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Girlfriend Pregnant with Another Man's Child

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confused_1990

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

My question involves paternity law for the State of: Washington.

My (now) gf and I were together for a year, very much in love. Separated due to our personal issues, for 3 months. We decided to get back together, still very much in love. During this time back together, we found out she became pregnant with another man's child (happened while we separated).

We both want to be together but she is thinking she will be forced to stay with the other man - which she has no feelings for. For the sake of the child. We are looking for solutions as to how we can both protect the child's best interest, I am so lost I'm not even sure what questions to ask.

Should her and the man talk it out like adults and agree there is nothing more between them other than a child? What if that upsets him and he fights for custody, will she not be able to keep the child? I would think the court would allow her since it will be a newborn baby in need of it's mother..
Would it be better for the baby to be raised (even if partially) in a loving relationship vs one where the two parents are together, only for the baby?
Please help and ask any questions, I'm reaching for anything I can grab here.

Thank you.
 


TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

My question involves paternity law for the State of: Washington.

My (now) gf and I were together for a year, very much in love. Separated due to our personal issues, for 3 months. We decided to get back together, still very much in love. During this time back together, we found out she became pregnant with another man's child (happened while we separated).

We both want to be together but she is thinking she will be forced to stay with the other man - which she has no feelings for. For the sake of the child. We are looking for solutions as to how we can both protect the child's best interest, I am so lost I'm not even sure what questions to ask.

Should her and the man talk it out like adults and agree there is nothing more between them other than a child? What if that upsets him and he fights for custody, will she not be able to keep the child? I would think the court would allow her since it will be a newborn baby in need of it's mother..
Would it be better for the baby to be raised (even if partially) in a loving relationship vs one where the two parents are together, only for the baby?
Please help and ask any questions, I'm reaching for anything I can grab here.

Thank you.
You think you're going to get any different answers here than you will down the street? :cool:
 

confused_1990

Junior Member
You think you're going to get any different answers here than you will down the street? :cool:
Ha! Caught me. Sorry I'm just trying to get as many answers and views as I can. Is your answer the same?
Thank you for bringing a bit of lightness to the situation

Do you have suggestions on the steps in which I should go about this?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Ha! Caught me. Sorry I'm just trying to get as many answers and views as I can. Is your answer the same?
Thank you for bringing a bit of lightness to the situation

Do you have suggestions on the steps in which I should go about this?
This really isn't a legal issue for you. Your GF can choose who she wants to be with.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
She is just worried about the baby being taken away from her is all. I wanted to discover some facts to help her out during such a confusing time.
I don't know what you were told "down the street" as I'm pretty much a hermit and stay here. I suspect that you're going to be told the same things here that you were there, though.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
<-- was also "down the street". But more to the point, I'm in Washington.

So I'll reiterate what I said there:

In an initial custody determination both parents stand equal before the court. That means that custody is not a given, for either parent. Their marital status (or lack thereof in this instance) doesn't matter. And yes, Dads can get custody of newborns and can do so without having to prove the mother unfit.
 

confused_1990

Junior Member
<-- was also "down the street". But more to the point, I'm in Washington.

So I'll reiterate what I said there:

In an initial custody determination both parents stand equal before the court. That means that custody is not a given, for either parent. Their marital status (or lack thereof in this instance) doesn't matter. And yes, Dads can get custody of newborns and can do so without having to prove the mother unfit.
Thank you! I think its more so on their part to discuss this issue. Someone else on another forum said "I will say however that staying with him out of duty is not in the best interest of the child - ever." Trying to be as unbiased as possible, but I agree.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
In such a situation, the ideal solution is for both parents to be actively involved in their child's life and random "significant others" to step back.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Thank you! I think its more so on their part to discuss this issue. Someone else on another forum said "I will say however that staying with him out of duty is not in the best interest of the child - ever." Trying to be as unbiased as possible, but I agree.
It was actually me who said that. I don't use the same screen-name everywhere :D
 

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