Help w/ rights of decised remains.

What is the name of your state? WI
What is the name of your state? WI

Recently a family member of mine died. He left behind him 9 children from two different relationships. Three of the children (all adults) are from his previous marriage (one is adopted). Four more ( all adults) are from his current 20 year relationship ( some would call her his common law wife) and are not his paternal children. The final child is the only minor and is a production of both him and his common law wife. For the past 20 years he has raised the common law wife’s kids as his own and has lived in a home with them all. Upon his sudden death his 3 children from his previous marriage have taken over his arrangements not even allowing his family he raised for the past 20 years to be apart of it, not even allowing us to have a separate wake or be part of there's. Following his death his common law wife attempted to go see him at the morgue and make arrangements but since she is not married to him ( and common law wife really has no meaning legally speaking) they refused and the children he has been raising are not his paternal children so they refused there also. The common law wife and deceased have one paternal child together but the child is a minor.
What can we do? Do they at least have to let us attend the services?

[usmcfamily]

Okay - the computer just ate my edited reply

the jist of it is that since they are planning and assumably funding the services they have the right to include or exclude at will......even if the minor child were an adult they could "uninvite" her, of course she - and the rest of you - could still show up at the services but it would cause a scene and that does little to honor his memory.....
What you CAN do, though, is once he is buried/interred in public grounds (unless they have a private family place - very uncommon these days) you could all go visit together and hold your own memorial (bring an officiant if you want to preside) because the only property they have direct control over as far as access is the specific plot he is in -- the surrounding ground is not their property and therefor they would not be able to restrict your access (in other words stand 6 inches to the left or right and you are good).