Can I legally move out of family home WITH the kids? Illinios

[akalatheory]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Ok, so I'm a mother of two girls and married to my oldest daughter's father. She is 9 years old. I cheated on my husband a couple years ago, and now I have a baby that's almost one and a half. Paternity hasn't been confirmed, but no one is listed as the father on her birth certificate (but he is on my 9 year old's birth certificate, my husband is). Anyway, so that's where it all started. I left my husband, and about a month after the baby was born we decided to get back together. We found our own apartment for the four of us and we moved in April 1st of this year. Well, my husband refused to put me on the lease, initially stating that he wanted to be sure that he could kick me out. He then went back later and came up with more logical reasons why he didn't want me on the lease. This man is a master manipulator, extremely verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive as well as financially abusive. He has been badgering and bullying me into talking to him about my affair and every aspect regarding it and he's severely abusive when he does it and he will gladly do it in front of the kids. Well, because I won't talk about it due to just how abusive he is about it, and knowing every single little thing will be used against me later, he told me he wasn't going to pay any of the bills (knowing that NOW I'm between jobs), he then later told me that since I refused to talk to him I could leave with the baby that we don't think is his. And then he'll turn around and claim that he was just having a bad day, or blowing off steam and that I should know by now he doesn't really mean it and he's sorry and blah blah blah. Well just today, he yet again, told me I had until the end of this month to leave, but only with the baby.

So my question is, because I'm not on the lease do I have to leave with only the baby, or can I take my 9 year old with me too? I want to get her out of this mess. It's influencing her very heavily.

He has promised me that if I left with our 9-year-old that he would call DCFS, Lutheran Social Services, and take legal action against me and because his threats are legally-based, they weren't "threats" so there isn't anything I can do about it but leave her with him. According to him, I have no other option but to leave our oldest with my husband but I don't want to do that. Please, I need some advice and soon :/

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Ok, so I'm a mother of two girls and married to my oldest daughter's father. She is 9 years old. I cheated on my husband a couple years ago, and now I have a baby that's almost one and a half. Paternity hasn't been confirmed, but no one is listed as the father on her birth certificate (but he is on my 9 year old's birth certificate, my husband is). Anyway, so that's where it all started. I left my husband, and about a month after the baby was born we decided to get back together. We found our own apartment for the four of us and we moved in April 1st of this year. Well, my husband refused to put me on the lease, initially stating that he wanted to be sure that he could kick me out. He then went back later and came up with more logical reasons why he didn't want me on the lease. This man is a master manipulator, extremely verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive as well as financially abusive. He has been badgering and bullying me into talking to him about my affair and every aspect regarding it and he's severely abusive when he does it and he will gladly do it in front of the kids. Well, because I won't talk about it due to just how abusive he is about it, and knowing every single little thing will be used against me later, he told me he wasn't going to pay any of the bills (knowing that NOW I'm between jobs), he then later told me that since I refused to talk to him I could leave with the baby that we don't think is his. And then he'll turn around and claim that he was just having a bad day, or blowing off steam and that I should know by now he doesn't really mean it and he's sorry and blah blah blah. Well just today, he yet again, told me I had until the end of this month to leave, but only with the baby.

So my question is, because I'm not on the lease do I have to leave with only the baby, or can I take my 9 year old with me too? I want to get her out of this mess. It's influencing her very heavily.

He has promised me that if I left with our 9-year-old that he would call DCFS, Lutheran Social Services, and take legal action against me and because his threats are legally-based, they weren't "threats" so there isn't anything I can do about it but leave her with him. According to him, I have no other option but to leave our oldest with my husband but I don't want to do that. Please, I need some advice and soon :/

Do you understand that your husband is the legal father of both children?

With that pointed out...You have every right to leave the house and take both children. He has every right to head straight to court and petition for the child to be returned to him. Assuming there isn't something that you haven't told us, DCFS isn't going to get involved and Lutheran Social Services has no bearing on this, legally speaking.

 

[Proserpina]

Both of you are free to move out with the children.

Dad is also actually the legal father of the youngest, and his threats are empty.

At the moment, anyway.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Ok, so I'm a mother of two girls and married to my oldest daughter's father. She is 9 years old. I cheated on my husband a couple years ago, and now I have a baby that's almost one and a half. Paternity hasn't been confirmed, but no one is listed as the father on her birth certificate (but he is on my 9 year old's birth certificate, my husband is). Anyway, so that's where it all started. I left my husband, and about a month after the baby was born we decided to get back together. We found our own apartment for the four of us and we moved in April 1st of this year. Well, my husband refused to put me on the lease, initially stating that he wanted to be sure that he could kick me out. He then went back later and came up with more logical reasons why he didn't want me on the lease. This man is a master manipulator, extremely verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive as well as financially abusive. He has been badgering and bullying me into talking to him about my affair and every aspect regarding it and he's severely abusive when he does it and he will gladly do it in front of the kids. Well, because I won't talk about it due to just how abusive he is about it, and knowing every single little thing will be used against me later, he told me he wasn't going to pay any of the bills (knowing that NOW I'm between jobs), he then later told me that since I refused to talk to him I could leave with the baby that we don't think is his. And then he'll turn around and claim that he was just having a bad day, or blowing off steam and that I should know by now he doesn't really mean it and he's sorry and blah blah blah. Well just today, he yet again, told me I had until the end of this month to leave, but only with the baby.

So my question is, because I'm not on the lease do I have to leave with only the baby, or can I take my 9 year old with me too? I want to get her out of this mess. It's influencing her very heavily.

He has promised me that if I left with our 9-year-old that he would call DCFS, Lutheran Social Services, and take legal action against me and because his threats are legally-based, they weren't "threats" so there isn't anything I can do about it but leave her with him. According to him, I have no other option but to leave our oldest with my husband but I don't want to do that. Please, I need some advice and soon :/

Number One: He cannot kick you out of the marital home. It doesn't matter that he is the only one on the lease. He would have to file for divorce and ask the judge to award him sole possession of the marital residence. He would eventually win that one because he IS the only person on the lease...but that won't happen quickly.

Number Two: You can take both children with you. Sure he can make a false claim to DCFS, but that ultimately won't get him anywhere. He would again, have to file for divorce and temporary custody of your mutual child and actually win.

Stop putting up with his abuse and get out. Go to a shelter if you have to.

 

[Just Blue]

Bump////////////////////

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Ok, so I'm a mother of two girls and married to my oldest daughter's father. She is 9 years old. I cheated on my husband a couple years ago, and now I have a baby that's almost one and a half. Paternity hasn't been confirmed, but no one is listed as the father on her birth certificate (but he is on my 9 year old's birth certificate, my husband is). Anyway, so that's where it all started. I left my husband, and about a month after the baby was born we decided to get back together. We found our own apartment for the four of us and we moved in April 1st of this year. Well, my husband refused to put me on the lease, initially stating that he wanted to be sure that he could kick me out. He then went back later and came up with more logical reasons why he didn't want me on the lease. This man is a master manipulator, extremely verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive as well as financially abusive. He has been badgering and bullying me into talking to him about my affair and every aspect regarding it and he's severely abusive when he does it and he will gladly do it in front of the kids. Well, because I won't talk about it due to just how abusive he is about it, and knowing every single little thing will be used against me later, he told me he wasn't going to pay any of the bills (knowing that NOW I'm between jobs), he then later told me that since I refused to talk to him I could leave with the baby that we don't think is his. And then he'll turn around and claim that he was just having a bad day, or blowing off steam and that I should know by now he doesn't really mean it and he's sorry and blah blah blah. Well just today, he yet again, told me I had until the end of this month to leave, but only with the baby.

So my question is, because I'm not on the lease do I have to leave with only the baby, or can I take my 9 year old with me too? I want to get her out of this mess. It's influencing her very heavily.

He has promised me that if I left with our 9-year-old that he would call DCFS, Lutheran Social Services, and take legal action against me and because his threats are legally-based, they weren't "threats" so there isn't anything I can do about it but leave her with him. According to him, I have no other option but to leave our oldest with my husband but I don't want to do that. Please, I need some advice and soon :/

Ain't she perfection? Good grief.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Okay, so now I understand that her definition of "abuse" is "I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar, and my husband is hurt and angry about it."

It's asking a lot to betray someone and expect them to trust you.

 

[Ohiogal]

Okay, so now I understand that her definition of "abuse" is "I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar, and my husband is hurt and angry about it."

It's asking a lot to betray someone and expect them to trust you.

Yeah... Not once but she has admitted to doing it at least twice. Her 2/3 children ---- wonder if biologically they are her husband's children. And if she wants to leave the oldest because .... well you see, she can't stand dad and that child is dad's. This brings a LOT of background up. We supported her two years ago. NOW, this colors the whole thing from her current (recently closed thread). Dad is verbally abusive ??? He probably called her a cheater, adulterer, maybe even worse such as slut or whore... Why? Because she has carried on more than one adulterous affair... I can't blame the guy for being mad. Also won't say he should have necessarily done that but SHE needs to acknowledge that she is to blame for the mistrust and such.

 

[Proserpina]

Well, I'm thoroughly disgusted.

Not at you guys who have tried to answer this ... "woman".

 

[Just Blue]

Yeah... Not once but she has admitted to doing it at least twice. Her 2/3 children ---- wonder if biologically they are her husband's children. And if she wants to leave the oldest because .... well you see, she can't stand dad and that child is dad's. This brings a LOT of background up. We supported her two years ago. NOW, this colors the whole thing from her current (recently closed thread). Dad is verbally abusive ??? He probably called her a cheater, adulterer, maybe even worse such as slut or whore... Why? Because she has carried on more than one adulterous affair... I can't blame the guy for being mad. Also won't say he should have necessarily done that but SHE needs to acknowledge that she is to blame for the mistrust and such.

I think this is one of those sad cases where a nit met a wit and birthed the OP.