changing my childrens last names

What is the name of your state? IL
when my children were all born now 6-4- & 2 I gave them my last name due to the fact their father and where not married and for two years now are no longer in a relationship. He has since taken me to court to get their last name changed to his, in which we are a waiting trial. I personally want the children to be able to deicide for themselves when they turn 18 if they would like to change there last names, but lawyer tells me that I'm going to lose the battle because it's better for the children to have his last name. is this true? or is there anyother known cases like this to help me on where or not I should continue to fight this. my wish is for the child to be able to decide for themselfes. It's not a selfish act on my behalf, I've raised them with little help from him. And I really don't think this a judges decision, it's the childrens decison

[VG1013]

Originally posted by kjb6673
What is the name of your state? IL
when my children were all born now 6-4- & 2 I gave them my last name due to the fact their father and where not married and for two years now are no longer in a relationship. He has since taken me to court to get their last name changed to his, in which we are a waiting trial. I personally want the children to be able to deicide for themselves when they turn 18 if they would like to change there last names, but lawyer tells me that I'm going to lose the battle because it's better for the children to have his last name. is this true? or is there anyother known cases like this to help me on where or not I should continue to fight this. my wish is for the child to be able to decide for themselfes, but their father is very selfess and wants it changed now.

From reading your post...I would say that your the one who sounds selfish. Your lawyer is right...your going to lose.

Originally posted by VG1013
From reading your post...I would say that your the one who sounds selfish. Your lawyer is right...your going to lose.

I have been very fair to their father in the past 6yrs, and you not knowing the full story, you have no right to call me selfish. Iam A very easy going person, who would help any one who asks, and am not selfish in anyway. Their father is a very controling and implusive person who only cares about himself and wouldn't support his children until he was forced to by the state. Some one who doesn't think they should pay child support has a problem. I appreicate your comment, but it helps to more information before you critisize a person, you think???? I don't own a gun and never will.

[VG1013]

ok

[stealth2]

Originally posted by kjb6673
What is the name of your state? IL
my wish is for the child to be able to decide for themselfes.

Well, you're actually the one who made the decision for them... I would listen to what the lawyer's telling you and save your money.

[MamaLlama]

Just curious as to the reasoning that the children having the Father's last name is "better for them".

[ellencee]

Just curious as to the reasoning that the children having the Father's last name is "better for them".

MamaLlama

We live in a patriarchal society, which means we are known by our fathers' surnames; our heritage, lineage, properties, etc. are categorized by who our fathers are.

[stealth2]

Originally posted by MamaLlama
Just curious as to the reasoning that the children having the Father's last name is "better for them".

It's not, necessarily. But I found it interesting that OP said she put her name on the BC, yet wanted the kids to decide which last name to use when they turn 18.