Harassment by family

[dblake]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Florida

Over the years, my mother has stolen thousands from me, opened accounts under my name, put me in debt, lied to ruin relationships, have me sent to a psychiatric facility, and various other things. When my family feels threatened that they might have lost control over me and my daughter, they do underhanded things and they use my 4 year old as a tool. I've been trying for years to get away from my family.

I finally managed to cut ties a couple weeks ago. When I left, I knew they were going to cause trouble, so I sent my daughter to stay with friends until things blew over as I didn't want her in the middle of the drama. Big mistake, evidently. They called myself and my daughter in as missing persons and claimed that they thought I might have hurt (read "killed") her. I had to drive 4 hours to where my daughter was to take her to a police station and prove that she was okay. I thought it was over then, but no such luck. Now they're screaming improper supervision and sending CPS over. They've also called my main client and told her various lines of bull. Now a huge chunk of my income is gone.

The detective I talked to said I didn't have the right to get a restraining order. I just want to get on with our lives and have a normal little family. Is there anything I can do, or is this just going to be life from now on?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Where is the father of the child?

 

[dblake]

He's a deadbeat abuser. He's never been involved in her life.

 

[CourtClerk]

Who is claiming improper supervision and sending CPS?

Regardless, explain the situation to the social worker, then pick up your child and move clear across the country, with no forwarding address...

 

[dblake]

I'm not sure who. The person from CPS I spoke to kept dancing around that. Evidently they've been speaking to everyone in my family, however.

Moving away is what has started our current predicament, though. I left, and refused them any contact information, so they retaliated with reporting us missing. After the Caley Anthony case, this has turned into a real mess.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Who has been the primary caregiver of the child when you lived with your parents?

 

[CourtClerk]

Maybe you misunderstood what I was saying. After the CPS interview, where you tell the social worker and the police department that you intend on leaving town with your child and having no contact with your family.... leave.

Therefore, they are on notice that you are NOT missing.

 

[dblake]

Ginny, I've always been the only caregiver. My mother didn't babysit, pay for our food, my share of the bills, tend to my daughter, any of that. I'm a responsible mother and have been since the beginning.

CourtClerk, this isn't the first time she's reported me missing, though. What about calling CPS on me? Will she still be able to do that? I wonder because she didn't know where we were this time either, but it still happened. I'm mainly concerned because I've tried this before, but my family caused so much trouble I got scared and went back. Will just leaving again be enough to protect us?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If the family doesn't have contact with you, or your child, then they cannot make a credible report. CPS can land up being your ally in these situations - unsubstantiated reports piled up tend to look bad for the "reporter."

Seriously - deal with CPS truthfully. And then cut ties if necessary.

Now, you mentioned that dad was a "deadbeat." Is he LEGALLY dad in the eyes of the court? Does he have court ordered parenting time?

 

[dblake]

No. He is completely unknown to everyone but me, and I prefer it that way. He refuses to work and is therefore incapable of providing financial assistance, and he's abusive so I'd rather he not be around her. Him refusing anything to do with her just makes things easier, really.

 

[LdiJ]

No. He is completely unknown to everyone but me, and I prefer it that way. He refuses to work and is therefore incapable of providing financial assistance, and he's abusive so I'd rather he not be around her. Him refusing anything to do with her just makes things easier, really.

Follow Court Clerk's advice...move to the other side of the country and cut all ties. When things are that bad, its honestly the only solution.

What's more, if you can be self employed instead of drawing a paycheck, that makes you harder to find. If you use a PO box for your mail (bills and everything) that also makes you harder to find. An unlisted phone number is also a must.

You also have to cut all ties with anyone that might reveal your whereabouts to your family.

You honestly have to get far enough away that they cannot pursue you. Yes, it means starting over, but it sure sounds like that is what you need to do.

 

[FarmerJ]

Post a alert with the credit reporting agencys or learn what they can do to lock your information so it cannot be given out with out you knowing about it. Yes the more miles between the better.

 

[dblake]

Since my last post, they've filed two more reports with CPS (one saying she's not being bathed though they aren't even in the same county with her and haven't seen her since we left). I talked with the investigator about my options and she says I don't have any that she can tell me. She said that if the same person continues filing unfounded reports for long enough, they can threaten them with criminal charges, but that she's never seen anyone actually prosecuted for it, and she doesn't think that will happen.

Right now, I am self employed, my phone number is unlisted, and they don't know which county my daughter is in, yet we're still getting this mess. I'd like to move across the country, but I need time to come up with money to do that, and that's very difficult when I have to keep leaving the city to deal with investigations when I need to be working. I'm trying, though.

A few people have suggested that I change our names. Would that actually help much, or would it only hamper them a little?

Also, my mother knows my social security number. Aside from it just giving her the liberty of screwing up my credit, won't that make it easier for her to find us? Is there anything I can do about that?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The CPS reporting is a pain in the ***, but, if it continues to come back unfounded, it also leaves you with "documentation" that you are NOT abusing your daughter.

You mention dad not being in the daughter's life. From the way it is written, it appears that dad has not be adjudicated "dad." I just don't wanted added burdens to your life if the NCP gains alliance with your family. If he isn't dad, then there is nothing to keep you from moving across the country.

You can "freeze" your credit account so that your mother couldn't access it and create further financial problems.

 

[dblake]

Legally, she doesn't have a father, I made sure that no one knows who he is, he has no knowledge of our whereabouts or her name, and he would only have interest in her if I agreed to go back to him, so he won't be an issue.