Originally posted by Jodie104 Thanks for you comments---but I personally could not adopt my child out. Biological parents are "REAL" Parents too.
Have you thought of how adoption makes a child feel? Unwanted, unloved, tons of unanswered questions.
How would I feel----where is my child? Looking at every child and wondering is that my child? No this isn't an option for me.
I feel If there is a will there is a way. I realize I am young, and have a lot to learn about life. But I love this baby that I'm caring inside me and no one can take it from me.
Since my last post, my father has signed custody of me over to my grandmother's custody. I realize she isn't financially able to take on me & my child. But she is willing to help me and in return I help her by doing her errands, housework, etc...to pay for my stay. As soon as my child is born, I plan to get a job again and continue my education as I stated in my last post.
I thought that is what family does, help one another.
Do you spend $500 a month on each of your children? I'd like to know where you work, I'd like to pursue a career in that direction.
I came from a mixed family of 7 children and I can guarantee my parents didn't spend 3500.00 a month on us. But granted although they didn't, we still had food, clothing, shleter and extra's that we wanted.
Do you know how much a hospital bill is after having a child? Healthy baby is close to $5,000.
Diapers...cheap ones $4.99/pack BUT they don't absorb as much, so you use more. You will use about 3 packs a week at first, maybe more.
Baby wipes- these can get expensive too. About $4 pack more in many places.
Formula, if your baby is healthy, runs about $12/can. Newborns will average about 10 cans a month, maybe more.
Clothing...well that is actually up to you.
Health insurance- this varies but you will not be offered health insurance right away at any job you take. There is usually a probationary period. We pay $192/month for a family of 4. And no to figure the premium you don't take $192 and divide it by 4 to find out how much insurance will be for your child.
Daycare- this can run you about $600+ for an infant.
Last year I spent the following on ONE child.
medical expenses plus insurance premiums-$12,940
That runs about $1164/month and that isn't including anything like food, activities. etc.
Now my DH"s family raised 6 boys one year on only $1500. FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR! They did it, but I will tell you it took alot of work. Sewing, gardening, no going out, no movies, no extras etc.
And most of all the did it with NO WELFARE!
So if you plan on raising this child on your own, you can't be on welfare (not saying it is wrong, just making a point) and you have to pay for everything yourself. Don't leave it up to grandma.
Also you need to make sure you aren't going to screw up grandma's benefits by moving in with her with a dependant and bringing in extra income.
YOu need to file for child support too, so you can get some help.
Oh and my most important tip, IF you are thinking of leaving your child with your grandmother while you work and go to school, I will attempt to report you to CPS. Your grandmother doesn't need nor has the ability to take care of a newborn for 8+ hours a day.
Now with all that said, when you post about how adoptee's feel, I would suggest you shut your mouth unless you are speaking from experience.
I am adopted and not once have I felt all the things you state adoptee's feel!
You said, "How would I feel----where is my child? Looking at every child and wondering is that my child? No this isn't an option for me."
This is a selfish reason to not place a child with a family!
Oh and your parents not spending that much money on you and your siblings. Do you know that for a fact? Have you seen any credit card bills? Have they ever had to remortgage their home for you? etc.
And if you are not emancipated and your parents are so wonderful, why aren't you living with them?
"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."