Father taking sole income from family

[Lucian_Adonis]

State: Texas

My name is Austin and as everyone here I was hoping for some help of anykind...

Currently my family which is... (2 adults, 3 minors, 1 adult dependant [eldest child])
We run off of a sole income of my Fathers employment...

He makes roughly (from what I have been run around on) $30,000/year...

His monthly paycheck goes into a joint account under both his and my Mothers names.
My Mother manages the mother from there.
All bills (seriously all but like a credit card and one or two other things) as well as mine and my siblings college funds are set to draft off of that account.

On Thursday, July 17th of this year (2008) he 'left my Mom a note' (My Mom is seriously somewhat frightened to talk to my Father for various reasons)

The note stated...

[My mothers name], I've reluctantly decided to transfer my paycheck into my [personal] account. It shouldnt never have come to this but I feel I have no other option. I'll let you know when the transfer will become effective...

My Father has NEVER (even before he fathered 5 children) handled the money...
Suddenly he wishes to take it all into his personal savings account.

If he does so, all the bills, college funds, and anything else on draft will bounce and my Mother (and father stupidly...) will be lefted with MANY legal issues...

Myself (the second oldest child) my Mother, and my older brother are fear that my Father is preparing to pick up and leave...
In doing so he will be stripping my family of its sole source of income...

My older brother is currently looking for work, but at this point in time will be unable to support my family, my Mother is looking for employment but is having severe issues with finding anyone who will hire her, and I myself cannot now seek employment further due to needing to watch my two younger siblings...



If infact my Father does take away our sole source of income and leave (we are unsure as what his plans are as he doesn't speak to my Mother at all...)

...is there anyway to find legal assistance for this situation?

My Mother will need to file divorce but who knows what will come of it...and eventually my Father will need to pay child support but we won't have the money to deal with such court issues that will insue from my father...


My family NEEDS another way out.

Are there any laws that will protect us from my Father doing this?
Or something, anything that will portect us from getting in dept and getting into legal trouble for not paying bills because he stole away our sole source of income?



Any help that can be provided will be VERY appriciated and thank you very much in advance.


Thanks;
--Austin

 

[CourtClerk]

Sorry, we don't discuss these issues with children. This is an issue between your mother and your father. Period.

 

[Silverplum]

OP is building quite the sad/scary history.

 

[Lucian_Adonis]

Sorry, we don't discuss these issues with children. This is an issue between your mother and your father. Period.

I'm sorry, you apperently don't understand what is going on and why I myself am seeking out answers.

As a part of the family with these issues I am more than entitled to seek out the answers I need in order to keep my family from being decimated by the incompetency of my Father.

Yes, I agree, it SHOULD be between my Mother and my Father.
BUT!
They don't talk.

My Mom is afraid to talk to him and he will not come and talk to her.

We cannot afford legal help,
we have no backup financial plan,
there is no one for my family to turn too...


I am 17 years of age, I will turn 18 on January 2nd...
I am by no means a 'child' and will not be spoken to as one.


My Mom has things she MUST deal with, RIGHT NOW.
My older brother has things he MUST deal with, RIGHT NOW.

As to divide the tasks that needed performing I took it upon myself to seek out these answers as they are vital to keeping my family together.


I apologize that you believe that I (as a minor) shouldn't have any part in this, but seeing as my Father refuses to interact with us, is threatening to put my family in the hole God knows how much, and there is little to no way out of it happening...

I WILL press this matter.

If you have some sort of information for me, again, I would greatly appriciative to be informed as such.



So no, it is not between my Father and my Mother, It should be, yes, but it's not.

So are you seriously going to label me a child and refuse to help me because I am four and a half months shy of my 18th birthday?

Do you really put 'legal matters' on such a high-horse?

I am perfectly capable of simply gathering/recieving this information and taking it to the attention of my Mother.
It is not like I am trying to go behind her back and cure things...
This is for the stability of my family as completely as it can be and I am taking great offence to your statement against my request simply because I am not a legal adult.

So I ask again...
Please, if there is anything that can be shown to me that could help my family I REALLY need to know it.


Thank you;
--Austin

 

[stealth2]

Son, even if you were 4 1/2 months shy of turning 28, I (and others) wouldn't help you. This is a fight for your mother to take on. Period. Give her the url and tell her to create her own account. Once she does so and asks for input, we'll be more than happy to see what possibilities are available.

The reason we won't help is because we won't help a parent pit their child against the other parent. I can guarantee that there is much more to this situation than you are aware of.

 

[Lucian_Adonis]

My mother has things like getting a job to support our family to deal with.

As I said, I am doing this so that my Mother can worry abouit the things she has to right at this second. The sooner that i have this information the easier it will be for my family to get off to a good start when my Father pulls out.

And no, she isn't pitting her children against our Father, he did that himself.

He did that when he threatened to divorce her because she made him a sandwich instead of a steak.
He did that when he didn't confront his parents about trying to poison my older brother.

He did it by far of his own accord.
And by everything that he has done that doesn't apply to this particular situation I could be acting very rashly.

But no, I decided to seek out legal guidence for this situation because my family is being messed up and ripped apart and I am the only one who isn't able to help in any way but find potential solutions for the future.

That is what I am doing.

My Mom does not have the time to come here and do this otherwise I would tell her to.
My brother is a legal adult, but he doesnt have time either and has many things he needs to be doing like his own legal issues.


I am here because no one else can be.


And again, she isn't pitting us against him.
She doesn't want us to hate him, she just wants to be able to make him happy, and support her family.

THAT is what she wants.

I can guarantee that there is much more to this situation than you are aware of.

No, you cannot guarentee that.
I have no doubt that there is, but no, you can't...

Here is an issue I addressed earlier..

My Father WILL NOT INTERACT WITH MY MOTHER!
Thus being that HE won't tell my Mom everything.

She fills myself and my older brother in because if she cannot support us all he and I will have to go and find support elsewhere, otherwise my Fathers parents will find a way to get custody of my younger siblings.


You NEED to see that I am not coming here and asking these things because it was the first thought in my mind, it is because it is one of our last options, and I myself am doing it because it is one of our last options.

PLEASE!
SEE THIS!!!

 

[CourtClerk]

This is not the forum for you. So, act like the adult you think you are and go find your answers elsewhere because you have been told that we will not advise children regarding issues about their parents.

That's the MATURE thing to do. So, at this point, say thank you for your time and move on. We will not assist you, no matter how big of a tantrum to have.

 

[stealth2]

My mother has things like getting a job to support our family to deal with.

As I said, I am doing this so that my Mother can worry abouit the things she has to right at this second. The sooner that i have this information the easier it will be for my family to get off to a good start when my Father pulls out.

Your mother has to deal with the same things that any other adult with children who is in the midst of divorce has to deal with. Same things I - and many others here - have had to deal with. And still do.

When *I* was going through it, I did my own legwork, even if it meant staying up half the night and getting up to go to work the next day, taking care of my kids, then getting back to doing my own research when they were in bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. That's what adults do. They do NOT recruit their children to do what they should be doing themselves.

And no, she isn't pitting her children against our Father, he did that himself.

He did that when he threatened to divorce her because she made him a sandwich instead of a steak.
He did that when he didn't confront his parents about trying to poison my older brother.

He did it by far of his own accord.
And by everything that he has done that doesn't apply to this particular situation I could be acting very rashly.

Like I said - I guarantee there is more to this situation than you know. Or that your mother has decided to inform you of.

But no, I decided to seek out legal guidence for this situation because my family is being messed up and ripped apart and I am the only one who isn't able to help in any way but find potential solutions for the future.

That is what I am doing.

Let's see.... your Mom isn't working. So why can't she watch her younger children while you go out and work to help with your expenses?

My Mom does not have the time to come here and do this otherwise I would tell her to.

Yeah, she does. Sorry, but she does.

My brother is a legal adult, but he doesnt have time either and has many things he needs to be doing like his own legal issues.

I wouldn't help him, either. He's still the child from the marriage. It is not his place to get in the middle.

I am here because no one else can be.

Sorry, but I don't buy that.

And again, she isn't pitting us against him.

If this were true, she wouldn't be involving you.

No, you cannot guarentee that.
I have no doubt that there is, but no, you can't...

Uuuh, yeah, I can.

Here is an issue I addressed earlier..

My Father WILL NOT INTERACT WITH MY MOTHER!
Thus being that HE won't tell my Mom everything.

He's under no obligation to.

She fills myself and my older brother in because if she cannot support us all he and I will have to go and find support elsewhere, otherwise my Fathers parents will find a way to get custody of my younger siblings.

Both of you are old enough to have p/t jobs to help cover your expenses. Yes, I know the economy's bad. But there ARE jobs available. And with three of you unemployed, any one of you could be watching the other kids (how old are they, btw?).

You NEED to see that I am not coming here and asking these things because it was the first thought in my mind, it is because it is one of our last options, and I myself am doing it because it is one of our last options.

PLEASE!
SEE THIS!!!

Sigh...

 

[Lucian_Adonis]

This is not the forum for you. So, act like the adult you think you are and go find your answers elsewhere because you have been told that we will not advise children regarding issues about their parents.

That's the MATURE thing to do. So, at this point, say thank you for your time and move on. We will not assist you, no matter how big of a tantrum to have.

If you are so much more mature than me, then tell me where the hell I am supposed to go for help if you all are not going to help me in anyway at all.

And I am very put off by your manner fo dealing.
i am not a child, but you are acting very snobby.
So why don't you stop being a hypocrite and telling me to be mature when you can't just point me in a good direction instead of telling me since I am a 'minor' that there isn't anything I can do.


Thank you, now if you aren't going to help me, quit posting in my thread.

Your mother has to deal with the same things that any other adult with children who is in the midst of divorce has to deal with. Same things I - and many others here - have had to deal with. And still do.

When *I* was going through it, I did my own legwork, even if it meant staying up half the night and getting up to go to work the next day, taking care of my kids, then getting back to doing my own research when they were in bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. That's what adults do. They do NOT recruit their children to do what they should be doing themselves.

She didn't 'recruit' her children.
Her children decided to help because we feel she shouldn't have to deal with everything.
Wouldn't you have liked to have some help?

Yeah, We aren't helpless.
We can help.
My only issue is how these 'supposed' mature adults are refusing to at least tell me where to look for help.

Like I said - I guarantee there is more to this situation than you know. Or that your mother has decided to inform you of.

Like I said - you cannot guarentee that. My Mother isn't the one holding info back from me and my brother. My father is.
Thank you.

Let's see.... your Mom isn't working. So why can't she watch her younger children while you go out and work to help with your expenses?

She is looking into getting a job.
She has a college degree, she can get a better job than I can (as a minor) and my brother is also looking for a job.
My two younger brothers (13 and 10) cannot be left here alone and there is nowhere we can take them to be watched over while I work also.
So I have to watch them while my Mom and brother work.

Yeah, she does. Sorry, but she does.

Are you watching my family?
Do you know everything?
No, you don't, so stop making statements like you do. You don't know EVERYTHING she is doing and how she does or does not have time.

I wouldn't help him, either. He's still the child from the marriage. It is not his place to get in the middle.

What do you not get about how my Father won;t help this situation?
Myself and my Brother are watching out for our Mom and our brothers, We need to.
So yes, we NEED to get in the middle.

Sorry, but I don't buy that.

Again, do you know everything about my family?
No, you don't...

If this were true, she wouldn't be involving you.

She isn't.
As a part of this family,we are trying to take care of it.
That was OUR decision not hers.
Do you have some issue with this?
Should me and my brother sit on our ass' and do nothing because our country believes anyone under 18 is incompetent?
And anyone just over 18 is irrational?

I think you need to reevaluate your stance a bit.

Uuuh, yeah, I can.

Uuuh, no, you can't.
Again I will state, that unless you are stalking my family, You cannot infact guarentee that, Sorry.

He's under no obligation to.

So you think it is alright for him to simply say "well its my money and I
am going to leave you all to rot"...?

Cause that really helps me have faith in the adult population.

Both of you are old enough to have p/t jobs to help cover your expenses. Yes, I know the economy's bad. But there ARE jobs available. And with three of you unemployed, any one of you could be watching the other kids (how old are they, btw?).

That is what I am doing, I am watching them...
My Mom has a college degree, my older brother has a much better resume than me and has held down jobs in the past.

I watch the kids and the house because they will get better jobs and 1 person MUST watch the two younger ones.

I have already covered that.

And again (10 and 13)



Ok,
I am going to state this.


If you are only going to run me around because I am a 'child' or that you think that my parents should deal with it,
get the heck out of this thread, you aren't helping and that is what i came here for, help.


As i said, there is nothing that states you cannot give legal advice to a minor.
You simply choose not to, so I can keep posting here and you all just need to buzz off if you are not going to help me.


Again, Thank you;
--Austin

 

[stealth2]

Dude - at 13 my oldest was watching his sister after school. Your youngest sibling has been in school for - at least 5 years. Mom could (and likely should) have been working p/t for those 5 years. There are lots of things she could do - college degree or not. Sometimes, one takes whatever job they can get, especially when they have kids to support.

And no, I would not allow my kids to "help" me in a situation that was mine to deal with.

Your father is actually showing maturity by NOT sharing anything with you. Your Mom needs to understand that a court will not be impressed with her dragging her kids into this. Because that is what she's doing.

Now - go tell her to register herself and ask her own questions.

 

[fairisfair]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=420657

 

[stealth2]

So give me a goddamn good reason why you arent helping me, the real reason.

Because children should not be involved in the adults' business of divorce.

There is no board "rule" that minors can't be helped, but most of the adults here will not get involved in helping a child when the parent should be here instead. Many will not help any third party, be it grandparent, stepparent, nosy neighbor, etc. Send the adult involved here, and they will get what help can be provided.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am not helping you because I don't help petulant spoiled demanding children who decide to throw tantrums when they don't get their way (umm, yeah YOU Mr.-I am-an-adult-and- demand-help). You say you are mature? You sure as hell haven't acted maturely here. You are proving your immaturity with every post.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

You want to help your mom? How about picking up the slack on things at home so your mom can search for answers herself. Tell her you are willing to do (fill in the blank) so that she can go find a job. We cannot in good conscience help a child be pitted against one parent by another parent.

It is commendable that you want to help your mom. Show her how to search the internet, and then, BUTT OUT. This concerns the parents, NOT you.