dealing with ex

[gretch]

My boyfriend and me have a problem with his ex girlfriend. He has a daughter with her and she thinks she should have control over every thing in his life. She has gone as far as threating me and him with taking us to court. He pays child support every week, cares for her on the weekends and during the summer. Our problem is she(ex) will call come to our homes yelling and screaming over little issues. She says she has let him slide way to long. Which we don't get. They haven't been together for over 5 years yet she still thinks she has a right to control his life and who he see's.What is our best way of dealing with her? We need some peace in our life's. She tells us we can not sleep together, comes over out of the blue, we cann't kiss in front of her daughter or even hold hands. Please help us before we all go insane.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My boyfriend and me have a problem with his ex girlfriend. He has a daughter with her and she thinks she should have control over every thing in his life. She has gone as far as threating me and him with taking us to court. He pays child support every week, cares for her on the weekends and during the summer. Our problem is she(ex) will call come to our homes yelling and screaming over little issues. She says she has let him slide way to long. Which we don't get. They haven't been together for over 5 years yet she still thinks she has a right to control his life and who he see's.What is our best way of dealing with her? We need some peace in our life's. She tells us we can not sleep together, comes over out of the blue, we cann't kiss in front of her daughter or even hold hands. Please help us before we all go insane.

My response:

There's nothing, from a legal standpoint, that you can do other than to get out of the situation yourself.

As long as she's around, and as long as they have a child together, then expect a life of problems.

If that's what you envision life to be for yourself, then you have my sympathies.

IAAL

 

[MySonsMom]

That's terrible. Like IAAL said, there isn't much you can do legally. You can try setting up an alternative method of communicating with her. There is no reason that she should be coming to your home that much.

It just goes to show that my point is valid. Be very picky when choosing the Mother or Father of your child. It can make you or break you.

 

[Ukiah]

My boyfriend and me have a problem with his ex girlfriend. He has a daughter with her and she thinks she should have control over every thing in his life. She has gone as far as threating me and him with taking us to court. He pays child support every week, cares for her on the weekends and during the summer. Our problem is she(ex) will call come to our homes yelling and screaming over little issues. She says she has let him slide way to long. Which we don't get. They haven't been together for over 5 years yet she still thinks she has a right to control his life and who he see's.What is our best way of dealing with her? We need some peace in our life's. She tells us we can not sleep together, comes over out of the blue, we cann't kiss in front of her daughter or even hold hands. Please help us before we all go insane.

Though IAAL and MSM are right, I would have to go a little further and say, IF you really want to stay in this relationship, then what I suggest you do, is have the father tell her that he will be recording all conversations with her, and DO IT. If she doesn't stop, file for custody.

Do a modification of the custody agreement, have it state she can not come to your residence unless she is dropping off/picking up the child. State that she can not call unless she is going to have a conversation pertaing to the welfare of the child, if she doesn't follow it, have her brought up on contempt charges.

Take a good look at the situation from both sides, his AND hers. Find out from both why it didn't work out. Maybe if you become "friends" with her she'll settle down. You threaten her, that's the reason she acts in the way she does.

If it doesn't look like things are going to change, I would do what IAAL and MSM suggest, get out. You don't want your future children in a situation like that do you?

[Edited by Ukiah on 02-23-2001 at 01:51 PM]

 

[gretch]

Thanks everyone. But let me tell you this, she has been married to 4 differnt people, thank god mine boyfriend never married her. Anyhow she has but some in a mental hospital, she has hit and shot at some of them. She is a complete insane person. But i will talk over the tape thing with my boyfriend. I hope that will quite her mouth to us .We live in NC and all we want is some peace and quite from her. We have his daughter this weekend and i know she will be over and start some kind of trouble.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Anyhow she has but some in a mental hospital, she has hit and shot at some of them. She is a complete insane person.

My response:

Yes, I would definately stay in your current relationship.

Sounds real healthy.

IAAL