Custody of Unborn Child

What is the name of your state? West Virginia

I am 18 years old and (obviously) an expectant mother. I have several legal questions that will undoubtedly lead to more questions than answers, but I have to try.

1) Can I refuse to name a father on the birth certificate as long as he doesn't contest it?
2) Are custody and child support proceedings done automatically for mothers on a medical card here?
3) How is child support determined here?
4) How long does a parent have to be absent in a child's life for it to be considered abandonment?
5) What is the difference between full and joint custody?
and finally
6) What has to be shown to establish a parent unfit?

Originally posted by Momma2B
What is the name of your state? West Virginia

I am 18 years old and (obviously) an expectant mother. I have several legal questions that will undoubtedly lead to more questions than answers, but I have to try.

1) Can I refuse to name a father on the birth certificate as long as he doesn't contest it?
2) Are custody and child support proceedings done automatically for mothers on a medical card here?
3) How is child support determined here?
4) How long does a parent have to be absent in a child's life for it to be considered abandonment?
5) What is the difference between full and joint custody?
and finally
6) What has to be shown to establish a parent unfit?

so many questions so little time.
1) You can use his or your own name on the birth certificate. Until the father establishes paternity the name of the father can be unknown.
2)No idea. Call welfare.
3)[url]http://www.divorcehq.com/calculators/wv_supportcalc.shtml[/url]
If you are on welfare I think a portion or all of your child support goes to them. Again you'd have to call them.
4) ?
5)Full custody means that either you or your ex have primary custody of the child. The child resides with the person that has full custody. Joint custody means what it says it's joint... you share decision making and time with the child.
6) I think you can answer this question on your own.

Aricci,
Thank you for your input. As for question 6, I do know what makes a parent unfit. I do not, however, understand what I have to prove legally. I can prove previous drug use, but proving continuing drug use could be more difficult. I can prove that the environment he lives in is uncouth, but not necessarily a threat to my child's life. Drunks play with guns and people are abused there, but it is nothing I can prove. From what I am learning in my law classes, the only relevant information is the information that one can prove. The question, I suppose, would be this: what is the minimun I would have to prove in court to have him declared unfit? I just didn't think proving that he has a grumpy disposition would do much of anything.

[nailtech]

1) Can I refuse to name a father on the birth certificate as long as he doesn't contest it?
2) Are custody and child support proceedings done automatically for mothers on a medical card here?
3) How is child support determined here?
4) How long does a parent have to be absent in a child's life for it to be considered abandonment?
5) What is the difference between full and joint custody?
and finally
6) What has to be shown to establish a parent unfit?

If he doesn’t know your in labor and is not present at the hospital, then how can he protest it? The BC is most often done before your leave the hospital… you can name the child what ever you wish and even in your maiden name… he would have to petition the court and pay to have the child renamed and go through DNA testing to prove the child is his first…IMO, if the child is older when this is tried, sometimes the courts wont change the name since its confusing to the child to learn a new name but it depends on the courts…

If paternity or child support has been established then your not required to let him have visitation until he petitions the court and proves he’s the father by DNA testing… but if you ask for child support or receive welfare on this child then the states going after him for the support… which may open you up for his visitation rights…

Full custody you make the decisions, joint you both do…

Usually a murderer, psycho (sometimes)… in prison, child molester, rapist and or sometimes assault charges… ‘Unfit’ is usually a tough one to prove unless he has a criminal record…

If you’re a law student, have you read the statutes on WV to answer your question on abandonment and support guidelines ??

(In Texas having Medicaid does not automatically open you up for custody and support arrangements, not until you file for AFDC, (aid to families with dependant children) welfare payments then they go after the father for repayment, in Texas the attorney general will set up a court date to calculate support and custody and visitation schedules)

so IMO if you dont want the father in the picture dont ask anything from him or the state unless he's the type (a caring father) to go after it himself..

IMO,(in my opinion) "dont open the door if you dont want visitors"...

Momma 2B:

This is a very important question,

If you are taking law classes that is nowhere as important as, Why on earth did you spread your legs to a know drug addict and a loser? AND to make matter worse, why did you have unprotected sex with the bozo?

That is what is wrong here.

If you were smart and loving and kind and not a selfish inconsiderete woman, you would give your child up for adoption, therfore the child would have no knowledge of the LOSER EX-CON dope you slept with.

PS..... if you ever collect welfare or food stamps or medicaid, they will demand you name him as a father, and yes that opens up his rights for visitation, so youd better NOT become POOR, or Broke!

See adoption is looking better every day!

[stealth2]

Originally posted by zappy
Momma 2B:

This is a very important question,

If you are taking law classes that is nowhere as important as, Why on earth did you spread your legs to a know drug addict and a loser? AND to make matter worse, why did you have unprotected sex with the bozo?

That is what is wrong here.

If you were smart and loving and kind and not a selfish inconsiderete woman, you would give your child up for adoption, therfore the child would have no knowledge of the LOSER EX-CON dope you slept with.

PS..... if you ever collect welfare or food stamps or medicaid, they will demand you name him as a father, and yes that opens up his rights for visitation, so youd better NOT become POOR, or Broke!

See adoption is looking better every day!

Go away, zappy. I've read three replies from you this morning, and none are remotely helpful.

Ohbgee whiz....momma

This is THE BEST advice anyone can give her.

If she doesnt take it then, she will be back posting Social services are taking her child cause the boyfriend attcked her or some other stupid reason.

She needs to KNOW that being POOR is not an option, if she doesnt want the father to be a part of her life.

So what to you want to to do... give her a BIG Oprah hug and say it's ok?

[VeronicaGia]

Originally posted by Momma2B
Aricci,
Thank you for your input. As for question 6, I do know what makes a parent unfit. I do not, however, understand what I have to prove legally. I can prove previous drug use, but proving continuing drug use could be more difficult. I can prove that the environment he lives in is uncouth, but not necessarily a threat to my child's life. Drunks play with guns and people are abused there, but it is nothing I can prove. From what I am learning in my law classes, the only relevant information is the information that one can prove. The question, I suppose, would be this: what is the minimun I would have to prove in court to have him declared unfit? I just didn't think proving that he has a grumpy disposition would do much of anything.

All of this was fine and dandy when you were with him, but now it's a problem, and not only do you want to deny him his right to be a parent, you want to deny your future child the right to have a father. IMHO, you are both unfit, as you didn't think twice about his drug use before the pregnancy and neither did he. In fact, if I had to guess, you were likely right there with him but now you want to get on your high horse.

Your child has the right to have both parents in his/her life. If you are not willing to give your child what he/she deserves in the form of this basic necessity, you are too selfish to be a parent.

[purpledragon]

Zappy and Veronica gia

People make mistakes. Most people learn from them. She wants to protect her child. Maybe she was raped by this man. She is trying to do what is best for her child. You are being a little rough on her and until you know her situation, you shouldn't judge her.

Still doesn't matter, the child comes FIRST, therfore that means adoption.

Just look at Rikki Lake Show,(and others) poor backwood girls havin babies with losers, and the child suffers big time, cause the girls aint got nothin except the kid, so they are Against abortion and givng the kid up for adoption.

Its a very selfish attiude.

[purpledragon]

I never read on her post that she was a poor backward girl. She may be able to provide very well for her baby. She sounds like she cares for the baby's well being. I agree with adoption, I was adopted myself and couldn't have asked for better parents. I know people leave babies all the time, sometimes to die. My sister recently gave birth do a baby that was addicted to crack-cocaine, and she still doesn't know the meaning of "BIRTH CONTROL"! But some young girls make very good mothers, and they really do care about their babies. You don't know her story, so don't judge her.

[nailtech]

She might be young and stupid, but who wasn’t at that age???

I had an ex husband who was on drugs, but found out I was pregnant before I found out he was on drugs, he hid it well, I left to raise my child alone I had just turned 18, my child was only 2 months when I left, she is now 22 and her father is still a drug addict, and she has no contact with him what so ever,. she didn’t even meet him until she was 15 and all he had to converse with her about was his rail road tracts... so just because she’s young and stupid doesn’t mean she's not capable... and just because he's a father doesn’t mean he's capable of being a daddy... being a sperm donor doesn’t make it right to ruin a child’s life if he cant get his own in order...

She is now happily married with her own child and she’s a great mother… And my daughter thanks me all the time for not letting her dad have any influence in her life and keeping her away from him… and thanks me for all my hard work as a single mom raising her…


So momma2be, you do what you need to do,…… and do it well….

Nailtech:
Thank you for your input. Any advice worth listening to has only confirmed what I understood to begin with- that if I ask him for nothing, then I will "owe" him nothing. I will do what I have to do (for my child as well as myself) and I will do it well.

Momma_Tiger:
Thank you for defending me and my child while others made judgements without knowing the facts. I appreciate your support.

Purpledragon:
Thank you for defending me and my child. I assure you that I am no specimen of backwater, poor, white trash. Despite popular belief as of late, I am very well educated and very well to do financially. I appreciate your judicious attitude.

Veronica Gia:
"IMHO"? I refuse to accept that any opinion you hold is humble in any fashion. I am NOT too selfish to be a mother. Basic necessities (such as safety and health) are my main concerns. I am not trying to DEPRIVE my child of a parent. I am determined to PROVIDE an environment where my baby is not paying the price for the fact that his/her mother put herself in a precarious situation. That is not selfish. I am sorry you are so blind and naieve as to think otherwise.

Zappy:
You have attacked my character, my child, and my very essence. Contary to what you might think, it is not only poor little backwoods white girls who "spread their legs" and poor little backwoods white girls do NOT have a monoploy on mistakes. I will not dignify your unjustified, uninformed, judgemental slander with my story. You do not deserve it. I will have you know that I considered abortion as well as adoption and found THOSE options to be far more selfish than owning up to what has happened. I have more than enough financial means to care for this child (my finances- not mommy's or daddy's- mine). I am physically and mentally capable of caring for a child. Refusing to deal with the situation simply because I don't feel like it one day would be selfish. I have more in my life than my child and the decision to raise my baby is not based on the fact that "nobody else in the world loves me". I have a world of love and possibilities surrounding me and not one piece of my life is underappreciated. My decision to raise this child was based on the fact that I considered whether or not I was capable and, finding that I am, realized that no one will love him/her like I will. It was a chioce of love and devotion that I hope you will someday comprehend. I will write you off, as I have so many others, and I will hope for your heart to soften someday. I don't know you, so I will not delve into what I think of you based on your unhelpful, painful, degrading remarks. I will, however, lose no sleep over the fact that people who act the way you do always bring punishment on themselves far better than I could mete out.

My rude comments did it's job.

To make sure you knew what you are up against.

>>>>>>>that if I ask him for nothing, then I will "owe" him nothing<<<<<<<

That is pretty much correct dont ask for support, OR get welfare/medicaid, and he wont have much of a chance at visitation.

Of course if he actually stops doing drugs and gets a $50,000 a year job, and is willing to pay $10,000+ to a lawyer, then he would have a good chance of changing that.