New Jersey does not recognize common law marriages. You two have been living together, not married.
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A "common law marriage" is one in which the parties may hold themselves out as a husband and wife, and under certain circumstances, be deemed married without a marriage license or ceremony. New Jersey does not allow the creation of a “common law” marriage, a relationship in which a couple lives together but have not participated in a lawful ceremony. Unlike some other states, in New Jersey a couple cannot acquire marital rights and responsibilities by living together for a particular period of time. You do not need legal action to end such a relationship, if it was created in New Jersey.
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[url=http://www.njdivorceonline.com/njpages/Alimony/commonlawmarriage.asp]Common Law Marriage in New Jeresy[/url]
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First of all, a common law marriage cannot be established in most states. Only Alabama, Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas and Utah, as well as the District of Columbia, recognize common law marriages. New Hampshire recognizes common law marriages only for the purposes of inheritance. In any other state the only marriage that is recognized as valid is an official one.
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[url=http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/divorce/article61.asp]Is Common Law Marriage an Alternative to the Real Thing?[/url]