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Elderly parents

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Ginakuykendall

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. missouri
My dad is 77 years old and has Parkinson's and early stages if dementia after my mom passed away my dad remarried. Now his wife has moved him to Missouri and put him in a nursing home
She has giving her daughters full power of attorney over my dad.
My dad is now in this nursing home and his wife or her daughters never goes and sees my dad so he is all alone there. I try to go visit when I can. It is 300 plus miles from where I live to where he is. The wife sits back and collects my dads pension checks and my dad has nothing.
The nursing home can't even get the wife or daughters to give them any information so they can file for my dads Medicare.
I want to bring my dad back home to be close to me and his family. Is there anything I can do to get this done?
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
You would have to file in court for guardianship of your father but this is an uphill battle since his wife is the next of kin.
 

commentator

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. missouri
his wife has moved him to Missouri and put him in a nursing home
She has giving her daughters full power of attorney over my dad.
My dad is now in this nursing home and his wife or her daughters never goes and sees my dad so he is all alone there.The wife sits back and collects my dads pension checks and my dad has nothing.
The nursing home can't even get the wife or daughters to give them any information so they can file for my dads Medicare. I want to bring my dad back home to be close to me and his family. Is there anything I can do to get this done?
This is bizarre. Dad's wife couldn't "put him in a nursing home" and sit back and collect his pension. Nursing homes cost money. They are very very interested in getting paid. They can take the pensions, the medicare, the assets, and they will. Your dad has "nothing" because he is in a nursing facility and needs nothing except the payment for his care. I think you need to get a little more familiar with the situation before you take any kind of action.

Even if you managed to wrestle power of attorney for your father away from his wife, which is going to be really difficult to do, considering they are not providing his care, he is in a skilled nursing facility, so he is not being mistreated or uncared for, but even if you managed to do that, you'd have to bring him to be close to you and his family, and most likely put him in another care facility closer to you. Maybe his wife would be open to doing this anyway. But with serious conditions, it is unlikely that you will be able to care for him as he is now without yourself putting him in a nursing home. Maybe you'd visit more, but then, while he was healthy and cognizant, he chose the people who would be with him when he was not, didn't he?
 
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I'mTheFather

Senior Member
This is bizarre. Dad's wife couldn't "put him in a nursing home" and sit back and collect his pension. Nursing homes cost money. They are very very interested in getting paid. They can take the pensions, the medicare, the assets, and they will.
OP didn't provide enough information to assume this. Perhaps her father has a long-term care insurance policy.
Your dad has "nothing" because he is in a nursing facility and needs nothing except the payment for his care. I think you need to get a little more familiar with the situation before you take any kind of action.
Have you ever had a loved one in a nursing home?
Even if you managed to wrestle power of attorney for your father away from his wife, which is going to be really difficult to do, considering they are not providing his care, he is in a skilled nursing facility, so he is not being mistreated or uncared for, but even if you managed to do that, you'd have to bring him to be close to you and his family, and most likely put him in another care facility closer to you.
This may not be at all the case. Without knowing the extent of the man's Parkinson's and dementia, one can't say.
Maybe his wife would be open to doing this anyway. But with serious conditions, it is unlikely that you will be able to care for him as he is now without yourself putting him in a nursing home. Maybe you'd visit more, but then, while he was healthy and cognizant, he chose the people who would be with him when he was not, didn't he?
 

commentator

Senior Member
Not only have I had close family members in skilled care facilities I have also worked with these facilities getting payment for people in them through social services and I am very familiar with the ins and outs of financing health care. While the OP's father may have been one of those extremely well off and rare birds who has faithfully paid the ungodly premiums for long term care and has actually got it, they would still be using his Medicare for his health care provision. I suspect from what is being said that the father has used up his Medicare time in the facility and they are trying to get someone to begin on the process of having him pauperized and transferring him to Medicaid when all his assets are exhausted. And they will follow through and do this, whether or not the stepmother cooperates.
 
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