Complicated Situation

[ginger45]

Columbia Illinois.
Our six year old grandson is living with us-dropped off by DCFS September 25th when mother willing turned him over to DCFS-mother wants no contact with son or us-mother signed a paper allowing grandson to stay with us 3-6 weeks in which time he was to meet his birth father-establish an relationship and live him.

Daughter is sick-severe personality disorder-daughter is mad at us because we were the ones that called DCFS and reported abuse of grandson by his stepfather-daughter and stepfather want to punish us and grandson.

We have introduced grandson to his birth father and they have spent a small amount of time together in the last eight weeks. The birth father said that he wants grandson to come and live with him.

Here are my concerns:
1. Birth father has 4 children (including our grandson) he does not support 3 children (including our grandson).
2. Birth father works and seems to have plenty of money to support his girlfriend and their 8 week old baby-pay for her school-have three cars-spend hundreds of dollars on a puppy pit bull-get tattooed -and what ever other irresponsible behavior he desires-while being $13,000 behind in child support. He works a job that he gets paid under the table-collects welfare benefits (food stamps-medical card-free daycare).
3. I do not believe he really wants his son-he has never supported him-attempted to see him or have anything to do with him.

We love our grandson-have been the only stable-loving-nurturing-responsible-people in his life. Grandson has lived with us for half his life and nobody loves him -has his best interest-provided for him more than us.

Even though we are happy grandson is no longer in abusive relationship we do not feel that turning him over to his birth father who is living his girlfriend and 8 week old baby is a good option.

Seeing that the mother does not want grandson living with us-birth father said he wants him is there any thing we can do?

Can something be done about the fact that he $13,000. behind in child support-being paid under the table-tax evasion-fraudulent collecting welfare benefits?

Seems so many things are wrong here on so many levels yet nothing can be done. I want to fight for my grandson-I want him to thrive-grow up in a loving stable environment -teach him to be a strong responsible person that contributes to society. Yet it seems to be a losing battle.

Any direction here-advise-suggestions?
We are not poor-but do not have thousands of dollars to spend on legal fees

 

[Proserpina]

If Dad wants custody you're going to have an uphill battle to prevent him from being successful.

While it's possible that you may have a chance, I can pretty much guarantee that if you file suit and lose, you'll probably never see your grandson again. The best option might be to play nice with Dad so he doesn't feel threatened. Offer to be a strong support system for him...it honestly might be the best thing to do for ALL concerned.

With that said, please consult with a local attorney - there are some complex issues here that frankly can't be addressed in this type of forum.

 

[LdiJ]

If Dad wants custody you're going to have an uphill battle to prevent him from being successful.

While it's possible that you may have a chance, I can pretty much guarantee that if you file suit and lose, you'll probably never see your grandson again. The best option might be to play nice with Dad so he doesn't feel threatened. Offer to be a strong support system for him...it honestly might be the best thing to do for ALL concerned.

With that said, please consult with a local attorney - there are some complex issues here that frankly can't be addressed in this type of forum.

I agree that there are some complex issues involved.

There is apparently some involvement with DCFS.

We don't know if they took custody of the child and then placed the child with grandma, or if some how they just acted as a conduit to deliver the child to grandma on the mother's behalf.

If DCFS officially placed the child with grandma, any decision making is not in grandma's hands, its in DCFS's.

I agree that it would be quite difficult to deny a father his constitutional rights to the care and custody of his child. However, I do have a concern about a 6 year old being sent to live with a parent that they have just met, and have only seen a few times over an 8 weeks period.