Help with family issue....life or death situation

[popsandfriends]

What is the name of your state? ME

Hello,
I come to you all for help, anonymously, as to protect my family. My great grandmother is 99 and lives with her daughter who is blind and has other health issues. She also lives with her granddaughter who is retarted and very violent. Last week, her daughter almost set the house on fire, and being blind, smelt the smoke, but my Nana was the one who had to get up and go turn off the burner. It's an impossible situation because, If we involve the state, they will take my Nana's daughter and seperate her from her daughter. This would in turn cause m Nan's daughter to get mad at her, which she couldnt deal with and might die from the stress. There has got to be SOME way that we can get my Nana in a home, and the other two in assisted living, but make it so they are together. So far we're drawing blanks, the whole family knows this is no a good situation. Since we all live over 200 miles away, we can go up and check on them every day. Someone will die if this is not fixed, and we need help.

Thank you,
Concerned

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by popsandfriends

What is the name of your state? ME

Hello,
I come to you all for help, anonymously, as to protect my family. My great grandmother is 99 and lives with her daughter who is blind and has other health issues. She also lives with her granddaughter who is retarted and very violent. Last week, her daughter almost set the house on fire, and being blind, smelt the smoke, but my Nana was the one who had to get up and go turn off the burner. It's an impossible situation because, If we involve the state, they will take my Nana's daughter and seperate her from her daughter. This would in turn cause m Nan's daughter to get mad at her, which she couldnt deal with and might die from the stress. There has got to be SOME way that we can get my Nana in a home, and the other two in assisted living, but make it so they are together. So far we're drawing blanks, the whole family knows this is no a good situation. Since we all live over 200 miles away, we can go up and check on them every day. Someone will die if this is not fixed, and we need help.

Thank you,
Concerned

Obviously the three of them are not compentent to care for themselves. Is there enough money available that a caregiver could be hired?...or perhaps enough if the rest of the family kicked in with a little help?

Otherwise, it could be difficult to ensure that they could remain together unless you could find an assisted living facility that was willing to take on all of them.

[nextwife]

The family needs to see if they can find a way to either move the three, together, to someplace nearer family where they can have live-in help, or to use whatever combined assets the three may have to pay for live-in caretaking. If grandma owns her place, perhaps a reverse mortgage could help fund a caregiver, if there are no other assets to use. You are correct that the current situation is intolerable and CANNOT be left as is.

Is she mentally competant? Is there a responsible family memebr who can oversee great grandma's financial matters, and arrange for appropriate caregiving? They should check with county and state programs to see what services may already be available for each party's situation.