He broke the engagement, what are my rights

[butterfly22]

New York
my ex-fiance ended the engagement in april. We had all of our vendors deposits (wedding was going to be held in september). I asked he re-pay at least 1/2 the lost vendor deposits.

I also paid off numerous bills to clear his credit, (since I thought we were going to be looking for morgages.). The amount he owes me is well over $7,000.

During the engagement I was living in his parents house to save money for a year. My ex has yet to make a payment to me since July. Now he says I should repay his parents for livign in their hose.

What are my rights to getting what I've lost, since he is the one who ended the engagement with only 5 months to go?

[BelizeBreeze]

Waht does your contract say as to remuneration of costs expended?

[You Are Guilty]

Oooh, a heartbalm question! Finally!

Anyway, presently, New York courts characterize engagement rings conditional gifts. New York also (generally) follows a fairly strict no-fault approach in deciding whether a ring, and similarly, any other tangible gifts given in contemplation of marriage, must be returned.

Not that I looked into it or anything before I got married, but NY actually has a statute, Civil Rights Law 80-b, which states, in pertinent part:

Nothing in this article contained shall be construed to bar a right of action for the recovery of a chattel, the return of money or securities, or the value thereof at the time of such transfer, * * * when the sole consideration for the transfer of the chattel, money or securities or real property was a contemplated marriage which has not occurred, and the court may, if in it discretion justice so requires, (1) award the defendant a lien upon the chattel * * *, (2) deny judgment for the recovery of the chattel * * * and award money damages in lieu thereof.

Granted, its usually applied only to the return of engagement rings, but "The purpose of the statute is to return the parties to the position they were in prior to their becoming engaged, without rewarding or punishing either party for the fact that the marriage failed to materialize." (Marshall v. Cassano, 2001 WL 1537663), and it does permit, ostensibly, the "return of money".

Of course, I'd argue that the money transfer need be between the man and the woman, not the woman and a caterer, but you can always make the argument that the payments (deposits) were made in "solely in contemplation of marriage". Will a judge buy it? Probably not, but they'll sure be impressed you said it.

[butterfly22]

so basically you are saying I have no rights at this point? The money I paid out to vendors, dresses, etc are my loss, and I should also return the ring to him? Why do I have to lose everything, when he broke off the engagement?

So basically he gets off scott-free and learns not responsibiliity for his actions. Typicall!!!!

Sorry, for the anger, but it's B.S. that someone can get away with this and not take responsibilitiy for his choices.

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by butterfly22

so basically you are saying I have no rights at this point? The money I paid out to vendors, dresses, etc are my loss, and I should also return the ring to him? Why do I have to lose everything, when he broke off the engagement?

So basically he gets off scott-free and learns not responsibiliity for his actions. Typicall!!!!

Sorry, for the anger, but it's B.S. that someone can get away with this and not take responsibilitiy for his choices.

I guess now we know the reason he broke off the wedding

[stealth2]

Hee hee.

[butterfly22]

that's an adult answer. I should have known better, since I AM dealling with lawyers**************.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by butterfly22

that's an adult answer. I should have known better, since I AM dealling with lawyers**************.

Darlin', you DO realize that not every poster on this site is a lawyer, right?

[You Are Guilty]

Originally Posted by stealth2

Darlin', you DO realize that not every poster on this site is a lawyer, right?

That's right - some of us are escaped patients from a mental hospital!



PS: Yes it sucks that he ran off with a prostitute and left you with the bills. However, think long term - this is but a small price to pay to learn this guy was a dickweed. Would you rather have found out after having a few kids?


PPS: Have you contacted the vendors to try to work out a partial refund? If the date is far in advance, they can usually re-book and might offer a few cents on the dollar.


PPPS: If you really don't want to lose the deposits and you're reasonably good looking (we already know you're a poor judge of character, so you got that working in your favor), I can probably find someone to marry you

[butterfly22]

Boy am I dealing with a bunch of commedians....

I came here to seriously seek some advice on my options. I am quiet attractive and I have no doubts in the success of my future.

He is a, how did you put it, a dickweed....and I am happier now I know and realized his faults. The vendors have been settled, since the wedding should have been months ago.

I just think it's crappy that yet again in his life he gets off scott--free and learns nothing by his actions.

[BelizeBreeze]

Yep sweetheart, sometimes life sucks....

But at least it doesn't wear braces!!!!

[You Are Guilty]

Look, you can still try to file a small claims suit against him and hope he either defaults or you get a sympathetic female judge. I don't know how much you put down, but the State raised the limits to $5k, so that would be your cap. (And if you put down more than $5k as a deposit, you deserve to lose some. Yikes!)

The new small claims filing fee is only $20, so if nothing else, you get to screw with the ex's life for only $20, a veritable bargain these days. Heck, that's less than two movie tickets in the City now.

And think - even if he does show for the hearing, you get to embarass him in open court in a room full of hundreds of (mostly non-english speaking) strangers. Where else can you get that kind of humilitation for $20? (Excluding the red-light district in Montreal).

Good luck. And talk to a real lawyer about the boyfriend issue. He ripped you off. You don't owe the parents money unless you had agreed to pay rent. And then it would need to be in writing. Certainly trying to get the money back is worth a try, at least to make him suffer a little.

PS I am not yet a lawyer, but I am closer than some of these posters, I can assure you.

[butterfly22]

between all the vendor deposits and the amount of bills I paid off for him, etc it totals over $7K

[stealth2]

Carlyle, hon - you're pretty close to getting booted. So tone it down.