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Can I move out at 18?

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JustinRobertson

Junior Member
So, I'm 17 and I want to move out of my parents house. I'll be turning 18 on March 13 and want to leave on the 27-ish of the same month. I told my parents I was moving out and my dad just yelled at me, telling me that he would report me as a run away because I'm still 18. And then followed up with telling that because I plan on moving in with another adult (my girlfriend's mother) he would call the cops on her to for Kidnapping me. Can he really do this? I just want to move out, and her mother is wanting me to move in with them. Is there anything I need to do before I try to move in?
I have asked two of my school councilors already, one officer, and another counselor I had over a year ago. I've been planning this for a year and I am absolutely sure this is what I want to do. I live in Texas now on a military base (Fort Hood), and will be moving to Oklahoma (don't know if that complicates the matter, but figured I shouldn't leave any loose ends.) If there is anything I need to clear up, please ask me.
 


isis297

Member
I'm curious. So you live in TX now. If you move in with your girlfriend and her mom, you will still be in TX? If not, you'll be moving to OK with your parents?

Why are you in a hurry to move in with your girlfriend? You're only 17. I think I can count on one hand how many people I know who are still with the same people they were with in high school and I'm in my forties. Are you prepared to support yourself completely? Pay your own health insurance, for your car (maintenance, gas, insurance), etc.? Once you move out, especially to live with your girlfriend and her mom, I'd be very surprised if your parents would continue to financially support you in any way. I'm guessing you have a job?

Personally I'm shocked at your girlfriend's mom. As of right now, you are still a minor. Why does SHE want you to move in with them? I'm guessing her daughter is still a minor which would make an adult wonder what is wrong with her that she would be not only supporting, but pushing for her minor or barely legal daughter to live like a married couple with a minor/barely legal boy. I was engaged to my husband and still not allowed to sleep in the same bed with him when we visited his parents and we were in our twenties...not barely adults.

If you were my son, I'd be flipping out on you too, but then I'd be trying to find out why you are in such a hurry to move out in the first place. :(
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
Once you turn 18, you can walk out the door with the clothes on your back and whatever your parents permit you to take with you, and you don't ever have to look back.

On the flip side, once you turn 18 your parents are no longer obligated to contribute one thin dime to your support. They can't stop you from walking out, but if you do so you'd better be prepared to pay all your own expenses because they can cut you off without a cent.
 

commentator

Senior Member
I strongly imagine the charms of your company will go down sharply when you are living with girlfriend's mom, she's doing your cooking and cleaning up and laundry for you in the love nest, and your parents may choose call to the attention of the authorities that your girlfriend's mom, if she is not of age, is encouraging a relationship that's considered less than good parenting. That could cause her mom some grief.

I am also sure you have arranged to pay for and take away your own paid for and properly titled vehicle, and have obtained car insurance on said car, which you, as an 18 year old boy, are paying out the wazoo for, since 18 year old males are not famously known for making good decisions. If your parents bought the vehicle, titled the vehicle, and are carrying insurance on the vehicle, there goes your ride. Without good transportation, the job prospects decline.

Have you finished your education? That you are talking to school counselors leads me to believe otherwise. I might venture a guess that you used to live in Oklahoma, that's where your girlfriend is, and that her mom has said something like, "Sure come on back and you can stay with us and finish high school."

But right now, you are in that super dangerous position that you are old enough to do it, yes, but you are not experienced enough at relationships or at being self supporting to realize exactly what all this would entail if your parents are not in agreement with the program and kick you out without a cent.

In the first place, everybody in the world has to be roomed and boarded, and has to provide a certain amount of upkeep for themselves. Every hot shower you take costs someone something somewhere down the line. Clean towels? Very few teenagers have any conception of just how much their parents are providing for them, or how much it costs for them to be comfortably alive. Rent and food and clothing and electricity and water, electronics, transportation, gasoline, not to mention health insurance. What if you get sick?

Even if this mom is going to pay for everything and keep you up completely, buy you cell phones and new clothes, do your laundry and buy your school lunches, what if your girlfriend decides she wants to break up with you, wants to see other people, etc.? Or if the police visit because of what has been reported, and the family asks you to leave. You're about to be homeless in Oklahoma.

I'm thinking of another possible very bad scenario. I'm not just shocked at your girlfriend's mother, I'm thinking she may be one of those mothers, who, when the daughter has a boyfriend with a family of higher social/economic means (officer's kid as opposed to enlisted family's kid for example) thinks it'd be cozy to have a grandchild with a good provider for the next 18 years, never mind whether there's a marriage or a relationship for that long. Get this girl pregnant now and you're going to be involved with this family, mother and daughter, for a longer time than you've been alive yet. And choices will be made about YOUR life and your future that you didn't plan to make.

Sit down right now and plan yourself a totally self supporting budget for how you will survive (without help!) when you make this move. Assume your parents can't have you thrown in juvie, but they can cut you off completely as far as support. They can take back what they've bought for you. Read about that person who's been kicked out at 18 who is trying to get his clothes and what he considers his personal possessions out of his parents house. Think and plan and try to work this out differently.
 
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LeeHarveyBlotto

Senior Member
It's completely legal to do what you want the day you turn 18.

I have no word strong enough to describe how bad an idea it is in 99.9999% of situations.
 

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