• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Can I get a restraining order against my mother?

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Status
Not open for further replies.

jukra

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH

Can I get a restraining order against my mother?

I'm so confused as to what to do with my mother. I know that the question generally would confuse people. What? Get a restraining order against your mother?

The relationship with my mother is very complicated. I personally believe that's she mentally unstable. She's delusional and was inept as a mother. Two years ago I admitted to her that I was raped in a psychiatric hospital (that she placed me in after I attempted to run away from home) by one of the night orderlies. After this emotional exchange she simply told me, "That's not my problem. I did the best I could do as a single mother to raise you." I'm sure she didn't know how to respond, and she continuously insists that my upbringing was perfect and that she was an amazing mother. After that I decided that I needed what relationship I had with her altogether.

Thankfully I live in Ohio (I moved to live with my father when I was 16) and she lives in Texas. Right? No. My mother calls me constantly, multiple times a week or even in a day. I've changed my phone too many times to count. I've had her number blocked. I've even become estranged from most of my family because they always give her my new number. She always gets a hold of it. I had to make my Facebook completely private and go by a different name. I've blocked countless phony email addresses of hers. She always sends me gifts for my birthday and holidays. She sends me letters. She even tries to visit me. Last semester she flew up here and weaseled my class schedule out of whoever at my college through some lie (she's a pathological liar). She came to my class and demanded that I speak with her. I had to drag my mother out of school while yelling at her. Then I drove to a friend's beach house in North Carolina to hide out (and I missed an exam). I had no clue what to do. She's threatening to come visit me again for Christmas.

I need serious help and I have no clue what to do. She's my mother and in some crazy reason I still have this child-parent attachment to her so I don't want to see her hurt. However, I need to do something drastic to get her to leave me alone. I need to move on with my life, and I need her to not be a part of it until she gets help (which seems highly improbable). I want to get a restraining order to prevent all forms of contact from her. I want there to be some sort of legal ramifications for her harassing me. I've finally decided to completely sever this thought process of her being a mother to me.

Any help would be very much appreciated. This is beyond exhausting and it always brings me down. I can't move on in therapy with a lot of my issues with her constant negative influence. No matter what I try she forces her way into my life. I don't even know where to begin.

Best regards,
Justin
 


CdwJava

Senior Member
If a restraining order is available for phone harassment in Ohio, you can always make the request. But, don't expect that Ohio will send an officer to Texas to arrest her for violating it should that happen. Enforcing misdemeanors across state lines is a near impossibility for a number of reasons.

Sorry, but there's no magic bullet here.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH

Can I get a restraining order against my mother?

I'm so confused as to what to do with my mother. I know that the question generally would confuse people. What? Get a restraining order against your mother?

The relationship with my mother is very complicated. I personally believe that's she mentally unstable. She's delusional and was inept as a mother. Two years ago I admitted to her that I was raped in a psychiatric hospital (that she placed me in after I attempted to run away from home) by one of the night orderlies. After this emotional exchange she simply told me, "That's not my problem. I did the best I could do as a single mother to raise you." I'm sure she didn't know how to respond, and she continuously insists that my upbringing was perfect and that she was an amazing mother. After that I decided that I needed what relationship I had with her altogether.

Thankfully I live in Ohio (I moved to live with my father when I was 16) and she lives in Texas. Right? No. My mother calls me constantly, multiple times a week or even in a day. I've changed my phone too many times to count. I've had her number blocked. I've even become estranged from most of my family because they always give her my new number. She always gets a hold of it. I had to make my Facebook completely private and go by a different name. I've blocked countless phony email addresses of hers. She always sends me gifts for my birthday and holidays. She sends me letters. She even tries to visit me. Last semester she flew up here and weaseled my class schedule out of whoever at my college through some lie (she's a pathological liar). She came to my class and demanded that I speak with her. I had to drag my mother out of school while yelling at her. Then I drove to a friend's beach house in North Carolina to hide out (and I missed an exam). I had no clue what to do. She's threatening to come visit me again for Christmas.

I need serious help and I have no clue what to do. She's my mother and in some crazy reason I still have this child-parent attachment to her so I don't want to see her hurt. However, I need to do something drastic to get her to leave me alone. I need to move on with my life, and I need her to not be a part of it until she gets help (which seems highly improbable). I want to get a restraining order to prevent all forms of contact from her. I want there to be some sort of legal ramifications for her harassing me. I've finally decided to completely sever this thought process of her being a mother to me.

Any help would be very much appreciated. This is beyond exhausting and it always brings me down. I can't move on in therapy with a lot of my issues with her constant negative influence. No matter what I try she forces her way into my life. I don't even know where to begin.

Best regards,
Justin


There's nothing forcing you to remain in contact with her. Don't answer her calls. Seriously - be the adult.

Frankly if she's SO focused on you, a piece of paper isn't going to stop her.
 

jukra

Junior Member
There's nothing forcing you to remain in contact with her. Don't answer her calls. Seriously - be the adult.

Frankly if she's SO focused on you, a piece of paper isn't going to stop her.
It's really hard to ignore her when she's calling you all the time, texting you from multiple phone numbers (texting apps you can change your number at any time), etc. My phone blows up. I change my number, but that costs me 30 bucks each time. And that only stops her for a little while. The only way to prevent this is to completely cut off my entire family won't respect my choice anyway... and that seems really ****ty. Can't talk to my own brother or sister the cousins that I was best friends growing up with. It's not as easy as you say. I don't answer her calls or respond, but when its so hard to deal with my phone blowing up so much. Not only that, but she actually tries to visit me... What am I supposed to do, force my father to move? She does everything she can to "try to fix our relationship". This has been going on for two years. My own mother is obsessively stalking me. Is there honestly nothing that I can do legally? I'm just supposed to deal with this psychotic bitch? Grow up? Thanks for the sound advice.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
It's really hard to ignore her when she's calling you all the time, texting you from multiple phone numbers (texting apps you can change your number at any time), etc. My phone blows up. I change my number, but that costs me 30 bucks each time. And that only stops her for a little while. The only way to prevent this is to completely cut off my entire family won't respect my choice anyway... and that seems really ****ty. Can't talk to my own brother or sister the cousins that I was best friends growing up with. It's not as easy as you say. I don't answer her calls or respond, but when its so hard to deal with my phone blowing up so much. Not only that, but she actually tries to visit me... What am I supposed to do, force my father to move? She does everything she can to "try to fix our relationship". This has been going on for two years. My own mother is obsessively stalking me. Is there honestly nothing that I can do legally? I'm just supposed to deal with this psychotic bitch? Grow up? Thanks for the sound advice.

Sometimes we have to make difficult choices.
 

quincy

Senior Member
It's really hard to ignore her when she's calling you all the time, texting you from multiple phone numbers (texting apps you can change your number at any time), etc. My phone blows up. I change my number, but that costs me 30 bucks each time. And that only stops her for a little while. The only way to prevent this is to completely cut off my entire family won't respect my choice anyway... and that seems really ****ty. Can't talk to my own brother or sister the cousins that I was best friends growing up with. It's not as easy as you say. I don't answer her calls or respond, but when its so hard to deal with my phone blowing up so much. Not only that, but she actually tries to visit me... What am I supposed to do, force my father to move? She does everything she can to "try to fix our relationship". This has been going on for two years. My own mother is obsessively stalking me. Is there honestly nothing that I can do legally? I'm just supposed to deal with this psychotic bitch? Grow up? Thanks for the sound advice.
If all reasonable steps to prevent contact with your mom have been taken and these have failed, and you are mentally distressed and/or feel you are in danger of being physically harmed, or if you are being stalked and/or harassed by your mom, then you can consult with an attorney in your area of Ohio to go over the evidence you have of this unwanted contact and the harm you have suffered as a result. You can discuss with the attorney the possibility of you obtaining a civil protective order against your mom. Or you can, if you wish, head to court and file for a protective/stalking/harassment order on your own.

Whether a protective order will be granted or not is a question mark. These are not easy orders to obtain when there has been no physical violence or threat of violence and the target of the order is a resident of another state - especially one as far removed from Ohio as Texas.
 
Last edited:

Proserpina

Senior Member
I don't think you clearly understand the situation or the severity of it.

Having been stalked by an ex to the point I had to leave the State under an assumed name...well, let me put it this way.

You can only be a victim if you let this get to you. YOU are an adult. If years of therapy is what it will take to get you back on track, then that's what it will take. Empower yourself. Take control.

Believe me, having an overbearing parent is not uncommon (and in some circles considered "normal"). But you're the one who can take back your control.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
I don't think you clearly understand the situation or the severity of it.
I think we do ... but, when your stalker is living in another state it makes enforcement of a restraining order (assuming you can get one in Ohio against someone phoning you from Texas) nearly impossible. Even if they agree that she violates it, what then? I suppose they can try and seek an arrest warrant for her so that if she ever shows up in Ohio they might be able to arrest her, but that might be the best you can hope for.

So, next time she calls, call the police and report the harassment (if it's a crime). Take it from there.
 

jukra

Junior Member
I think we do ... but, when your stalker is living in another state it makes enforcement of a restraining order (assuming you can get one in Ohio against someone phoning you from Texas) nearly impossible. Even if they agree that she violates it, what then? I suppose they can try and seek an arrest warrant for her so that if she ever shows up in Ohio they might be able to arrest her, but that might be the best you can hope for.

So, next time she calls, call the police and report the harassment (if it's a crime). Take it from there.
Okay, thank you. Sorry, I'm just frustrated. So hypothetically speaking if I get to the point of an arrest warrant, that would be great. Is there any grounds that I can sue her on?

I try to ignore her as best possible. It's just really hard because she doesn't call just me, but also my father. She calls him and bugs him often as well. And his work place. Like it's embarrassing. I don't understand why she has to go through this much effort. She's just making me hate her more and more. I wish this were the early 1900's and I could just have her locked away in an asylum.
 

quincy

Senior Member
Okay, thank you. Sorry, I'm just frustrated. So hypothetically speaking if I get to the point of an arrest warrant, that would be great. Is there any grounds that I can sue her on?

I try to ignore her as best possible. It's just really hard because she doesn't call just me, but also my father. She calls him and bugs him often as well. And his work place. Like it's embarrassing. I don't understand why she has to go through this much effort. She's just making me hate her more and more. I wish this were the early 1900's and I could just have her locked away in an asylum.
Suing your mom (if you had a legitimate reason to, and it does not sound like you do) would bring her into your life for many many months.

Get a cell phone and give the number to no one except a select few trusted friends or family members. Ignore all other calls. You cannot do anything about your mom's calls to your dad or anyone else.
 

jukra

Junior Member
Having been stalked by an ex to the point I had to leave the State under an assumed name...well, let me put it this way.

You can only be a victim if you let this get to you. YOU are an adult. If years of therapy is what it will take to get you back on track, then that's what it will take. Empower yourself. Take control.

Believe me, having an overbearing parent is not uncommon (and in some circles considered "normal"). But you're the one who can take back your control.
I am in therapy. She's not just an overbearing parent. It's much more than that. She kidnapped my brother from his father when we were younger. She stole from everyone, including her own children and mother. She throughout most of my early life commit identity theft against my father until he protected himself. She's addicted to pills and always claims to have some disease. When I was really young she was arrested for nearly a year for theft of a car. She's owed money to the IRS for as long as I can remember. She sabotaged my sister's car when she was moving out to live with her grandmother (we all have different father's). She's completely delusional of a person. She had me committed to multiple hospitals when I was younger because I didn't follow her absurd rules and would often lash out towards her. She just like... won't let me be.

I've been trying to move on for the past 5 years since I moved in with my father. I tried holding a relationship with her for three years. I believed her too much that she was going to change, so I completely cut her off two years ago. I don't talk to her, but she weasels her way into my life. She's a lunatic.
 
Last edited:

quincy

Senior Member
I am in therapy. She's not just an overbearing parent. It's much more than that. She kidnapped my brother from his father when we were younger. She stole from everyone, including her own children and mother. She throughout most of my early life commit identity theft against my father until he protected himself. She's addicted to pills and always claims to have some disease. When I was really young she was arrested for nearly a year for theft of a car. She's owed money to the IRS for as long as I can remember. She sabotaged my sister's car when she was moving out to live with her grandmother (we all have different father's). She's completely delusional of a person. She had me committed to multiple hospitals when I was younger because I didn't follow her absurd rules and would often lash out towards her. She just like... won't let me be.
Concentrate on your therapy.
 

jukra

Junior Member
Suing your mom (if you had a legitimate reason to, and it does not sound like you do) would bring her into your life for many many months.

Get a cell phone and give the number to no one except a select few trusted friends or family members. Ignore all other calls. You cannot do anything about your mom's calls to your dad or anyone else.
I understand. It just really sucks that I've have to let go of my entire family because of my mother. Not only do I have to disown her, but my brother as well. Over the summer I visited him and she showed up. I had to go home early. My brother makes excuses for all of her behavior and my mother's family won't let me be. I have to guard my entire life and be cautious... because she's a lunatic.
 

quincy

Senior Member
I understand. It just really sucks that I've have to let go of my entire family because of my mother. Not only do I have to disown her, but my brother as well. Over the summer I visited him and she showed up. I had to go home early. My brother makes excuses for all of her behavior and my mother's family won't let me be. I have to guard my entire life and be cautious... because she's a lunatic.
I'm sorry your life has been difficult, jukra.

In time, you may learn to accept that your mom has problems in her life that she is apparently unable to handle effectively on her own, which seems to be creating problems for those around her. But there is not a legal solution for all of life's woes.

I think continued therapy may be your best hope.

Good luck.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top