• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Evicting sister from parents house

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

bogeyputter

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My sister and her husband and 4 children have lived in my parents home rent free for at least the last 20 years. Our mother recently passed and dad is getting worse off on a daily basis. (dementia). My oldest brother has a some form of a general power of attorney to act on dads behalf on matters. The bottom line here is: My dad took out a reverse mortgage about 5 years ago. It is our understanding that if neither mom or dad live in the house it must be sold. (In one year or less.) Our plan (everyone except little sister and her family) is to move dad into a full time care facility. Once we do that, how do we get her out of the house? it will likely take 3-4 months of repairing damage to the house b4 we can even show it and we believe all she will do is hamper us. Is there any pertinent info you may need to help sort this out? We could build a case for elderly abuse if we need to.
 


bogeyputter

Junior Member
She would say yes, the rest of us say no. Me and 4 brothers and one other sister. She leaves him home unwatched frequently, doesn't prepare meals for him, lets him go unshowered and unshaven, etc. We have a local meals on wheels deliver his lunch and unless I or another sibling takes him out, than thats all he gets. She does do his laundry I believe. Thursday she called me and my eldest brother and my nephew to see who could take him for the weekend because they were going out of town. My nephew took him. When he brought him home this morning, little sister had a stranger sleeping in dads bed. Sister lives in an "alternate" lifestyle and does some of the most bizarre things, none of which a relevant to our problem.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
If your brother has power of attorney he is the one who has the most abilty to do something.

He may have to legally evict your sister and her family from the home if it has to be sold.

However, looking at it from your sister's point of view, its been her and her family's home for 20 years, and she has cared for your parents to one extent or the other, even if she did it poorly.

Also, you have to consider the source of your information. There are 4 of us in my family and while my dad was in early onset Alzheimers he complained bitterly about how our mother treated him. My youngest brother bought into that and got very ugly with his complaints about our mother. He was very embarrised later on when he realized just how bad/difficult dad really was.

My 70ish Mom couldn't physically force my 6.2 ft 250 pound dad into the tub or shower...she had to persuade and cajol...and she was lucky if she managed it every three or four days. Its extremely difficult to care for a parent or spouse with dementia, particularly if they are stronger and bigger than you are.

So, take that into consideration with your sister. I am not saying that I know for certain that she is doing the best that she can or that she is not being abusive/neglectful. I only know that its not easy at all, and that someone looking from the outside in, may form an incorrect impression.

Imagine having a toddler who is as big or bigger than you are, and then you might understand how difficult it could be.

I miss my daddy desparately, but I didn't understand just how much of a toll it took on my mother until after he passed away.
 

bogeyputter

Junior Member
Our information comes from observances by all of us and consider it pretty reliable. I would love to get into particulars about the whole situation, but it would take me hours to list the extent of damage and amount of debt sister and her hubby and kids have created in mom and dads name. Last count had it over $25k+ in cash. Then the repairs to an otherwise very nice home. At any rate, the POA brother has, (I spoke to him a little bit ago) gives him control over all property and financial matters. He is also executer of dads will. Which brings up another issue. Dad has said several times when he was of better mind and comprehension that sister has used up her inheritance. He said that to me and my wife and eldest brother too. So does that hold any water when the will itself only states the estate to be divided up as the executor sees fit? There is also a clause in the will that states if anybody challenges the will, then that person shall receive the sum of $1 only. I'm sorry all, just alot of bitter feelings built up over years. Not just me either, but the whole brood.
 

BlondiePB

Senior Member
Our information comes from observances by all of us and consider it pretty reliable. I would love to get into particulars about the whole situation, but it would take me hours to list the extent of damage and amount of debt sister and her hubby and kids have created in mom and dads name. Last count had it over $25k+ in cash. Then the repairs to an otherwise very nice home. At any rate, the POA brother has, (I spoke to him a little bit ago) gives him control over all property and financial matters. He is also executer of dads will. Which brings up another issue. Dad has said several times when he was of better mind and comprehension that sister has used up her inheritance. He said that to me and my wife and eldest brother too. So does that hold any water when the will itself only states the estate to be divided up as the executor sees fit? There is also a clause in the will that states if anybody challenges the will, then that person shall receive the sum of $1 only. I'm sorry all, just alot of bitter feelings built up over years. Not just me either, but the whole brood.
There is no inheritance until someone dies.

Learn what is a "vulnerable adult" to detemine whether your parents have been financially exploited. The moment she receives an eviction notice, the rest of y'all need to seriously consider taking turns or having one of you move into dad's room with permission of the POA. Moving into dad's room when he is moved to a nursing home or Assisted Living Facility would be even better.

Sis is going to be very upset about being evicted & may do a lot of damage to the home. Do check into Assisted Living. Dad sounds like he could be placed there rather than a nursing home.
 

justalayman

Senior Member
one thing you must understand though;

if dad is capable of making decisions, POAbro cannot override dads wishes.

I understand you say dementia is obvious but it may take a doctors opinion and a courts order to remove dads ability to make decisions.
 

bogeyputter

Junior Member
We are in the process of checking a couple assisted living places and hope to have one chosen by the end of the week. Looks like it's time to define "vulnerable adult". And brace for an upcoming confrontation. Dad's dementia is to the point of "untreatable" according to his doctor.
 
Last edited:

nextwife

Senior Member
However, looking at it from your sister's point of view, its been her and her family's home for 20 years, and she has cared for your parents to one extent or the other, even if she did it poorly.

Also, you have to consider the source of your information. There are 4 of us in my family and while my dad was in early onset Alzheimers he complained bitterly about how our mother treated him. My youngest brother bought into that and got very ugly with his complaints about our mother. He was very embarrised later on when he realized just how bad/difficult dad really was.

My 70ish Mom couldn't physically force my 6.2 ft 250 pound dad into the tub or shower...she had to persuade and cajol...and she was lucky if she managed it every three or four days. Its extremely difficult to care for a parent or spouse with dementia, particularly if they are stronger and bigger than you are.

So, take that into consideration with your sister.

The alternative interpretation could be that sis and her hubby have been leaching off the parents for two decades, rather than moving on and becoming fully self sufficient adults with their OWN home.

The property WILL need to be sold to comply with the reverse mtgs terms. Should sis and her hubby wish to stay put, there is an easy remedy for that. THEY buy the home at fair market price, and the reverse mtg gets paid off. Everyone happy! Surely, if sis and hubby were mtg free (and maybe rent free) for 20 YEARS, in theory,they should be in good shape financially to buy the house. Think of all those housing payments neither of them had to make all those years..
 

bogeyputter

Junior Member
The alternative interpretation could be that sis and her hubby have been leaching off the parents for two decades, rather than moving on and becoming fully self sufficient adults with their OWN home.

The property WILL need to be sold to comply with the reverse mtgs terms. Should sis and her hubby wish to stay put, there is an easy remedy for that. THEY buy the home at fair market price, and the reverse mtg gets paid off. Everyone happy! Surely, if sis and hubby were mtg free (and maybe rent free) for 20 YEARS, in theory,they should be in good shape financially to buy the house. Think of all those housing payments neither of them had to make all those years..
That is how the whole situation is been interpreted. Never made a rent/mortgage payment. We have called them "squatters" in the past. The worst is that, no, they have no money in the bank. Instead they owe thousands to dad and have very bad credit too. In todays housing market the couldn't qualify for a low end foreclosure.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top