if i was in a hurry they might be able togive me five men.
now, if i could get him to go away without the car for the weekend. i might be able to get that done.
anyplac e he goes he takes the car and does not have many hobbys like golfing. friends? ha.ha. he has none of them either and he does not get along with his family that is on the other side of the state so he can't go there.
thank you for trying to help me. i guess i am just going to have to tell him the day i am leaving and try to get some stuff out while he is working, as long as he keeps his job.

[Zephyr]

you keep coming up with ways it won't work, think about how it can.
have a large guy friend over, for witness and protection purposes, tell you bf you're leaving when he throws the fit and/or threatens you, you may have him removed by the police, if he does not throw a fit you guys can decide if you will keep the place and you offer to put him up in an efficiency for a month, or you put him in an efficiency for a month while you move out.

[timm90]

if i were you ,i would like everyone else said ,peace him off with a nice little package check ,after all you did spend 8 years with him, i,m not saying he is entitled to it but it would be a kind gesture just to get rid of him, and if you
want write the guy a note of saying how you feel about how unhappy you are and tell him you need to change your life , you are not happy,now and you will not be happy with him keeping him around ,think of yourself its your money,its your life and its your happiness, no one controls no one, in this life,
if you have a problem with his nasty attitude,call the cops, like everyone said pay his rent for a few months and tell him in the note ,go get a life, without you, i would never spend my money with someone i am not happy with,
it was your pain and suffering that got you that money ,enjoy it on you,
thats what its for YOU' be strong and get rid of the leech, a kind note would do it ,and call he cops if that dont work good luck and let me know how it turns out, timm90