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10-30-2007, 03:22 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 7
| | | child out of wedlock - name change
What is the name of your state? Illinois
I have looked and looked for the answer to this and finally I thought I had found a place to find the answer however who ever posted the question must have made some one mad because they wont answer her. now here is my question... I am new to this, I had my child out of wedlock in north carolina... my childs father lives in Iowa my child support is set in Iowa, and I made the BIG mistake of giving my child his last name, I now want to change it because I am engaged and we all 3 have different names  and it is hard for my child in school having to explain why all 3 of us have different names  . My childs father hasnt seen or talked to her in almost 4 years and also only pays child support sporratically. What my question is ... is do I have to have his permission to change the last name ... I have found a few different answers to this question and was wondering if anyone can point me in the right direction... and if so could some one tell me how to go about doing it also, like where I would get the forms to fill out and about how much it might cost me. Thank You in advance for any help you guys may be able to give me.
Ali  |
10-30-2007, 03:26 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 11,205
| | | What name do you want to give your child? |
10-30-2007, 03:26 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 14,181
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by lilgirlali  do I have to have his permission to change the last name | Generally, yes.
And, you shouldn't go changing the child's last name on every little whim that comes along. It's not all that uncommon for kids to have a different last name from their mother.
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The information I gave is based on my 7 seconds of research on Google. Review the information yourself to make an informed decision. Also, the information I posted may no longer be accurate.
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10-30-2007, 03:26 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: South Cackalacky
Posts: 14,808
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by lilgirlali What is the name of your state? Illinois
I have looked and looked for the answer to this and finally I thought I had found a place to find the answer however who ever posted the question must have made some one mad because they wont answer her. now here is my question... I am new to this, I had my child out of wedlock in north carolina... my childs father lives in Iowa my child support is set in Iowa, and I made the BIG mistake of giving my child his last name, I now want to change it because I am engaged and we all 3 have different names and it is hard for my child in school having to explain why all 3 of us have different names . My childs father hasnt seen or talked to her in almost 4 years and also only pays child support sporratically. What my question is ... is do I have to have his permission to change the last name ... I have found a few different answers to this question and was wondering if anyone can point me in the right direction... and if so could some one tell me how to go about doing it also, like where I would get the forms to fill out and about how much it might cost me. Thank You in advance for any help you guys may be able to give me.
Ali | You need the permission of the father or the courts.
You can also change your last name to match your child's last name.
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10-30-2007, 03:38 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 7
| |  i can not change my last name to match hers... her father is not a good person at all ... i want her last name to be changed to my last name and its not a whim I have been thinking about this for almost 4 years now. But it seems like maybe I got the answer I was looking for but if there is anymore light anyone can shine on the subject, please feel free to post it ... Thank you |
10-30-2007, 03:52 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: CO
Posts: 13,106
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Originally Posted by lilgirlali i can not change my last name to match hers... her father is not a good person at all ... i want her last name to be changed to my last name and its not a whim I have been thinking about this for almost 4 years now. But it seems like maybe I got the answer I was looking for but if there is anymore light anyone can shine on the subject, please feel free to post it ... Thank you | He's still her father; what's more, he's the father you selected. You can't change her name without his permission. That's that.
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10-30-2007, 04:21 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 7
| | | Silverplum - thank you for your insight.... I will hire an attorney to help me with the name change. Its not a matter of WANT to change it its more of a matter of HAVE to change it. There are aspects of my situation that are a lil more difficult and I wont air all my dirty laundry over a forum of people I dont even know I just thought I would give this a shot.... You guys have been wonderfully helpful and I have gotten some of the answers that I need. However again if you have anymore insight for me please let me know ... Thanks - Ali - |
10-30-2007, 04:21 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: CO
Posts: 13,106
| | You're welcome. 
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"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." Ford, at The Other Place |
10-30-2007, 04:23 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 14,181
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by lilgirlali Silverplum - thank you for your insight.... I will hire an attorney to help me with the name change. Its not a matter of WANT to change it its more of a matter of HAVE to change it. There are aspects of my situation that are a lil more difficult and I wont air all my dirty laundry over a forum of people I dont even know I just thought I would give this a shot.... You guys have been wonderfully helpful and I have gotten some of the answers that I need. However again if you have anymore insight for me please let me know ... Thanks - Ali - | There is no way that you HAVE to change the name.
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The information I gave is based on my 7 seconds of research on Google. Review the information yourself to make an informed decision. Also, the information I posted may no longer be accurate.
Communication is KEY - 10 mins of talking now can save you months of headaches later!
Masterfully stating the obvious to the oblivious! (Thanks SP!)
Tell it like it is! |
10-30-2007, 04:33 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 7
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Zigner There is no way that you HAVE to change the name. | you're right I guess. Either way you guys have been helpful thank you. |
10-30-2007, 04:38 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 14,181
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Originally Posted by lilgirlali you're right I guess. Either way you guys have been helpful thank you. | You're welcome - and thanks for the nice attitude even when you didn't hear what you might have hoped to. That's refreshing 
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*
The information I gave is based on my 7 seconds of research on Google. Review the information yourself to make an informed decision. Also, the information I posted may no longer be accurate.
Communication is KEY - 10 mins of talking now can save you months of headaches later!
Masterfully stating the obvious to the oblivious! (Thanks SP!)
Tell it like it is! |
10-30-2007, 04:43 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: CO
Posts: 13,106
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Zigner You're welcome - and thanks for the nice attitude even when you didn't hear what you might have hoped to. That's refreshing | No kidding, Zig!
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"Judges want people to be reasonable. Where one parent won't be reasonable, judges still want the other parent to remain reasonable." Ford, at The Other Place |
10-30-2007, 04:52 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 7
| | | for some people its a hard decision ... a big step to take ... however... sometimes its in the best interest and I want to be as best educated as i can about it... i think it will be in her best interest. like i said its a long story and a bad situation all around... just a thougt to keep in mind... not everyone is who they seem to be in the begining.... i have learned decisions you make when you are young can drastically affect you in the future. Thanks again guys |
10-30-2007, 04:53 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: TN
Posts: 1,507
| | | What name are you planning on giving the child? If you plan on getting married and changing your last name to your fiance's, will you attempt to change it to his?
Then, say for instance the two of you don't work out, what will you do about the child's last name then?
Get my point?
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10-30-2007, 05:03 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 7
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Neal1421 What name are you planning on giving the child? If you plan on getting married and changing your last name to your fiance's, will you attempt to change it to his?
Then, say for instance the two of you don't work out, what will you do about the child's last name then?
Get my point? |
i completely understand what you are saying.... and I am actually going to change it to my last name which is also my moms last name.... I am a Realtor so I will keep my last name even when we get married its just easier that way... and I will be easier for her to explain that than to explain why the guy she calls daddy has one last name ... her mommy has a different last name and she has yet another last name.... it is emotionally hard for her... my fiancee is by all means her dad.... anyone can be a FATHER but it takes someone special to be a daddy. And he is great. I grew up with the same situation my mom had me by someone (he abandoned my mom and I before I was born) and I grew up knowing her husband (they got married when I was 9 months old ) as daddy ... so my last name was one thing ... and theirs were something else ... it was hard... so i have been there and want to make her life as easy as possible | |
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