cohabitation during legal separation

[Newkiddz]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina
The man that has come into my life is legally separated from his wife. We would like to pursue moving in together before his divorce is final. What are the consequences of that if any? He has no children and he paid his portin of the agreed upon debt. Does she have any legal avenues to use against him if we do move in together?

[kimberlywrites]

Expect her to make his life difficult via a long, drawn out divorce process. What's your rush?

[xylene]

Originally Posted by Newkiddz

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina
The man that has come into my life is legally separated from his wife. We would like to pursue moving in together before his divorce is final. What are the consequences of that if any? He has no children and he paid his portin of the agreed upon debt. Does she have any legal avenues to use against him if we do move in together?

Your boyfriend needs to talk seriously with his divorce lawyer.

A big part of this is also - does his stbxw know about you and how does she feel?

Also - did you precipitate this divorce action?

[Newkiddz]

I was not involved with him by any means before he separated from his wife, however she did find out about me and believes that I was. She is absolutely against him seeing anyone. Is there a risk for me as well?

[kimberlywrites]

I found this link on North Carolina Alienation of Affection Laws. While it's not common, they do have the law, and they paid out for it as recently as 2001.

[url=http://www.carolinafamilylaw.com/alienation_of_affection.html]Alienation of Affection: North Carolina Law | Haas McNeil, Raleigh, NC[/url]

Again, what is your rush? Why cant you wait to live together until he's divorced?
You're not pregnant, are you?

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by kimberlywrites

I found this link on North Carolina Alienation of Affection Laws. While it's not common, they do have the law, and they paid out for it as recently as 2001.

[url=http://www.carolinafamilylaw.com/alienation_of_affection.html]Alienation of Affection: North Carolina Law | Haas McNeil, Raleigh, NC[/url]

Again, what is your rush? Why cant you wait to live together until he's divorced?
You're not pregnant, are you?

i'm actually looking for that. i think i recall seeing that some law was revised on that....still hunting.

but it would still be up to wife to prove girlfriend was involved prior to the marriage ending.

but i had that same question. are you pregnant OP? since husband has no kids....what's with the screenname?

[kimberlywrites]

Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano

i'm actually looking for that. i think i recall seeing that some law was revised on that....still hunting.

but it would still be up to wife to prove girlfriend was involved prior to the marriage ending.

but i had that same question. are you pregnant OP? since husband has no kids....what's with the screenname?

Wow, Is! Great question...you are very observant.
Wonder where OP went?

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by kimberlywrites

Wow, Is! Great question...you are very observant.
Wonder where OP went?

ha ha! others would say otherwise.....


i'm getting better. mental checklist.

[Golfball]

Originally Posted by Newkiddz

I was not involved with him by any means before he separated from his wife, however she did find out about me and believes that I was. She is absolutely against him seeing anyone. Is there a risk for me as well?

Oh Lord, yes, there is a risk of lots and lots of legal fees even if no judgement is rendered against you, and given the small amount of information you have told us.

For example, you have not told us if there is a separation agreement, specifically one including a waiver of marital torts. If there isn't (either no separation agreement in fact, or a complete marital tort waiver is missing), then you are potentially exposing yourself to an AofA or Criminal conversation lawsuit.

If there is a pending alimony or PSS hearing, cohabitation can make things more interesting/expensive.


And your boytoy's STBX can do an enormous number of things to make any ongoing proceedings more expensive and/or difficult, even w/o the alimony/PSS or AofA/Criminal Conversation.


Why hasn't your boytoy's attorney threatened to break his kneecaps? (Mine told me my kneecaps were figuratively in danger if I even dated before my separation agreement was signed. I could expect death by a thousand papercuts (using my attorney's bill for costs as the cutting implement) if I cohabited. In other words, dating or worse, cohabiting, while there are proceedings actively going on is a monumentally BAD idea.)

[Ohiogal]

Legally separated means still married. Meaning you would be committing adultery if you were cohabitating with him.

[Golfball]

Idle curiosity on my part:

Is it adultery if there is cohabitation, or does there need to be actual boinkage going on? For example, if a college-aged male (who happens to be married, but his wife is elsewhere for whatever reason) signs a lease to rent a room where the remaining inhabitants are all female (also in college), is adultery being committed if everyone sticks to their own rooms (and the common areas?) Assume for the sake of argument that all parties are actually ok with this arrangement. (For example, the female housemates are friends of wife-that-is-elsewhere or some such. Of course, that doesn't apply in this situation, because at least one party appears to be actively ticked about the whole thing.)

[mommyof4]

Originally Posted by Golfball

Idle curiosity on my part:

Is it adultery if there is cohabitation, or does there need to be actual boinkage going on? For example, if a college-aged male (who happens to be married, but his wife is elsewhere for whatever reason) signs a lease to rent a room where the remaining inhabitants are all female (also in college), is adultery being committed if everyone sticks to their own rooms (and the common areas?) Assume for the sake of argument that all parties are actually ok with this arrangement. (For example, the female housemates are friends of wife-that-is-elsewhere or some such. Of course, that doesn't apply in this situation, because at least one party appears to be actively ticked about the whole thing.)

§ 14‑184. Fornication and adultery.

If any man and woman, not being married to each other, shall lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together, they shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor: Provided, that the admissions or confessions of one shall not be received in evidence against the other. (1805, c. 684, P.R.; R.C., c. 34, s. 45; Code, s. 1041; Rev., s. 3350; C.S., s. 4343; 1969, c. 1224, s. 9; 1993, c. 539, s. 119; 1994, Ex. Sess., c. 24, s. 14(c).)

And just because NC laws sometimes tickle me:

§ 14‑186. Opposite sexes occupying same bedroom at hotel for immoral purposes; falsely registering as husband and wife.

Any man and woman found occupying the same bedroom in any hotel, public inn or boardinghouse for any immoral purpose, or any man and woman falsely registering as, or otherwise representing themselves to be, husband and wife in any hotel, public inn or boardinghouse, shall be deemed guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor. (1917, c. 158, s. 2; C.S., s. 4345; 1969, c. 1224, s. 3; 1993, c. 539, s. 120; 1994, Ex. Sess., c. 24, s. 14(c).)

If you're going to do anything immoral, do it in your car (like decent folks).

[Some Random Guy]

Is it adultery if there is cohabitation, or does there need to be actual boinkage going on?

Generally, boinkery is required to make it adultery.
[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultery]Adultery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

But adultery is not required for Alienation of affection.

Not sure if this adjustment to the law was passed or not. It was introduced april of this year.
[url]http://www.ncleg.net/sessions/2009/bills/house/pdf/h1110v4.pdf[/url]

[Ohiogal]

Generally cohabitation requires boinkage as well. The other situation is just roommating.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Generally cohabitation requires boinkage as well. The other situation is just roommating.

(apologies for the hijack)

Could I quote you on that in sig line? That is awesome!