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  #1  
Old 12-26-2007, 11:43 AM
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Help on getting girlfriend to leave my apartment

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

Hello- first post here.

About three months ago I got back together with a girlfriend from a few years back.

She was (is) on hard times so I suggested her and her son come and stay with me.

She works but contributes nothing. She is verbally and as of last night physically abusive
and I want her to leave - now.

She has claimed in the past that she has nowhere to go (she does) and that she has 30 days to stay here.

What can I do? My apartment has become a hostile battleground.

I had to stay in a hotel last night (Christmas) after I bought her son and her 3 other children all the presents because she couldn't afford to buy any herself. Some appreciation huh.

And yes, she is doing cr*ck and stays out all night sometimes. I mention this because that's where her money goes.

Thanks for your advice. SD
  #2  
Old 12-26-2007, 12:32 PM
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Location: Catatonic State
Posts: 75,781
Quote:
Originally Posted by 100mph View Post
What is the name of your state? North Carolina

Hello- first post here.

About three months ago I got back together with a girlfriend from a few years back.

She was (is) on hard times so I suggested her and her son come and stay with me.

She works but contributes nothing. She is verbally and as of last night physically abusive
and I want her to leave - now.

She has claimed in the past that she has nowhere to go (she does) and that she has 30 days to stay here.

What can I do? My apartment has become a hostile battleground.

I had to stay in a hotel last night (Christmas) after I bought her son and her 3 other children all the presents because she couldn't afford to buy any herself. Some appreciation huh.

And yes, she is doing cr*ck and stays out all night sometimes. I mention this because that's where her money goes.

Thanks for your advice. SD

**A: make sure she has some crack on her then call the cops when she is outside of your building.
  #3  
Old 12-26-2007, 12:36 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 21,726
File for a restraining order.
Start eviction proceedings.
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  #4  
Old 12-26-2007, 12:41 PM
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Location: I don't know. The guys with the keys won't say. I think it's top secret info.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
File for a restraining order.
Start eviction proceedings.
HG's method is quicker.

100mph; why didn't you call the police last night when she became physically abusive? Record any physical activity against you to defend a restraining order should you attempt to have one issued.
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  #5  
Old 12-26-2007, 12:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HomeGuru View Post
**A: make sure she has some crack on her then call the cops when she is outside of your building.
She doesn't bring it to the house - she knows better-
Plus, I hope that was a joke.

As far as restraining order, how do I provide proof?
Her son will back her up, not me.

Should I speak with my management office?
  #6  
Old 12-26-2007, 12:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
HG's method is quicker.

100mph; why didn't you call the police last night when she became physically abusive? Record any physical activity against you to defend a restraining order should you attempt to have one issued.

Because I basically don't like getting the police involved.

I just prefer to walk away, which I did.
  #7  
Old 12-26-2007, 12:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 100mph View Post
Because I basically don't like getting the police involved.

I just prefer to walk away, which I did.
then you are setting yourself up to be on the losing end of a conflict.

Since you want her to walk away, and she won't, you need to treat her like the adversary she is. If you simply allow her to ignore your demands, you will always lose.

Either take charge or get walked on.
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we are all born ignorant. It is when one fails to remedy that ignorance when they become aware of that ignorance when one proves themselves, simply, they are just plain old fashioned; dumb.
  #8  
Old 12-26-2007, 12:52 PM
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Location: I don't know. The guys with the keys won't say. I think it's top secret info.
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-
Quote:
Plus, I hope that was a joke.
With HG, I'm not sure.

Quote:
As far as restraining order, how do I provide proof?
Her son will back her up, not me.
Well, a police report would be a lot of supporting proof but you do not want to go that way. So, you file for one, tell the judge why thre should be one and hope she does not try to convince him otherwise.
Quote:
Should I speak with my management office?
What do they care? As long as they get their money and you are not a big problem, they don;t. If you or your guest) become a problem, they simply evict you..
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we are all born ignorant. It is when one fails to remedy that ignorance when they become aware of that ignorance when one proves themselves, simply, they are just plain old fashioned; dumb.
  #9  
Old 12-26-2007, 12:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
HG's method is quicker.
Agreed - but it wasn't there when I started typing
__________________
*
*
The information I gave is based on my 7 seconds of research on Google. Review the information yourself to make an informed decision.

Communication is KEY - 10 mins of talking now can save you months of headaches later!

Masterfully stating the obvious to the oblivious! (Thanks SP!)

Tell it like it is! When all else fails, make up a statistic!

Gender references shall apply equally to the other gender. I will not correct gender mistakes (unless I want to)
  #10  
Old 12-26-2007, 12:56 PM
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Location: I don't know. The guys with the keys won't say. I think it's top secret info.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
Agreed - but it wasn't there when I started typing
I guess HG types faster than you too!
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we are all born ignorant. It is when one fails to remedy that ignorance when they become aware of that ignorance when one proves themselves, simply, they are just plain old fashioned; dumb.
  #11  
Old 12-26-2007, 01:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
then you are setting yourself up to be on the losing end of a conflict.

Since you want her to walk away, and she won't, you need to treat her like the adversary she is. If you simply allow her to ignore your demands, you will always lose.

Either take charge or get walked on.
You're right- I know that.

It's just that she is a very convincing "victim"
and knows how to play the game to perfection.

She is very, very good looking with these "sweet"
innocent eyes and can cry like an Oscar winner at will.

She makes men melt. She did it to me - twice now.

Just venting a bit - but that's what I envision if the cops show up.

How can this frail, petite little angel hurt a "tough" guy like me?

Believe me- look up gorgeous she-devil and you'll see her picture.

Please, I mean no offense to anyone here - I'm just frustrated.
  #12  
Old 12-26-2007, 01:12 PM
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Treat her like a tenant and give her WRITTEN notice of eviction. Get it to her before the end of the month so that she'll be out by the end of next month. If she's not, you'll have to get a judge ordered eviction.
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  #13  
Old 12-26-2007, 01:16 PM
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Location: I don't know. The guys with the keys won't say. I think it's top secret info.
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Quote:
She is very, very good looking with these "sweet"
innocent eyes and can cry like an Oscar winner at will.
just give her a little more time with the crack. Once the cops see her looking like this;

[url]http://www.robbooker.com/blog/crack.jpg[/url]

it will be obvious what she has been up to.








Sorry, I just couldn;t resist.

Quote:
How can this frail, petite little angel hurt a "tough" guy like me?
It's not a matter of her hurting you, it is a matter of her committing aussault and battery. Just be sure you do not touch her. On top of everythng else, a police report helps you to document the problems. She will have to speak to the cops each time they come out. If she lies, that is actioanable by the police should they wish to persue it after it is discovered.

If youdon;t want to do that, then learn how to evict her and get started. the sooner you take action, the sooner she will be out.
__________________
we are all born ignorant. It is when one fails to remedy that ignorance when they become aware of that ignorance when one proves themselves, simply, they are just plain old fashioned; dumb.
  #14  
Old 12-26-2007, 01:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
just give her a little more time with the crack. Once the cops see her looking like this;

[url]http://www.robbooker.com/blog/crack.jpg[/url]

it will be obvious what she has been up to.
Thanks - I needed that, sincerely, -it's the first time I've laughed in days.

But like I said - she goes off and doesn't bring it around the house thank goodness.

Then she comes back crying and all.


Quote:
Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
Sorry, I just couldn;t resist.
<---- that's okay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
It's not a matter of her hurting you, it is a matter of her committing aussault and battery. Just be sure you do not touch her. On top of everythng else, a police report helps you to document the problems. She will have to speak to the cops each time they come out. If she lies, that is actioanable by the police should they wish to persue it after it is discovered.
Yes, again you're right. But at the time it would have been five against me witness wise.

And no- I would never touch her. I was raised to walk away and cool off.
She hurts me more on the inside that out anyway you know?

Quote:
Originally Posted by justalayman View Post
If youdon;t want to do that, then learn how to evict her and get started. the sooner you take action, the sooner she will be out.
That's what I meant about talking to the office ladies.
They are usually very helpful with everything else.

And thank you by the way - It's good to "talk" it out sometimes.
I'm usually very refrained.
Last edited by 100mph; 12-26-2007 at 01:30 PM. Reason: I quoted incorrectly.
  #15  
Old 12-26-2007, 02:00 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: I don't know. The guys with the keys won't say. I think it's top secret info.
Posts: 10,167
Quote:
]Thanks - I needed that, sincerely, -it's the first time I've laughed in days.
glad it helped





Quote:
Yes, again you're right. But at the time it would have been five against me witness wise.
That would be a tough convince.





Quote:
That's what I meant about talking to the office ladies.
They are usually very helpful with everything else.
are you callng me one of the office ladies? Now after all I have done for you... Just kidding. Did you know that there really is an actual term "office ladies". it refers to young Japanese women that server tea and take dictation in business offices. They are typically single and live with their parents. I went looking for a pic but when you google office ladies and then go to images, those ladies are taking more than dictation


Quote:
And thank you by the way - It's good to "talk" it out sometimes.
I'm usually very refrained]
One of the benfits of anonymity of the net.
__________________
we are all born ignorant. It is when one fails to remedy that ignorance when they become aware of that ignorance when one proves themselves, simply, they are just plain old fashioned; dumb.
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