Child's Name Change

[LizShafer]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania.

My children's father has been deceased for over 2 years. Am re-marrying next month, and will take my fiance's last name. What is the easiest way to also change my children's last name to his? Their ages are 7, 5, and 3. They were all born in NYS if that has any bearing on it.

Thank you for your time What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania.

My children's father has been deceased for over 2 years. Am re-marrying next month, and will take my fiance's last name. What is the easiest way to also change my children's last name to his? Their ages are 7, 5, and 3. They were all born in NYS if that has any bearing on it.

Thank you for your time What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

This is something that you really shouldn't contemplate for a few years. No matter how good intentions can be, the reality of things is that sometimes marriages do not last and your children should not be put through changing their last names multiple times in their lives. What you might consider doing is hyphenating your last name rather than changing it entirely, so that you and the children share part of your last name.

Then in a few years your soon to be husband may be interested in adopting the children and then their last names could be changed as part of an adoption.

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

This is something that you really shouldn't contemplate for a few years. No matter how good intentions can be, the reality of things is that sometimes marriages do not last and your children should not be put through changing their last names multiple times in their lives. What you might consider doing is hyphenating your last name rather than changing it entirely, so that you and the children share part of your last name.

Then in a few years your soon to be husband may be interested in adopting the children and then their last names could be changed as part of an adoption.

Good Morning! Good advice as usual!

[LizShafer]

My future husband intends to adopt the kids as soon as possible. I am Catholic and do not believe in divorce. My reasons for this are my own, and our names will be changed. On careful thought, prayer, advice from family and clergy, our family is just that, our family, and we will share a family name. No one can predict the future, and I will not have my children without their fathers last name, based on a what-if.

I would appreciate direct answers to my question, and not opinions on my decision making.

I DO appreciate the concern though, and totally understand where it is coming from.

[LdiJ]

My future husband intends to adopt the kids as soon as possible. I am Catholic and do not believe in divorce. My reasons for this are my own, and our names will be changed. On careful thought, prayer, advice from family and clergy, our family is just that, our family, and we will share a family name. No one can predict the future, and I will not have my children without their fathers last name, based on a what-if.

I would appreciate direct answers to my question, and not opinions on my decision making.

I DO appreciate the concern though, and totally understand where it is coming from.

If your future husband intends to adopt the children, then during the adoption proceedings is when the last names should be changed. Otherwise, you will be paying an attorney and going to court twice regarding the children, instead of once. Changing a last name as a result of a marriage or adoption is pretty easy. Changing a last name separately is quite a bit more complicated.

[LizShafer]

I guess I wasn't really clear, I apologize. I am asking if/how I may change their last names when I change my own next month-- with marriage.

We are waiting to start the adoption process after we get married, as well. But we are guessing the adoption will take some time, so we would like to begin with the names, if it can be done sooner. We would like to kids to get acclimated to the name changes (mine/theirs) all at once, so we can move on as a family, and they can learn to spell, write the name, etc.

Do you know how to do this (my original question)? Documents needed, where to go, etc.?

[cyjeff]

We realize what you are asking.

It is, in a nutshell, how can I change my children's names to my fiancee's without him adopting them?

I recommend you do it when he adopts the children.

[LizShafer]

Actually, the question (again) is how may I change my children's name to *mine and my husbands* after we are married, and before he adopts them.

Is this a state secret or something?

Nevermind, I will find my answers elswhere.

Thank you very little.

[LdiJ]

I guess I wasn't really clear, I apologize. I am asking if/how I may change their last names when I change my own next month-- with marriage.

We are waiting to start the adoption process after we get married, as well. But we are guessing the adoption will take some time, so we would like to begin with the names, if it can be done sooner. We would like to kids to get acclimated to the name changes (mine/theirs) all at once, so we can move on as a family, and they can learn to spell, write the name, etc.

Do you know how to do this (my original question)? Documents needed, where to go, etc.?

You would have to hire an attorney and go to court. Its not as simple as filing out forms. THEIR last names cannot be changed as a result of your marriage, only yours can. Their last names can be changed because you want them to be changed, but it will be a court proceedure.

[cyjeff]

And why you are getting continuous advice to wait is simple.

Getting the names changed is a part of the adoption process. Until the children are adopted, changing their name to that of a legal stranger is problematic.

Do schools see him as a parent? Doctors? Anyone?

Until he legally adopts the children, he has no legal right to insert himself as a guardian to the children in any regard.

Therefore, people less virtuous than yourself use the name change as a "back door" adoption... where they fool everyone but haven't actually performed the legal filings necessary.

This means that if you and your husband divorce or if you die prior to the adoption, the children will be removed from your fiancee... as he is a legal stranger.

It is far better to do this the proper way.... even though it doesn't allow you to pretend what you want to pretend when you want to pretend it.... because very few people go through with the adoption after the children's names have been changed.

Which is why more and more judges refuse.

[ecmst12]

And another thing.....your children lost their father. That's a horrible, traumatic thing. It seems to me that by taking away their father's name, you are trying to erase him from existence. Like he was never a part of their lives, didn't provide half their DNA. Your new husband can be a great influence in their lives, and there are solid legal reasons for him to adopt them, but he should never try to actually REPLACE their real father.

[AHA]

Actually, the question (again) is how may I change my children's name to *mine and my husbands* after we are married, and before he adopts them.

Is this a state secret or something?

Nevermind, I will find my answers elswhere.

Thank you very little.

Why the need to erase their father's name out of their lives?
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.