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Disowning Adult Child

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PQN

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

BackgroundOur adult daughter is severly mentally ill. We adopted her from foster care when she was in primary school. She spent her teen years in a series of Residential Treatment Centers for children with severe mental illness and extreme violence issues. We visited frequently and did all we could to ensure she got the best available treatment. She was doing better for a while but is now back where she started with the delusional thinking, violent outbursts, etc.

We have standby guardianship for our younger children so that she cannot get custody of them if something happened to us. Our wills have been written to specifically limit what she will inherit with the remainder of our estate being split between the other children.

Our concern is other situations where a 'next of kin' assumes authority (medical decision if we are incapcitated, etc). Since she is our oldest, and only adult child at this time, it looks like she is the legal 'next of kin'. We are working on POAs to give our parents health and financial power if necessary.

QuestionWhile she was a minor child, there was no way we were going to walk away from her. Now that she is an adult, is there a way to terminate our legal relationship with her?
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

BackgroundOur adult daughter is severly mentally ill. We adopted her from foster care when she was in primary school. She spent her teen years in a series of Residential Treatment Centers for children with severe mental illness and extreme violence issues. We visited frequently and did all we could to ensure she got the best available treatment. She was doing better for a while but is now back where she started with the delusional thinking, violent outbursts, etc.

We have standby guardianship for our younger children so that she cannot get custody of them if something happened to us. Our wills have been written to specifically limit what she will inherit with the remainder of our estate being split between the other children.

Our concern is other situations where a 'next of kin' assumes authority (medical decision if we are incapcitated, etc). Since she is our oldest, and only adult child at this time, it looks like she is the legal 'next of kin'. We are working on POAs to give our parents health and financial power if necessary.

QuestionWhile she was a minor child, there was no way we were going to walk away from her. Now that she is an adult, is there a way to terminate our legal relationship with her?

You can exclude her from your will and the financial aspects of your lives but outside of an adult adoption she is and will remain your daughter.

With your daughter's mental issues it would seem unlikely that any court would award her any type of custody of your minor children.

Even if your parents eventually end up with POA, she may be able to contest.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
That is our fear.
I think its not very likely that she could contest a POA. Its possible, but not very likely, particularly if you sign it when you are clearly of sound mind.

POAs that get contested are POAs that are issued in questionable circumstances.
 

xylene

Senior Member
You plan to seems sound. Have a lawyer on speed dial. Get the POA all set.

Choose another person as well as your parents to act in you behalf as a backup.

Make sure daughters problems are known in the even of an emergency.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Make sure daughters problems are known in the event of an emergency.
Not just known, but documented. The attorney and the selected guardians should have all the necessary documentation (whatever they can have within the context of HIPAA).
 

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