Ex Trying to get full custody - Please Help!!!

[nocages4me]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Virginia
My ex and I went to court yesterday for a child support hearing. She thinks I got a huge pay raise when actually my pay was cut (Mortgage business). We went into the courtroom for the hearing and she blurts out that she now wants full legal and physical custody of our 2 kids (age 8 & 6). We currently have joint legal and physical (1 week on 1 week off alternating on Monday's). The children have always lived in my house and go to school in my district. She is seeking a change in custody because my new wife also has an 8 year old son and she told the judge that he picks on my 2 kids. Which the don't always get along but they are 3 kids aged 8,8 and 6. What does she expect. Also my new wife and I are expecting ourselves and I feel that she is being vendictive because of that. The judge was on my side at the hearing but of course now we have to go to a full trial in 3 months. What can I do to prepare myself? I know I need an attorney but I don't have 10K for an attorney either.
I have been paying $200 per month since we split up. I have always paid her 2 weeks before it is due and have never missed one single payment. I also pay 100% of the medical insurance for both children. We have the kids 50-50 do I have any legal fight against paying support when we have the 50-50 and I pay more? Or am I plain screwed because she will not apply herself and get a better paying job which she had in the past, 1 month before mediation she quit and took a lower paying job for reasons unknow to me (I think it was to get more supprt). I have given her over $30,000 to buy her out of the house, paid her car off when she moved out and took all of the mutual marriage debt which was mostly hers.
As for the housing situation my home is far better than hers. Her boyfriend smokes in the house when the kids are there, but as far as I know he is good to them which is all I care about. I have a feeling that she badmouths me in front of the kids but of course I can't prove it. The court has also assigned a Guardian at Litem (sp?) is their anything that I can or should do when I speak with him about this situation? I can't bear the thought of losing my kids. Please help, any and all advice is appreciated.

Thanks,
nocages4me

[Tallrat]

Yes you will need a lawyer. Most magistrates know all about the venom that spews from both couples mouths. If you have a lawyer she will not be able to dictate anything. When talking to anyone in the court system, refrain from badmouthing, show them what you have done to be a good father. Don't give her evil eye in court, they notice those things. Let her be as b*tchy as she wants to be but you be cool. Keep new wife out of things as much as possible and tell wife not to engage in arguments with ex. Let your lawyer do his job and be very willing to agree to small requests. Like the saying, Dont sweat the small stuff