Can I sue husband's mistress?

[weefriends]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?NC
What is the name of your state?North Carolina
I am wondering if anyone knows of a law that states I can sue my husbands mistress?They had an affair that lasted 16 months.They are not together now.My husband and I am working it out (after 20 years) but I want to make her "pay" one way or the other?Any ideas????
Thanks,Tracy

[seniorjudge]

[url]http://www.rosen.com/alienationofaffection/[/url]

[url]http://writ.news.findlaw.com/grossman/20031216.html[/url]

Apparently, alienation of affection is alive and well in North Carolina.

I am not vouching for either of these websites and be cautioned that it could be abolished or weakened. So talk to a lawyer.

[weefriends]

Thanks Seniorjudge.One more question?I have never sued anyone before.Do I go to their county(courthouse)?Thanks,Tracy

[seniorjudge]

You go to a lawyer.

[stealth2]

And be prepared for every part of your life - no matter how private - to become public fodder.

[pty]

[url]http://www.rosen.com/alienationofaffection/[/url]

To succeed on an alienation claim, the plaintiff has to show that (1) the marriage entailed love between the spouses in some degree; (2) the spousal love was alienated and destroyed; and (3) defendant’s malicious conduct contributed to or caused the loss of affection.

Merely my personal opinion, but I imagine it's going to be hard to prove that the love was destroyed, if you're still together and trying to work things out--which is a wonderful thing by the way.

You could probably sue for criminal conservation, but it's going to put a great deal of stress on your marriage. Are you sure you want to do that?

[weefriends]

I didn't think about our lives and family memebers lives becoming public knowledge.We are very involved in our children's school and church.So ,no,I am not willing to let our livs become public for money.Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by pty
You could probably sue for [B

criminal conservation[/b]

Just as an FYI... that would be criminal conversation.

[Zephyr]

My husband and I am working it out (after 20 years) but I want to make her "pay" one way or the other?



ok, while I understand your hurt and your frustration at having been betrayed, I think you need to be a little more reasonable about this. This other woman is NOT the one who betrayed you, she never made you any promises, she owed you nothing. now because, you and hubby are trying to work it out, you are villianizing this woman (not that what she did was right by any means, but you don't know for sure that your husband even made her aware of the fact that he was married when this first started) because your feelings are hurt.

the person who hurt your feelings is your husband, not her. the person who betrayed you is your husband, not her. the person who broke promises to you is your husband, not her. the person, if any, who should "have to pay" is your husband, not her.

[weefriends]

I guess you have never been through anything like this.Maybe you have been the "other woman" I don't know.I didn't ask for your opinion on why I am doing or wanting to make her pay.I just wanted legal advice.
The bitch will pay one way or the other! Believe me my husband pays for his discretions daily!

[casa]

Originally Posted by weefriends

I guess you have never been through anything like this.Maybe you have been the "other woman" I don't know.I didn't ask for your opinion on why I am doing or wanting to make her pay.I just wanted legal advice.
The bitch will pay one way or the other! Believe me my husband pays for his discretions daily!

Lovely~ so you make your husband's life (& yours, by proxy) a living hell daily in order to be able to punish him? Then why would you stay with him?

I think WANNACRY makes excellent points. It was your husband that made vows to you- not this other woman...if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else. And now, you've only taught him that betrayal will be tolerated- because you stayed with the cad.

Yes, I've been there- done that- bought the T-shirt...and it was no one's fault but my husband's. Now, he can make someone else miserable and I've gone on with my life. If someone can lie to you for 16 months~ I find it very hard to believe they would suddenly be faithful.

Remember- the best revenge is Happiness.

[Happy Trails]

Triple post.
[url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=273698[/url]
[url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=273699[/url]

[Zephyr]

Originally Posted by weefriends

I guess you have never been through anything like this.Maybe you have been the "other woman" I don't know.I didn't ask for your opinion on why I am doing or wanting to make her pay.I just wanted legal advice.
The bitch will pay one way or the other! Believe me my husband pays for his discretions daily!

btw- I have had a cheating husband, he is now my ex husband

and that whole "the bitch will pay" nonsense is kind of scary. kind of a role reversal in "Fatal Attraction"

maybe you should seek some seperate couseling apart from your husband to work on your private anger issues towards this woman, possibly also your feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment and impotence in regards to this entire situation. Just a thought

[weefriends]

Ya'll are making some good points.I was just thinking a few minutes ago why I was blaming the other woman.I think it is because I don't want to face that someone I love hurt me.It is so much easier to blame her.Ya know?
Casa you are right!Happiness would be the best revenge.But I just can't get to that point.
Also,I didn't think about by me staying with him it would show him that his betrayal will be tolerated.
I sometimes think I am staying for our 4 children.I have always been a housewife and worked a few hours a week.I worked at a Christian preschool until all of this mess happened and I couldn't function anymore.Anyway,Ia m sure ya'll don't want to hear all of this.I just don't know what to do or where to turn anymore.

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by weefriends

Ya'll are making some good points.I was just thinking a few minutes ago why I was blaming the other woman.I think it is because I don't want to face that someone I love hurt me.It is so much easier to blame her.Ya know?
Casa you are right!Happiness would be the best revenge.But I just can't get to that point.
Also,I didn't think about by me staying with him it would show him that his betrayal will be tolerated.
I sometimes think I am staying for our 4 children.I have always been a housewife and worked a few hours a week.I worked at a Christian preschool until all of this mess happened and I couldn't function anymore.Anyway,Ia m sure ya'll don't want to hear all of this.I just don't know what to do or where to turn anymore.

Where to turn? Turn his ass out of your bedroom and tell him to prove himself to his abandonned family.

That is the FIRST place to turn.