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Contested POA over mother?

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TommySmith

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

My father passed away on 01 MAY 2015. When all is said and done, my mother received $24,000 towards the middle of JUN 2015. Since then (2 months), she has spent over $18,000 on BS including thousands of dollars to friends, over $2,000 to a stranger on Facebook and over $3,000 to a "friend" in Nigeria. All of her bills are past due, she lies, she has pawned her rings and will not stop blowing money. My step-brother moved in (in the beginning of all of this) and is paying $600 a month, she gets an additional $1,600 a month for social security and has blown through ALL of it (on top of the 18k). She's convinced that all of these people are good, down on their luck people and will pay her back... She really has no business being on the internet. She lives in the 1960's and is too naive for current society, especially on the internet..

I've taken control over the last $6,400 by withdrawing it from her account. But I know her, she figures she can continue to blow money and I'll be forced to use the rest of her savings to cover her bills. But that's not going to happen...

She's 67 and "now" has a 45 year old "rich" internet guy sniffing around. Not to be mean, but she's hardly a good looking 67 year old woman either. So the 45 year old "rich" guy has intentions of playing her. She has no money, so the house is the only thing he could get.

She just doesn't comprehend money management. She WILL end up blowing everything and I will not cover her bills so that she can go blowing her own money.

What are my options? Just let her go about on this self destructive path? I'm not going to let her drag my own fiances into ruin over this either. I have a family to care for.

What are my options? I've mentioned a Power of Attorney so that I could take over her finances completely and give her what's left over after paying the bills, but she won't sign one willingly.
 
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Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

My father passed away on 01 MAY 2015. When all is said and done, my mother received $24,000 towards the middle of JUN 2015. Since then (2 months), she has spent over $18,000 on BS including thousands of dollars to friends, over $2,000 to a stranger on Facebook and over $3,000 to a "friend" in Nigeria. All of her bills are past due, she lies, she has pawned her rings and will not stop blowing money. My step-brother moved in (in the beginning of all of this) and is paying $600 a month, she gets an additional $1,600 a month for social security and has blown through ALL of it (on top of the 18k). She's convinced that all of these people are good, down on their luck people and will pay her back... She really has no business being on the internet. She lives in the 1960's and is too naive for current society, especially on the internet..

I've taken control over the last $6,400 by withdrawing it from her account. But I know her, she figures she can continue to blow money and I'll be forced to use the rest of her savings to cover her bills. But that's not going to happen...

She's 67 and "now" has a 45 year old "rich" internet guy sniffing around. Not to be mean, but she's hardly a good looking 67 year old woman either. So the 45 year old "rich" guy has intentions of playing her. She has no money, so the house is the only thing he could get.

She just doesn't comprehend money management. She WILL end up blowing everything and I will not cover her bills so that she can go blowing her own money.

What are my options? Just let her go about on this self destructive path? I'm not going to let her drag my own fiances into ruin over this either. I have a family to care for.

What are my options? I've mentioned a Power of Attorney so that I could take over her finances completely and give her what's left over after paying the bills, but she won't sign one willingly.
Unless you can show that she's actually incompetent, she's free to waste her money as she pleases.

How did you take money out of her account? You need to be very careful there.
 

TommySmith

Junior Member
Unless you can show that she's actually incompetent, she's free to waste her money as she pleases.

How did you take money out of her account? You need to be very careful there.
I was added to the savings account when we deposited the insurance. I'll use her money (and keep records) to keep her bills paid as long as it lasts, but after it's gone, it's gone.
 

justalayman

Senior Member
Your mother exhibits symptoms of a few mental conditions I am familiar with. You need to have her examined by a medical professional and if she is not capable of handling her own affairs, you would have to seek to be appointed conservator and/or guardian. Yes, she can blow her own money, if she is of sound mind. It's that last part you need to be certain still applies.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Your mother exhibits symptoms of a few mental conditions I am familiar with. You need to have her examined by a medical professional and if she is not capable of handling her own affairs, you would have to seek to be appointed conservator and/or guardian. Yes, she can blow her own money, if she is of sound mind. It's that last part you need to be certain still applies.
And there's the Catch 22. If she won't willingly go to be assessed, OP is going to have quite a battle on his hands.

I agree completely with your first sentence but with the caveat that some people are just not that smart with their money. There doesn't have to be a reason behind it, even if it's a sudden change in behavior.
 

justalayman

Senior Member
And there's the Catch 22. If she won't willingly go to be assessed, OP is going to have quite a battle on his hands.

I agree completely with your first sentence but with the caveat that some people are just not that smart with their money. There doesn't have to be a reason behind it, even if it's a sudden change in behavior.


It's not just the spending, although spending without realization of the consequences is a symptom of some mental disorders as well.

I am simply suggesting OP do what it takes to get mom examined.
 

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