deceased infant body exhumation

[TBTN]

I am from South Dakota.I would like to know if my former boyfriend has any rights to challenge the paternity of my decease son by requesting to have my infant son's body to be exhumed to start the DNA testing to determine who is biological father in Oklahoma? There were two potential fathers of my son. My former boyfriend and my current husband.my son was born and died in oklahoma 7 yrs ago and buried there.reason this is brought up because it was my husband's name listed as a father of my son on my son's death certificate.my former boyfriend wanted that changed.

 

[LadyBlu]

Is there a specific reason that he feels the need after 7 yrs to do this? I mean my goodness, it has been 7yrs. Where has he been for the past 7yrs that it is now an issue?

 

[TBTN]

my ex-boyfriend has been living in california for the past 7yrs. Yes, he knew of my son's birth in oklahoma where, I and my current husband(who was then my fiance)he didn't make an effort to challenge the paternity then.

He had also been harrassing me since the day I broke up with him and had dated my husband.I was then my ex-boyfriend's roomate while I was still dating my husband, then few weeks later, I was told by my doctor that I was pregnant.(at least 2mos pregnant) so this is the reason for having two potential fathers here.Ex-boyfriend didn't have intrest in my son then execpt to use it as a mean to get me back with him.

reason he is asking for it now 7 yrs later is because I told him that I would not divorce my husband to go back with my ex-boyfriend.so he started this situation by saying he is the true father of my son and wanted to remove my husband's name off from my son's death certificate and put his name on it instead. there is no name listed as a father on birth certificate.

 

[LegalBeagle]

my ex-boyfriend has been living in california for the past 7yrs. Yes, he knew of my son's birth in oklahoma where, I and my current husband(who was then my fiance)he didn't make an effort to challenge the paternity then.

He had also been harrassing me since the day I broke up with him and had dated my husband.I was then my ex-boyfriend's roomate while I was still dating my husband, then few weeks later, I was told by my doctor that I was pregnant.(at least 2mos pregnant) so this is the reason for having two potential fathers here.Ex-boyfriend didn't have intrest in my son then execpt to use it as a mean to get me back with him.

reason he is asking for it now 7 yrs later is because I told him that I would not divorce my husband to go back with my ex-boyfriend.so he started this situation by saying he is the true father of my son and wanted to remove my husband's name off from my son's death certificate and put his name on it instead. there is no name listed as a father on birth certificate.

I suggest you go down to the court house and get a protection order against this person. Take as much evidence as you can and ensure you state that this man is threatening to dig up your lost child.

He will get absolutely no where in court in his attempts at a paternity test.

 

[TBTN]

I already had a restraining order against this man.that part was being taken care of now.He also wanted to visit my son's grave in later next month, I too had that taken care of to keep him away from my deceased son's grave as well.I just wanted to know if he had any rights to even ask for the exhumation of my deceased son's body to have paternity test done.

 

[Ukiah]

Is there anyway you can move from that city? Change your phone number? There shouldn't be any reason for him to contact you. Especially since this is 7 years past.

 

[LegalBeagle]

I already had a restraining order against this man.that part was being taken care of now.He also wanted to visit my son's grave in later next month, I too had that taken care of to keep him away from my deceased son's grave as well.I just wanted to know if he had any rights to even ask for the exhumation of my deceased son's body to have paternity test done.

He can ask.. but it will never happen.

 

[TBTN]

ukiah,My husband and I had tried to move to another place with diffrent phone number, etc. didn't work my ex-boyfriend keeps finding me for the past 7 yrs, I moved to diffrent places 5 times.Right now, both my husband and I are working on something diffrent here.We are planning on moving to another place after the restraining order hearing is finnished.

 

[Ukiah]

Is there a family member or mutual friend of yours that he has regular contact with? If not, when you change your phone number, don't give it to anyone. Over time, you can start to give it out, preferably one at a time this way if your X gets the number you may be able to determine who is giving it to him.

After the hearing, Maybe look into get a conversation recorder. When he calls tell him you are recording him and then will turn the information over to the poilce for his arrest of violation of a restraining order. **NOTE** if he is in Calif. You must make sure the tape includes you stating the fact that he is being recorded.

You should get a PO BOX, and have ALL mail going to that. He may have someone in a public position who is able to tell him where you are living (physical address), by having all your mail go to a po box, you are making it more difficult for him to find you. If someone asks you for your physical address, tell them the same thing I do... I am being stalked, and was advised not give give my home address to anyone. Most places will not argue with that, if they do, ask to speak with a manager.

Have your phone number unlisted, or if possible, maybe under someone else's name. HAve caller ID, if it's a number you do not recognize, don't answer. If you get continual hang ups, file a police report and have a trace put on your phone by the phone company, when someone calls and hangs up report it to the phone co. After a month, they will be able to determine if it was your X calling and hanging up or not. Either way they will tell you if the number is coming from the same person or not, and they will notify the police to contact that person.

On a personal note, I have a PO Box, no listed phone number and when I went to the DMV for my ID and DL, I gave an address of a friend as my residential address but had it sent to the po box, and no one could find me. I have all legal doc's going to that po box, and have been told it is a little harder to personally serve me through this mean.

If you have to, look into changing your social security number and DL/ID numbers, he may have these numbers and is one way he may be able to track you.

I hope it all works out.






[Edited by Ukiah on 03-14-2001 at 12:02 PM]

 

[TBTN]

I already have caller id, I don't pick up the phones anymore unless I made an arrangement with another person who plans to call me at specfic times I.E. my mother in law etc.most of calls that I don't take personally usually goes to voice mail.I did try the unlisted phone number, he still finds out.and he does go and look for my adopted father and makes contact with him, however, my father wants nothing to do with my x.

My husband and I are doing most of that(caller id,planning to move etc.) and more.right now, I am looking for a lawyer in SD area to help my husband and I with other matters.

My x does have someone in higher postitions (his father is a lawyer)and his youngest brother is something of a computer whiz. I don't know if my x had his father helping him but I think he did get his youngest brother to help him with computer.I also think that he did take my social security card that contains my ssn on it and he continualy sends away for my birth certificate that also contains both of my parents' ssn on it and it's what I think is how he tracks us.which is why My husband and I decided to have a possiblity to have total identity change, and that is what I am looking into with a lawyer to see what this state laws has regarding that and what is needed to get that done then we would move to another place.

 

[BugHogan]

This is terrible. No advice to offer, but wanted to offer you condolences for the loss of your son. You shouldn't have to deal with this crazy person on top of that! Sounds like he is stalking you. I wish you and your husband all the best.

 

[TBTN]

Bughogan,
thank you, and he is stalking me has been for a long time, his demands to have my son's body to be exhumed for the paternity test is just his latest action in form of harrassment/stalkings.He had never took intrest in knowing who is my son's biological father 7 yrs ago untill he now suddenly decides to take such an intrest in knowing who is my deceased son's father.

 

[BugHogan]

Do you have a restraining order on him now? Sounds like this guy is pretty sick and needs to be locked up for a long time! It's a shame that the laws on this aren't much more strict. My cousin had her ex-boyfriend stalking her for a while and it was terrible. Nothing compared to what you are going through though, I can't even imagine having to consider moving and hiding because of the action of some twisted, cruel individual. I don't think he has any right to know about your son's parentage or even to visit his gravesite. I'm sure any judge or legal authority would agree with that.

If you don't have a restraining order, I would really urge you to consider filing one. They don't completely protect you, but at least if the jerk comes around or bothers you in any way or through anyone, there is recourse and he will go to jail.

 

[TBTN]

BugHogan, yes I just filed the restraining order agianst him recently.since he lived in another state, I had to have the documents faxed to the sheriff's office in the state where my ex-boyfriend lives to have it served.will have a hearing in about two weeks.As soon the hearing is finnished, then, my husband and I will start the process of moving, and other things.

I already called the grave caretaker in the state where my deceased son's gravesite is at, to let them know that my ex-boyfriend is not to be anywhere near my son's gravesite.I did that a month ago then agian two weeks ago when my ex-boyfriend contacted me agian two days before I filed the restraining order, he notified me that he plans to travel to that state where my son's gravesite is and to visit on the day my son had been born,I called the caretaker agian and she told me that he had contacted them already but,told me that she doesn't think he would come by that way anyway because it would cost money to travel there, after I explained to her that he could afford to travel this way.She said that she would make a note on computer, etc to warn other caretaker of this.

I planned on moving my son's gravesite to another place where My husband and I are planning on moving to.am Looking around to find out the costs, and to find the person whom I needed to talk to.Got the info on that already.

 

[TBTN]

UPdate, the restraining order I mentioned, it had been served to my x boyfriend in another state last week. And the order of protection hearing is april 2nd.

My x boyfriend's advocate person called my couselor and he told her that they will still going through in getting the infant body exhumation case filed.I have not heard anything from them offically as of yet.My x boyfriend called my couselor two or three weeks ago and said he decides not to pursue it then last week his advocate called her and said they changed their mind and decides to pursue it.I think it's because my x got served with restraining order that they decide to go ahead with it.