Evil Daycare

Maine
Please help. My daycare told me on Friday that unless I sign a paper allowing my child to be "observed" by social services, I would have to give my notice and discontinue my use of their services. They said that my son needed to be observed because he was unusually agressive. However, this is the first time I heard that my son was agressive at all. No one has ever complained about him before. My question is, would my daycare (they are non profit) stand to gain anything from allowing social services to observe my child (i.e. legal kickbacks, such as grants) and are their any legal repercussions I can take?

[JETX]

"would my daycare (they are non profit) stand to gain anything from allowing social services to observe my child (i.e. legal kickbacks, such as grants)"
*** No.

"and are their any legal repercussions I can take?"
*** Yes. You can find another daycare for your child. If you mean a legal 'cause of action' against the daycare, no.

[nextwife]

AS a parent of a child with an IEP who dealt with a number of post-institutional behavior issues at day care, WHY would you NOT want to work WITH your child's daycare in addressing behavior concerns? If your child is displaying behaviors that need to be modified, the sooner you start obtaining feedback and input from professionsals, the better your results. We as parents are not necessarilly able to step back and see our child unemotionally and in an unbiased way. Utilize ALL resources to help your child with whatever is causing the aggession. The day care will not be the only ones that will have an issue with such behaviors, you'd better start addressing this now, or you will find yourselves unable to utilize day care at all.

What have YOU offered daycare as an alternative way to work together with them to stop the aggressive outbursts?

[stealth2]

I'm betting they've seen something that they feel comes from some type of abuse. In which case, SS is going to be a factor regardless. I'd seriously consider consulting with an attorney before signing anything.

My child is two years old. TWO! If your are just going to be rude in response to this, please don't bother answering this. By the way, I did consult someone regarding my sons behavior. A child Psychologist who has been working with children for over 25 years. Not only did he tell me that my child was behaving perfectly normally for someone his age, he also said that two years old is almost always too early to begin any kind of therapy. I am not asking what you think of my sons mental health or my decision to not put him into therapy. I am asking if my Daycare stands to gain anything from having him observed.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by slaroc2002

My child is two years old. TWO! If your are just going to be rude in response to this, please don't bother answering this. By the way, I did consult someone regarding my sons behavior. A child Psychologist who has been working with children for over 25 years. Not only did he tell me that my child was behaving perfectly normally for someone his age, he also said that two years old is almost always too early to begin any kind of therapy. I am not asking what you think of my sons mental health or my decision to not put him into therapy. I am asking if my Daycare stands to gain anything from having him observed.

Who was rude?

[Grace_Adler]

There is no way I would do it either and don't sign anything without consulting a lawyer. Start researching your rights now. Find another daycare. Daycare workers are not professionals and neither are CPS workers. Most workers are young, inexperienced, have no children, no experience or degree in psychology, sociology or child rearing for either job. You can work for CPS here with only 6 months of training. Wow! That's really impressive to make serious and personal judgment calls on children. There is also a high turnover rate with both jobs. Daycare workers get even less training.

They've got this "list" they go by that has "signs" of abuse. Did you know they consider allergies and asthma signs of abuse? I kid you not- it is in the manual for the state I live in. That is just total BS! I wonder how many have even picked up a book about child rearing and children. I wonder how many have a BA or BS in psychology or sociology or how much experience in being around children and raising them.

Did you ask the daycare what this "aggressive" behavior is? I mean, for example, if he were biting other kids or hitting them for taking his toy, while it isn't good or appropriate, some kids just do that and it is not signs of abuse or something wrong with the child.

I don't mean to step on any toes but in my opinion, none of them are professionals. I think they should have their own kids, have a Master's in Sociology or Psychology and have several years experience in this field, especially with children and child rearing before they can be considered professionals.

If you want to get a decent job in sociology or as a psychologist, you have to have a Master's or at least a Bachelor's. So how come with 6 months of training, SS workers are considered professionals with no kids, young, and no experience? In my opinion, they shouldn't be. Not the people who fall into the category I listed with no solid background in any of it.

I don't trust them anyway because they get money to remove children from their homes. I especially don't trust them after researching these sites and others and looking at their adoption site that looks reminds me of a dating service. Nor the fact that foster parents get paid when it is supposed to be a VOLUNTARY service. Not to mention the fact that once they take your child away, you're lucky to see them once a week for a couple of hours. And what about all the children that are abused and die in foster care and adoptive homes? Like I said, not to step on any toes but that's just my opinion on it.

Sorry, I don't trust CPS and the whole system is screwed up and needs to be revamped. I have done some research on them and even did a persuasive speech on CPS. Anyway, that's my opinion and I agree with your psychologist 100%. He's probably being a normal toddler. Most of them do display aggression at that age, especially when they don't get their way. I'm sorry but I feel like if there was something going on, you would have noticed it.

As far as they're concerned- who's to say what is abnormal and what's not? Who's to say there isn't some other underlying factor besides abuse? What are they basing his aggression on? What are they comparing it too? What makes their opinions right? What standards are they using? These are some things to consider. I guess everyone nowadays thinks that textbooks have all the answers. Like I said IF he were acting unusually agressive, there could be other factors involved but everyone is always so quick to scream abuse and get CPS involved, especially when they don't need to be. He could just be tired and stressed out and can't express himself any other way. Daycare can make children aggressive too. Could be something medical. Could be a number of things. Observing him for like an hour or whatever for a few days, or however they do it, isn't going to tell anyone much. Maybe the problem is with the daycare. After all, he's only displaying the behavior there. Children will get aggressive with other kids too. Like I said, the list could go on and on.

Sorry, I'm just very passionate about this subject and after researching them, I'd hate to see the wrong people get involved and rip your child out of your life. That is so traumatic. I read poems and saw pictures that kids wrote and drew that were taken from their parents, on allegations that were not substantiated and it broke my heart. I don't want to see more of this happen if there is no need in it.

The following sites are enough to make anyone paranoid. But there are true stories in here and I wouldn't want anyone to become another statistic when they don't need to be.

Like I said, I'd listen to your psychologist, he is more of a professional then they are.

I don't think they have anything to gain per say as far as money. They are required by law to report anything they consider "suspicous" to CPS, as far as I know. But the bad thing is, everyone has a different perception of what that is and in this case, could be totally unsubstantiated. Some people's "perceptions" of abuse are way off in my book, like CPS's for example. Most people who report others to CPS are child care givers, teachers, people who work with the law, medical professionals, bitter ex's and other people who may have an axe to grind with you.

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