Helping a Friend

[Michele541]

What is the name of your state? NH
Hello. I am seeking help for my friend. She has been married for 10 years and they have 2 children. My friend is a great mother. There are many problems within the marriage. He is very controlling and comes from a family where his father was a controller. His parents are divorced. My friend wants out. She has the attitude if she knew then what she knows now she would have never married him. She had a short-lived affair about a year or two ago. Her husband found out and stated he had hired a Private Investigator. Since the affiar, he does not let her forget it. He refuses marriage counseling. She can't even seek help via cell phone or computer because he monitors all of it or somebody does. He plays mental games with her, controls who her friends are, etc....Anyway, she has asked for a divorce. In there hearts, they both know it's the right thing, but he will not let her go without a fight. He has threatened that she has committed adultery and he would ruin her if she was to leave. He stated the court will see the adultress she is and she will leave with nothing. I told her to find her strength and stand up for herself. I told her to call his bluff on the Private Investigator stuff. I also told her that any bad behavior or inadequacies, like an affiar, is not relevant in custodial decisions. She is not an unfit mother. She is a sweet person looking for love and respect. She is so vulnerable and I want to help her. Any advice? She she be scared about this Private Investigator? Can he nail her an adultery grounds? What can she do to protect herself. She needs a good lawyer. Thank you.

[brisgirl825]

She needs to file for divorce. Adultry does not effect custody and/or property settelments.

[Wolflmg]

Tell her to file for divorce and it might even be a good idea to seek a womans shelter, what help woman and mothers that are in bad relationships with their husbads or boyfriends.

[seniorjudge]

Originally Posted by brisgirl825

She needs to file for divorce. Adultry does not effect custody and/or property settelments.

[url]http://www.smartdivorce.com/articles/misconduct.shtml[/url]

New Hampshire may have some form of marital misconduct statutes/cases still in effect which could affect custody and/or property settlements.

[brisgirl825]

Originally Posted by seniorjudge

[url]http://www.smartdivorce.com/articles/misconduct.shtml[/url]

New Hampshire may have some form of marital misconduct statutes/cases still in effect which could affect custody and/or property settlements.

She had an affair 2 yrs ago that was forgiven by the husband. He chose not to seek a divorce at that time, given the circumstances. Wouldn't that make a difference?

[seniorjudge]

Originally Posted by brisgirl825

She had an affair 2 yrs ago that was forgiven by the husband. He chose not to seek a divorce at that time, given the circumstances. Wouldn't that make a difference?

Got me.

Condonation and all that.