cohabitation

[lisa0911]

Michigan
My boyfriend and I have chosen to move in together, and both have children. He was recently informed that in his divorce , which is over 5 years old, that he cannot reside with someone until they marry, if we dont intend on being married, how can we get around this?

 

[Proserpina]

Michigan
My boyfriend and I have chosen to move in together, and both have children. He was recently informed that in his divorce , which is over 5 years old, that he cannot reside with someone until they marry, if we dont intend on being married, how can we get around this?

You don't. If it's in his decree that he cannot cohabitate outside of marriage, and he wants to change it, he'll have to go to court.

That's assuming he's telling you the truth.

 

[LdiJ]

Michigan
My boyfriend and I have chosen to move in together, and both have children. He was recently informed that in his divorce , which is over 5 years old, that he cannot reside with someone until they marry, if we dont intend on being married, how can we get around this?

Please answer three questions:

Have you already moved in together?

Who informed him that his divorce decree says that?

Has he gotten out his divorce decree and read over it to see if it really says that?

 

[Proserpina]

Please answer three questions:

Have you already moved in together?

Who informed him that his divorce decree says that?

Has he gotten out his divorce decree and read over it to see if it really says that?

Perhaps more importantly to the OP, has SHE read over it?

 

[LdiJ]

Perhaps more importantly to the OP, has SHE read over it?

I do understand where you are coming from, but I got the impression that they had already moved in together and now this is coming after the fact. If I am wrong, you could be right. If I am right, then you could still be right but it also might be a case of dad listening to the wrong person. The state in question doesn't normally include those kinds of things in their "standard" verbiage.

 

[lisa0911]

We are a week.away from moving, his ex wife reminded him, and I don't believe he has looked at it.

 

[Ohiogal]

We are a week.away from moving, his ex wife reminded him, and I don't believe he has looked at it.

Well he needs to read his documents and understand them. If he cohabitates against court orders, it is possible that he could lose custody of his children. So he may have to choose between his children and you. Quite frankly, legally this is not your business. It is up to him to decide if this is important to him. If it is important to him, he will read his court orders. He will then decide whether to follow them, ignore them, or attempt to modify them. If he chooses you over his children, consider what type of man he actually is.

 

[lisa0911]

Even though up to a week before she was ok with it, and now she's changing her mind. I am worrying about my child as well, this is supposed to be our home and now we have to find a new home.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

If you and he feel so strongly about cohabitation, I suggest you get married so you can live together. It may be old fashioned, however, it will solve the problem.

 

[Ohiogal]

Even though up to a week before she was ok with it, and now she's changing her mind. I am worrying about my child as well, this is supposed to be our home and now we have to find a new home.

The COURT ORDER controls. End of story. If mom was okay with it, then dad and her should have filed an agreed entry in order to modify the court order IF the court order states no cohabitation. "We" don't have to find a new home. YOU may have to find a new home or HE and the children might have to find a new home as you can NOT cohabitate if the order states that he cannot. You are totally missing the point.

 

[Antigone*]

Even though up to a week before she was ok with it, and now she's changing her mind. I am worrying about my child as well, this is supposed to be our home and now we have to find a new home.

Why are you worried about your child? Your child will be fine with you as you are the child's mother. He needs to remember that a court order is just that, an order and not a suggestion.

 

[lisa0911]

What I meant was I have to worry about myself and my child finding a home if this doesn't work out. I can't have this up in the air one week before we move in. I guess I need to wait it out and let him contact his lawyer.

 

[Antigone*]

What I meant was I have to worry about myself and my child finding a home if this doesn't work out. I can't have this up in the air one week before we move in. I guess I need to wait it out and let him contact his lawyer.

This is the exact reason for the order the way it was written. Both mom and dad decided at the time of the divorce that they didn't want THEIR children placed in this type of compromising position.

 

[stealth2]

What I meant was I have to worry about myself and my child finding a home if this doesn't work out. I can't have this up in the air one week before we move in. I guess I need to wait it out and let him contact his lawyer.

Well... I would suggest that you secure housing for yourself and your child regardless of what lover-boy does. Why would you leave your child's housing up in the air?