Can I Make Step Child Leave ?

A month ago my wife had a stroke. a Week later my own mother died of cancer . My wife was was taken to a rehabilitation unit where she had a 2nd stroke a week later. while her daughter, a 23 year old was visiting her fiance' for the weekend. I phoned her and asked her to come home, as I was not sure of her moms condition. She told me that she would return right away. When I reached the hospital where my wife was, I ended up getting sick myself, I was told that I should spend the night, for tests. Four and a half hours later, when I realised that the daugher wasn't coming, I signed out of the Hospital against medical advice. when I checked for messages on my cell , I had a message from the daughter saying she WAS NOT coming home as she and the fiance' had "a party " to attend . She came back the following day and I told her that I thought she and the boy friend were pretty damn insensitive, and that triggered an enougmous argument. This girl has not helped in any way with the extra work involved in keeping up the house, and if anything has made things more difficult ...and instead of visiting with her mom, she has chosen to go to the boyfriend's every other weekend. I can't keep up the pace of trying to take care of my wife myself, and I KNOW now that i will get no cooperation from the daughter. I told her that I no longer wanted her in my home . I have taken medical leave, so as to be availible for my wife when she is discharged and have changed the locks on all the doors. The daughter is planning her trip to visit her fiance' even as I write this, how much am I expected to take ? Am I within my rights to just lock her out ? Do I have recourse if she and / or her boyfriend attempt to break in ? I need to know ASAP , because she will be leaving tonight ( Saturday ) and Returning on Wednsday.

[usmcfamily]

Maybe I missed it in your post (it is late at my house and my eyes are tired) but how old is your step-daughter?

She is 23 yrs. old ! If she isn't adult enough to pull her weight in YOUR home, let her pay her own rent. She will become real responsible, real fast b/c she won't have a choice in the matter. She will learn that she would expect the same out of someone if they lived in her home. It is not like you are kicking a 16 yr. old child out. You don't want to stress her mother out though. So maybe you should think about what her mother would do in this situtation. Her health is the most important thing here. Good luck.

[usmcfamily]

Okay -- thanks to hisdaddy now I see the girl's age (thanks hisdaddy - gotta quit reading these when I am tired.....lol). The only thing that MAY be tricky for you is if she has any claims of "tenancy" in the house because then it would be a matter of legally evicting her instead of just telling her to go.
Also, as mentioned by hisdaddy, is the consideration of what her mother wants in this situation because as long as your wife is a legal resident of the house she can choose to allow her daughter to live there so if she isn't in favor of having the girl leave you are in for major family stress if you try to force the issue. You say she has a fiancee --when is the wedding??? I ask becaus if it is at all soon perhaps it is better just to live with it a while longer knowing that when she marries she will be out? But if the wedding is a ways off this may not be much comfort to you.
My first suggestion is that before you decide to do anything you talk with your wife about it - if she is able to-- is she recovered enough to help you figure this out? If you do decide to have her leave and she has no claim to tenancy then rather than having her locked out you should allow her to come home explain that she has 72 hours to be packed and out and after the 72 hours if she has not collected her things and left you can lock the doors -- the reason for giving her that notice and not just packing her stuff yourself is to avoid her coming back at you with claims of theft, etc when she discovers things "missing" from the boxes you packed and it gives her a little time to find a place to go.
Good luck and God Bless

[nailtech]

You didn't say what state you are in,************** I'm assuming your having thoughts about this because it was your wife and her daughters house before you were married??? is that your concern??? research and or advice can be better administered if a state was given************** and How long have you been married?? In my opinion not to long if you dont have the respect of the step daughter......(thats only my assumption)......

Originally posted by nailtech
How long have you been married?? In my opinion not to long if you dont have the respect of the step daughter......(thats only my assumption)......

Remember, this ingrate has been her mother's daughter for 23 years, and she doesn't appear to have much respect for her either.

She's apparently a spoiled, self-centered adult child and if it's his house, he should kick her to the curb.

[nailtech]

that is so true Grandma B...

I'd like to thank all of those who posted to my original question.
The daughter is 23 years of age and is employed. The house was purchased by her Mother and I, only two years ago, and we have been married for five years., and we live in Pennsylvania . The girls has been on a constant vacation since she arrived here from Canada , three years ago.
My wife's doctors have stated that she can NOT be left at home for long periods of time, and unless I can arrange for a nurse, or companion for her, she will have to be sent to a personal care facility. Therefore, I plan to inform the daughter (upon her return from this weeks trip) that unless she plans to asist with her mother's care, ie: laundry, driving to therapy, etc. .. she will have to pay room and board. I will also be presenting her with a notarised letter to this effect.
Any Yes , GrandmaB , you are correct in assuming that the daughter is a self centered, spoiled little snot.

[miaguy]

You may have to override your spouse and kick the spoiled bratt out of the house...I would, believe me when I say this.