Confused?

[RRevak]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Why is it that adoptive parents get the rights, respects, and abilities to call themselves "parents" while step parents get treated as if they are casual observers even if they have been around most of or all of the child's life? Some argue that a step parent is not the biological parent so they shouldnt be making decisions regarding "their" children, but neither are "adoptive" parents. Where is the defining line? I see it all the time on this forum. Once people find out that the person posting is a step-parent, everyone gets angry and informs them that they essentially dont count. Why does that not apply to adoptive parents? Isnt it the same? Non biological person making or helping to make decisions for non biological child? Can a step parent obtain the same legal rights that adoptive parents have?

 

[njjean]

What is a "parent"?

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Why is it that adoptive parents get the rights, respects, and abilities to call themselves "parents" while step parents get treated as if they are casual observers even if they have been around most of or all of the child's life? Some argue that a step parent is not the biological parent so they shouldnt be making decisions regarding "their" children, but neither are "adoptive" parents. Where is the defining line? I see it all the time on this forum. Once people find out that the person posting is a step-parent, everyone gets angry and informs them that they essentially dont count. Why does that not apply to adoptive parents? Isnt it the same? Non biological person making or helping to make decisions for non biological child? Can a step parent obtain the same legal rights that adoptive parents have?

The difference is that the LEGAL parents get all the LEGAL RIGHTS. Adoptive parents are the legal parents because the went through a legal procedure to become such, and the biological parents either lost or gave up thier rights to the child.

A step parent is typically there in addition to the biological parents who are still the legal parents, even though they may be separated or divorced, or perhaps were never married at all. If you are partnered/married to the childs parent and the other parent is deceased, you are still a step parent unless you legally adopt the child.

It is possible for a biological parent to agree to legally give up rights to thier child in order to allow a step parent to adopt thier child, but that would be rare.

As far as respect, that is not a legal issue. There is much more to parenting than donating DNA. A step parent may not count "legally", but they do count to the child and deserve the respect and admiration of others for doing a job made much harder given their situation.

Hope that answers all your questions. Good luck!

 

[Ohiogal]

The difference is that the LEGAL parents get all the LEGAL RIGHTS. Adoptive parents are the legal parents because the went through a legal procedure to become such, and the biological parents either lost or gave up thier rights to the child.

A step parent is typically there in addition to the biological parents who are still the legal parents, even though they may be separated or divorced, or perhaps were never married at all. If you are partnered/married to the childs parent and the other parent is deceased, you are still a step parent unless you legally adopt the child.

It is possible for a biological parent to agree to legally give up rights to thier child in order to allow a step parent to adopt thier child, but that would be rare.

As far as respect, that is not a legal issue. There is much more to parenting than donating DNA. A step parent may not count "legally", but they do count to the child and deserve the respect and admiration of others for doing a job made much harder given their situation.

Hope that answers all your questions. Good luck!

Good answer. However stepparents cannot expect the court to give them the respect of a parent. The court is there to deal with the law and the rights of those involved. Stepparents have no rights quite frankly when it comes to stepchildren -- the parents do. And the parents' rights are constitutionally protected.

 

[RRevak]

reply

In about a week or so my significant other and i will officially be married. We talked and decided to take the advice of a poster on the other thread i began and marry via court ceremony. All of our necessary paperwork is completed so all we do now is finish the job so to speak. So coming back to the other post, my daughers father no longer wants custody and has expressed that he's willing to relinquish his parental rights. Now that i'm going to be married, what would be the process (and would it even be possible) for my then husband to adopt if her father is willing to allow it? I am aware that we at least have to be married a year or two, not clear as to which, but are clueless as to what happens from there. We have been together for almost 3 years, living in a stable home together for over a year, with both of us providing adequate support for her. She also has three (my extended family, my "husbands" extended family, and her fathers family) family's who also love and care for her. My other question is, as far as her fathers family is concerned, by my husband adopting my daughter would it be right for me to still allow her to see and interact with them even if her father doesnt want to be in the picture? I really love that my daughter has them in her life and they love that she is there, but we are all concerned about what it will do to her if she sees her paternal grandparents while her father chooses to be absent.

 

[Ohiogal]

You hire an attorney.

 

[LdiJ]

In about a week or so my significant other and i will officially be married. We talked and decided to take the advice of a poster on the other thread i began and marry via court ceremony. All of our necessary paperwork is completed so all we do now is finish the job so to speak. So coming back to the other post, my daughers father no longer wants custody and has expressed that he's willing to relinquish his parental rights. Now that i'm going to be married, what would be the process (and would it even be possible) for my then husband to adopt if her father is willing to allow it? I am aware that we at least have to be married a year or two, not clear as to which, but are clueless as to what happens from there. We have been together for almost 3 years, living in a stable home together for over a year, with both of us providing adequate support for her. She also has three (my extended family, my "husbands" extended family, and her fathers family) family's who also love and care for her. My other question is, as far as her fathers family is concerned, by my husband adopting my daughter would it be right for me to still allow her to see and interact with them even if her father doesnt want to be in the picture? I really love that my daughter has them in her life and they love that she is there, but we are all concerned about what it will do to her if she sees her paternal grandparents while her father chooses to be absent.

Ditto what OG said.

I will also add that of course its perfectly ok to allow your daughter to have her paternal, biological, extended family in her life. In fact, its admirable that you want to keep them involved in her life. That a sign of a very good parent.

The grandparents however will need to be careful not to bring up dad (assuming that your husband adopts) or bring dad around when the child is with them. That would confuse the child unnecessarily.

 

[VeronicaLodge]

you already got your answer but I just wanted to point out the answer to this question:

Where is the defining line?

Answer: an ADOPTION is the defining line.