Disestablishment of paternity

[4pumpkins]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

To put a long story short, I have a child with my current partner whose birth certificate has my ex-husband's name on it (we were married at the time of her birth.) Does my current partner have to petition for paternity testing or is there another way to go about this? I am in NJ, but the baby was born in PA while we lived in PA (she has lived in NJ for a year so is now a legal NJ resident.) Yes, we have let this go for far too long, I don't need to be told that twice. Who has jurisdiction here, also? We were told by an NJ clerk that PA does since it's a PA birth certificate, but the clerk at the PA office seemed to think that was bogus. She also recommended that we pursue stepparent adoption with bio-dad rather than going through the paternity process, since this isn't custody or support-related and all is amicable, we just want the correct name on the BC. Very confusing. Thanks in advance.

 

[justalayman]

how old is the child

did the divorce address the child? in other words, did your ex-husband and yourself state the child was a product of the marriage?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

To put a long story short, I have a child with my current partner whose birth certificate has my ex-husband's name on it (we were married at the time of her birth.) Does my current partner have to petition for paternity testing or is there another way to go about this? I am in NJ, but the baby was born in PA while we lived in PA (she has lived in NJ for a year so is now a legal NJ resident.) Yes, we have let this go for far too long, I don't need to be told that twice. Who has jurisdiction here, also? We were told by an NJ clerk that PA does since it's a PA birth certificate, but the clerk at the PA office seemed to think that was bogus. She also recommended that we pursue stepparent adoption with bio-dad rather than going through the paternity process, since this isn't custody or support-related and all is amicable, we just want the correct name on the BC. Very confusing. Thanks in advance.

How old is the child?

 

[cyjeff]

And is your ex husband currently paying child support for this child?

 

[4pumpkins]

Child is 2. Ex has never acted as her father, paid support, etc. We were separated when she was conceived, all parties have always been aware. We signed paperwork to this effect at her birth but he ended up on the birth certificate anyway. This was mentioned in our divorce paperwork ("Ex is also listed on (child)'s birth certificate as Father but both parties acknowledge that Ex is not (child)'s biological father and are in the process of correcting (child)'s birth record") but we were told that isn't binding. He was advised to seek a lawyer to disestablish when she was born but chose not to, and a lawyer he spoke to six months ago seemed very confused about the situation and told him he wasn't sure why we couldn't just sign paternity over since everyone was in agreement... turned out to be untrue, obviously. I am just trying to figure out the easiest way to take charge and extricate ourselves from this and get the right name on the birth certificate.

 

[ecmst12]

If you are married to bio dad, step parent adoption is probably the easiest. But you have to be married for that.

 

[justalayman]

a somewhat generic response because i am using a computer that hates me and makes searching very difficult.

bio father will have to sue to establish paternity. Both you and the legal father have likely lost your right to dissestablish paternity since you were divorced and neither challenged paternity at that time. That means both you and the legal father have acccepted he is the father. Especially since the situation of impregnation was known and accepted by you and the legal father, you likely have both lost your right to contest paternity now, That leaves it to the bio father to contest it.

The bad news is: the courts could refuse to change the paternity based on the time and circumstances and what is in the best interest of the child.

 

[Silverplum]

a somewhat generic response because i am using a computer that hates me and makes searching very difficult.

bio father will have to sue to establish paternity. Both you and the legal father have likely lost your right to dissestablish paternity since you were divorced and neither challenged paternity at that time. That means both you and the legal father have acccepted he is the father. Especially since the situation of impregnation was known and accepted by you and the legal father, you likely have both lost your right to contest paternity now, That leaves it to the bio father to contest it.

The bad news is: the courts could refuse to change the paternity based on the time and circumstances and what is in the best interest of the child.

Ah, well, this poster was told what to do two YEARS ago.

 

[4pumpkins]

Ah, well, this poster was told what to do two YEARS ago.

Now, wait. Is that necessary? I have come here respectfully asking advice a few times. I haven't been argumentative or dramatic, in fact, I've been downright grateful and expressed as much. As I stated, we did the proper paperwork in the hospital to keep him off the birth certificate and he ended up on there anyway, whether due to paperwork error or PA red tape, I don't know. My ex-husband did not take the necessary action to disestablish paternity when he had the chance to do so, because he "didn't see the point." He had no intentions of cooperating, showing up, etc - and I let it slide for far too long - I own that. Abusive relationship that it took me a long time to get out of mentally, and at the time I felt that the risk of pushing him on it and starting another cycle of abuse and threats wasn't worth it. Thanks for making me explain that. Anyway, I don't understand why the board culture here seems to lean towards being sarcastic and, at times, downright nasty. I asked for advice from people with more experience than myself - nothing more. I've been respectful and thankful on every post I've made here for the exact reason of avoiding this type of thing. Seems like it's unavoidable, sadly. You can roll your eyes, and I'll be happy for you that you are in a place in your life where none of this would ever be an issue for you.

To anyone who may find this thread looking for this info in the future... we have found after going in circles with Domestic Relations both PA and NJ that the "easy" way to do this is to file for child support against my ex-husband, and then he will have the chance to contest paternity. Not something I want to do, so we are still searching for alternatives and trying to figure out who has jurisdiction (they don't seem able to decide who does; we keep getting bounced back and forth.) Thanks to everyone who offered advice, both two years ago and now.

 

[justalayman]

I didn't go back and read your post so...


were you told 2 years ago what to do? You have to realize that time is not on your side in this type of issue and 2 years is a long time for this sort of situation. That 2 years might have been the difference between being able to challenge paternity and not being able to.

I suspect your ex has no right to contest paternity due to the time and divorce without making an issue of it at that time.


the state having jurisdiction is the resident state of the child.

 

[4pumpkins]

I didn't go back and read your post so...


were you told 2 years ago what to do? You have to realize that time is not on your side in this type of issue and 2 years is a long time for this sort of situation. That 2 years might have been the difference between being able to challenge paternity and not being able to.

I suspect your ex has no right to contest paternity due to the time and divorce without making an issue of it at that time.


the state having jurisdiction is the resident state of the child.

Yes, we were, and due to paperwork error or hospital error us filing to be sure ex wasn't on the birth record did not go through and he was listed on the birth record.

I wish NJ understood that, but they seem to be wanting to push us back to filing a bunch of stuff in PA, which makes no sense to me, either.

Ex has no interest in contesting paternity, he doesn't pay support or parent her so it doesn't bother him that his name is on the birth certificate. He is distrustful of the courts and doesn't want to deal with it. Her biological father wants to challenge it. We so far have been told it shouldn't be an issue, they just don't really have procedures in place for this.

Thanks!

 

[justalayman]

4pumpkins;3150894]Yes, we were, and due to paperwork error or hospital error us filing to be sure ex wasn't on the birth record did not go through and he was listed on the birth record.

Your husband would be the presumed father. Many states place the spouse of the mother as the legal father.

Ex has no interest in contesting paternity, he doesn't pay support or parent her so it doesn't bother him that his name is on the birth certificate. He is distrustful of the courts and doesn't want to deal with it. Her biological father wants to challenge it. We so far have been told it shouldn't be an issue, they just don't really have procedures in place for this.

yes, there is a process in place for contesting paternity for the bio-father but it may be too late. Bio father has to file suit to disestablish paternity of your ex and to establish himself as the father.

 

[stealth2]

Reading the other thread is interesting, btw...