Help

[Edh]

My girlfriend and I want to marry. Just one problem, I work for the U.S. Government and live in Arizona. She has custody of her three kids, 14, 12, and 7 in Maryland. Her ex-husband is in the U.S. Army and is stationed there. He doesn't want her to move to AZ simply because he doesn't want her with me. She is from here, has no one in Maryland, in fact her closest freinds and family are 1800 mile away. He purposely has isolated her from freinds and family. He was terribly abusive and controling, and continues to be so even after the divorce. Is there anyway she can come home and we can be married? They have joint legal and she has sole physical custody of the kids, but the social worker, whom by the way spent less than ten minutes with everybody, decided it was in the kids best interest to stay there, even though they have all moved every couple of years and staying there was never a permanent option. If she moves, they advise physical custody goes to the father. Does she really have to spend the rest of her life miserable and controled by this abuse jerk? How could this have happened and what can I do so that she can get on with her life and she can be with the children she raised and has dedicated her life to. It is true, bad things happen to good people. How screwed up is our court system? Some one please help us!

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by Edh

My girlfriend and I want to marry. Just one problem, I work for the U.S. Government and live in Arizona. She has custody of her three kids, 14, 12, and 7 in Maryland. Her ex-husband is in the U.S. Army and is stationed there. He doesn't want her to move to AZ simply because he doesn't want her with me. She is from here, has no one in Maryland, in fact her closest freinds and family are 1800 mile away. He purposely has isolated her from freinds and family. He was terribly abusive and controling, and continues to be so even after the divorce. Is there anyway she can come home and we can be married? They have joint legal and she has sole physical custody of the kids, but the social worker, whom by the way spent less than ten minutes with everybody, decided it was in the kids best interest to stay there, even though they have all moved every couple of years and staying there was never a permanent option. If she moves, they advise physical custody goes to the father. Does she really have to spend the rest of her life miserable and controled by this abuse jerk? How could this have happened and what can I do so that she can get on with her life and she can be with the children she raised and has dedicated her life to. It is true, bad things happen to good people. How screwed up is our court system? Some one please help us!

There is a very easy solution to HER problem. If you really want to know it.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by Edh

He doesn't want her to move to AZ simply because he doesn't want her with me.

Gee - or *maybe* he doesn't want his kids to move so far away from him. What a concept, eh?

Your g/f is free to move anywhere she likes. The kids aren't. So your choice is move on, give the kids to Dad and g/f moves to AZ with you, or you find a new job and move to MD.

Lots of choices there that do not involve uprooting the children.

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by stealth2

Gee - or *maybe* he doesn't want his kids to move so far away from him. What a concept, eh?

Your g/f is free to move anywhere she likes. The kids aren't. So your choice is move on, give the kids to Dad and g/f moves to AZ with you, or you find a new job and move to MD.

Lots of choices there that do not involve uprooting the children.

KILLJOY!!!

[stealth2]

I was being charitable.

Merry Christmas.

[nextwife]

She chose to stay in the relationship, and go ahead and have not one, not two, but three children with him! Dad has every rights to fight to keep her from moving her kids away. As stated, if you and she want to be together, that's not dad's problem. IT is up to mom to put her kid's relationship with their father ahead of her plans to move.

FYI - MY husband moved to me when we got engaged and got a job here. You are a legal stranger to these kids, so your career choices should not have anything to do with their relationship with their father. AS stated, mom can turn custody over to dad and go where she wishes, or you can move to her. After all, she's the one who has prior family obligations in that city, and did when you and she chose to pursue a relationship - so you already knew the kids had ties there.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Edh

My girlfriend and I want to marry. Just one problem, I work for the U.S. Government and live in Arizona. She has custody of her three kids, 14, 12, and 7 in Maryland. Her ex-husband is in the U.S. Army and is stationed there. He doesn't want her to move to AZ simply because he doesn't want her with me. She is from here, has no one in Maryland, in fact her closest freinds and family are 1800 mile away. He purposely has isolated her from freinds and family. He was terribly abusive and controling, and continues to be so even after the divorce. Is there anyway she can come home and we can be married? They have joint legal and she has sole physical custody of the kids, but the social worker, whom by the way spent less than ten minutes with everybody, decided it was in the kids best interest to stay there, even though they have all moved every couple of years and staying there was never a permanent option. If she moves, they advise physical custody goes to the father. Does she really have to spend the rest of her life miserable and controled by this abuse jerk? How could this have happened and what can I do so that she can get on with her life and she can be with the children she raised and has dedicated her life to. It is true, bad things happen to good people. How screwed up is our court system? Some one please help us!

The bottom line is that the court has already ruled on the issue. Mom has to stay put if she wants to retain custody of her children. Therefore, your only real option is to transfer your job so that you can live where she lives.

Unless dad is transferred somewhere else...there are no other options.