Child Custody

My son is 15 years old and we have joint custody. He is very unhappy with his natural father and would like to have custody changed over to myself (natural birth mother) and his step-dad who I married 3 years ago. I wasn't sure what age the judicial system considers old enough to make his own decision. He will be 16 on 02/03/02.

If you have some idea how to go about this let me know. My son has been seeing a counselor for some time and she says he is being damaged by the time spent at his dad's. Thanks so much.

My first suggestion would be to find a new counselor!!!!!!... as you said, he has been seeing her for sometime and she evidently isn't helping him.
Second, at his age, your son has the right to be with whichever parent he wants as long as he can convince a judge he is doing this of his own accord.
Third, if your husband is going to adopt your son, you must have your ex's permission. If he isn't going to adopt him then he is legally out of the picture other than he is a significant part of your son's life and his continued presence is in your son's best interest. Also, child support will more than likely stop if your husband legally adopts him.
And last, remember at your son's age, at some future date, he may want to go live with bio dad. If he does this and your husband has adopted him, he may find himself paying child support, just an FYI**************..

Originally posted by erev46
My first suggestion would be to find a new counselor!!!!!!... as you said, he has been seeing her for sometime and she evidently isn't helping him.
Second, at his age, your son has the right to be with whichever parent he wants as long as he can convince a judge he is doing this of his own accord.
Third, if your husband is going to adopt your son, you must have your ex's permission. If he isn't going to adopt him then he is legally out of the picture other than he is a significant part of your son's life and his continued presence is in your son's best interest. Also, child support will more than likely stop if your husband legally adopts him.
And last, remember at your son's age, at some future date, he may want to go live with bio dad. If he does this and your husband has adopted him, he may find himself paying child support, just an FYI**************..

There are many things wrong with this "advice" you have given...
1st off- the counselor could be called as a witness as to how the father is "damaging" the son. How is it proven that the counselor hasn't helped the boy?
2nd- The judge who is hearing the custody matter will judge of his own accord and will take into CONSIDERATION where the child wants to live..but may still rule for the son to remain with the father.
3rd-Susan never even asked if her husband can adopt her son...which more than likely even if her husband did it would not happen as bio-dad has been involved in child's life for all of this time and may not willingly sign over all of his rights for another person to adopt his son.
To Susan....as I said the judge will take into consideration your son's wishes to want to live with you but will judge what he deems to be in the child's best interests... The proof of what "damage" your ex is doing to your son lies solely on you to prove to the judge. It can not be heresay it will have to be documented proof...i.e. neglect, abuse, alcohol/drug use, etc...

Good Luck to you...

To Deefran,
My response regarding change of counselors is based soley on the limited info provided. The counselor should be an advocate for the child while providing counseling based on family value's. If she truly believe's the father is damaging the son she should bring the father into the sessions. Again there isn't enough info to make a specific judgement on this. Further she can be called in as a witness or to testify regardless if she is the current counselor...
Second, These parents have joint custody therefore, they have equal say in how he is raised.
Third, My point here is that unless he is going to adopt, he has no legal say in this matter.

Deefran, I think to say that a judge will force a 16 year old to spend time with a parent he dosen't wish to be with is a little unreasonable, I am not saying this couldn't happen but it is very unlikely. Further, I wouldn't even suggest cutting the Bio-father out completely.