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gradparents raising child with mental illness

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worriedinwashington

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i am writing from washington state regarding the situation faced by my parents. they have been raising 2 children, one, discovered after birth, not to be their sons child, and another (whom this letter is in regard to) who is.

This child is 14 years old and has been in more trouble than most adults. He was first diagnosed with a.d.d., then a.d.h.d, and finally fetal alcohol effects syndrome. His behavior is getting progressively worse and i fear he is a detriment to the health of my parents, who are in their mid-fifties. criminal reports have been made in regards to his drug abuse, his stealing (too many times to count), and repeatedly running away. he has been placed in 2 drug programs, the most recent one, which was to be a 30 day in house course-he was kicked out of after only 1 1/2 weeks. As adult children who are concerned, we have taken turns, watching him on weekends, only to be stolen from, decieved and lied to by him.

my parents need him out of the house. they are working with various people to help them accomplish this, but everyone seems to be dragging their feet. the first issue was, they had never legally gotten custody of the boy, which they are in the process of now doing.(funny, they've made all decisions in regard to his welfare since he came to live with them at 9 months of age..why the dispute now?)Then at issue was the fact that he is 1/4 native american..this supposedly has some bearing. The police have even minimized his behavior. He is also seeing a counselor, to try to help him. He constantly steals and eats huge amounts of food, and continually picks at his face until it bleeds and scars..and yet those who are supposed to "help" seem to want to just try to "keep the family together".

time doesn't allow me to write the many,many, other concerns that i have but please, i need to know if there are any loopholes or legal means that can be pursued to get him permanently into a shelter, group home, mental treatment facility or somewhere else. his natural parents will not contest..one is incarcerated and the other is on parole, living on the streets. we love this child,but cannot, cannot continue to live like this. my parents home is like a prison. any advice is appreciated. thank-you.
 



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