Help - Need Legal Separation from In-Laws

[sal76]

What is the name of your state? - Ohio

My fiance's parents have serious financial problems. They've been bankrupt at least twice, and have no idea how to manage their finances. THey are constantly asking for handouts and help, and have gone so far as to take out credit cards in my finace's name and max them out. I know identity theft is illegal, but my finance didn't have the heart to take his own parents to court. He paid off the credit cards (about 20 grand worth), but they are still causing problems. I am afraid i won't be able to have children because we will be taking care of his parents financial debts for the rest of our lives. Is there a way to legally separate from his parents? Should we change our Social Security numbers so they cannot use our identities for credit fraud? I need advice on what to do before we wed, please help!

Sal

[stealth2]

Frankly, a better plan would be to find a new guy. This one has way too much baggage, and he's already made it plain that he's not going to deal with his parents and their issues.

[sal76]

We've been together for six years now, and i'm willing to try and work through this. He is willing to do whatever i need to feel secure before we get married, but he is as clueless as i am about what our options are. I just want to find a way to separate from his parents financially forever. I don't want to worry about afording things for my children because his parents have landed us in another financial hole. We have already decided to move away after the wedding.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by sal76

What is the name of your state? - Ohio

My fiance's parents have serious financial problems. They've been bankrupt at least twice, and have no idea how to manage their finances. THey are constantly asking for handouts and help, and have gone so far as to take out credit cards in my finace's name and max them out. I know identity theft is illegal, but my finance didn't have the heart to take his own parents to court. He paid off the credit cards (about 20 grand worth), but they are still causing problems. I am afraid i won't be able to have children because we will be taking care of his parents financial debts for the rest of our lives. Is there a way to legally separate from his parents? Should we change our Social Security numbers so they cannot use our identities for credit fraud? I need advice on what to do before we wed, please help!

Sal

I would recommend that you keep your finances completely separate from your husband's finances....and make sure that they have no access to your social security number. I think its the only way you are going to be able to protect yourself.

However...you may be in for a rocky road.

[sal76]

Should i get a pre-nup? The only thing is that i want to be able to protect us and our kids... not just me, but i don't know how!

[Zephyr]

report the identity theft....sometimes people need to learn a hard lesson before they change their behavior, and they'll have no one to blame but themselves for it

[pty]

Obviously Mom & Dad know his social security number, and since he wouldn't file charges before, you have to wonder if he'd file charges if they did it again (even if he says he would). I don't think it's easy to get a new social security number. I vaguely remember reading an article once about this and while it is possible to get a new number in the event that someone is using yours, it's not necessarily a given/easy. I think you have to provide proof that you took every possible step that you could to correct the situation, such as filing a police report. I could be wrong though.

Even if you keep your finances separate from his, this could still cause a lot of issues for you. For example, maybe when you save enough to put a down payment on a house, hubby suddenly has to payoff another $20,000 of his parents debts (because it's in his name and he doesn't want to file charges and get them in trouble), and there goes your down payment.