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  1. #1
    Heart broken Mother Guest

    Question

    My question is my husband and I can not afford to hire a lawyer and travel between states to handle my custody case and my ex in-laws have money and custody of my 10 yr old daughter,how do I file for a hearing and prepare for it concidering they are gonna pull everything they can to keep me from getting my daughter back.I am even having trouble getting them to let me have my visitations as agreed??What do I need to do??No one in Florida seems to want to talk to me because of the money issue and because I live in Alabama.I am at my wits end.Can someone please help me????I have been fighting this case for 8yrs and always hit a dead end.I recently got to talk to my 10yr old daughter this past Christmas and made arrangement to go to Florida and see her during spring break and had her uncles permission and now last night he e-mails me back telling me if I didn't show up the day my husband and I had plannned to leave to go down there I wouldn't get to see her because they are going to Mexico for the week.He knew that we had been planning this trip since Christmas,and now he's backing out on the deal.What do I need to do? My husband and I cannot afford to make a one day trip to Florida and I personally think that that is a wasted trip because we were making plans to visit a theme park or something within our budget and if I don't go when we do go to court they will use it against us..I am truly sorry for making this so long,but my story is extremly long.I haven't even touch on how they got custody in the first place,but thats another page.So please if you can help me I need all the advice I can get...Sincerly Screwed in Florida and Alabama
  2. #2
    Ukiah Guest
    Originally posted by Heart broken Mother
    My question is my husband and I can not afford to hire a lawyer and travel between states to handle my custody case and my ex in-laws have money and custody of my 10 yr old daughter,how do I file for a hearing and prepare for it concidering they are gonna pull everything they can to keep me from getting my daughter back.I am even having trouble getting them to let me have my visitations as agreed??What do I need to do??No one in Florida seems to want to talk to me because of the money issue and because I live in Alabama.I am at my wits end.Can someone please help me????I have been fighting this case for 8yrs and always hit a dead end.I recently got to talk to my 10yr old daughter this past Christmas and made arrangement to go to Florida and see her during spring break and had her uncles permission and now last night he e-mails me back telling me if I didn't show up the day my husband and I had plannned to leave to go down there I wouldn't get to see her because they are going to Mexico for the week.He knew that we had been planning this trip since Christmas,and now he's backing out on the deal.What do I need to do? My husband and I cannot afford to make a one day trip to Florida and I personally think that that is a wasted trip because we were making plans to visit a theme park or something within our budget and if I don't go when we do go to court they will use it against us..I am truly sorry for making this so long,but my story is extremly long.I haven't even touch on how they got custody in the first place,but thats another page.So please if you can help me I need all the advice I can get...Sincerly Screwed in Florida and Alabama
    This is a little confusing...

    Why was custody lost? Where is the father, why doesn't he have custody? Who has primary custody? Is there a court order for visitation, what does that say?

    What are you wanting to do exactly? Petition for Custody? Modify your existing agreement? File contempt on them?

    If you are petitioning for custody, you need to go to court in the county where the child is residing.You'll have to get an Attorney in that area. You have to show good cause as to why you are petitioning for the change. It won't be simple or a one time thing.

    You may be able to have a Paralegal help you fill out papers, but either way it's not going to be cheap. I suggest getting an attorney. One that's willing to take on the case. Keep searching, there is one out there that will take the case.

    Do you have an agreement in writing (court order) as to when you can see the child? Specific dates/ times?

    KEEP all emails, when you email back send a bcc back to your self, for your records. Buy a conversation recorder and find out if your state is a two-party state or one-party state; IF it's a two-party state, then you must tell them you are recording them EVERY time you talk to them. IF it's a one-party state, you do not have to tell them you are recording. Document everything! The better case you build against them, the better off you are in what ever quest you have.
  3. #3
    Heart broken Mother Guest
    To answer some questions you may have when you read my question I am gonna TRY to give a brief over view of my case.PLEASE be pateint with me I have a long story and feel that I should tell all to get the advice I am looking for.I got married at 17 to a man who was 10 yrs older than me only 4mths after we started dating,and then I had my daughter almost 1yr after we were married.After having my daughter we started partying pretty hard,but mostly drinking and smoking marijuana though most of the partying was on the weekends.After about a year of living this way I was ready for a change,I was ready to quit everything and settle down and make a good life for my daughter,but my husband wasn't ready.You see when we met he had just gotten out of prison and he was trying to make up for the six yrs that he had spent locked up,so I gave him the ultimatum change or I will leave and he chose to keep partying and he had started stealing again(the reason he went to prison in the first place)so I left him and moved to my mothers in Alabama because I had no family in Florida I could stay with.My daughter and I were there for about 4mths before he showed up asking to see my daughter and I didn't refuse him,but I wish now I had.I ended up leaving with him because of my daughter,I felt as though I had no choice.That was Feb.93'.We lasted until Aug.before I was fed up again,I even turned him into the law for robbing houses in our community but it did no good they didn't even mess with him,so I left again and went to stay with friends taking my daughter with me.While there we had an agreement that one would take care of my daughter while the other worked,he worked third shift and I was applying for a day shift job,but thanks to him neither of us got to work.He was to busy following me and threatning the companies I would apply for.This went on for about two weeks and Icaught him outside my room one night trying to cut the screen and attempting to get in saying he was there to kill me.I called the police,but they didn't do anything because he was already gone and it was my word against his(so they said).The next day he showed up wanting my daughter and we got on a big fight and he took her from my arms and was trying to leave when the police showed up and once again I was screwed,they said since we were still married he had all rights to take her if he wanted to so he left,with my daughter.Two or three days later he showed up wanting to know if I wanted to see my daughter and I told him yes,so we went back to his place supposedly to wait for his mother to bring her back and while we were waiting he decides to pull out a gun and I assumed he was gonna shoot me,but then he went down the hall and I didn't hang around to see who he was gonna shoot first me or him.I went to the neighbors house to call the police and his mother to let her know I would be coming out to pick up my daughter when the sherrifs were finished,but when I called back to let her know I was on my way I got the answering machine telling me she was taking my daughter to her sisters house in Pensicola to file for custody.I imediatly went to the police station and filed a kidnapping charge against her ,but they never followed through with it.And before I knew it I was being served with papers granting her temperary custody.My husband went on the run because he was an armed felon in possecion of a stolen weapon,during the time he was in hiding he went with his mother,not to Pensicola,but to Orlando to his sisters house where he signed his parental rights over to his mother stating I had abandonded them and that he didn't know where I was.They had his sister noterize it and his step-father witness it and they took it to the court and thats when I lost my child.He turned himself in that same day and they turned right around and released him,when they should have charge him with violation of probation,but once again his mother bought his way out.I was finally able to get a job because I think his mother told him to lay off until after the court date which was set for Nov.4th,but after staying away about a week and a half he showed up at my apartment.I thought I was doing pretty good I had gotten a job and a place of my own and was hoping that ,that would help when I went to court to show I was trying,but then he showed up and ripped my dreams apart again.I was getting ready for work and came to the door wanting to talk and I tried to make him think I wasn't there but he told me he knew I was because he had been watching me all day and knew I was home,so I finally agreed telling him I only had a minute because I had to go to work.We talked about 15 minutes before I turned to go back inside,I went to shut the door and he pushed it open and dragged me into my bedroom and started pounding on me I tried to fight back but he had me pinned to the floor so I started kicking the wall hoping my grandmother would hear and call the police.I guess that scared him because it wasn't long before he let go and took off.I dragged myself up and went around to my grandmothers and she let me know she had called the police and that I was gonna have to move ,said she couldn't deal with people fighting.I had been there only a week.By the time the police got there he was already headed to his mothers house,but this time she couldn't save him from getting into trouble.He was going into a 30mph curve and broad sided a truck and was killed instantly.He was thrown from the car,he died on impact.I had to be in court 6 days later with a busted face missing front tooth and swelling so bad I couldn't eat or drink anything for about two weeks.After the accident I called my mother and her and my step-father showed up and we went to speak to a lawyer and he wanted $500.00 for a retainer fee but my mother refused to pay it saying that my daughter,her grandaughter was right where she needed to be,thats just what I wanted to hear from my own mother.I had already been hearing it from my mother-inlaw and definatly didn't want to hear it from my own mother.Well I showed up to court with no legal advice and having 7 people along with my mother telling me to give temporary custody of my daughter to her grandmother,so thats what I did,the biggest mistake of my life.I didn't know that I could have postponed it until I could build a case but then again my grandmother had kicked me out so I was homeless and the only place I had to go was back home with my mother.I stayed with her for just a few weeks before going back to Florida and moved in with a friend who needed a nanny for his two kids and I was cleaning a lady's house part time on weekends for extra money,but just wasn't making enough for me to survive let alone taking care of a child so I applied for a job in a nursing home and got it.While working there I met a guy and we had a relationship and I got pregnant with my second daughter.During this time I kept all agreed visitations with my oldest daughter which were supervised and at her grandmothers house.Although I hated going there to see her,but what could I do she had all the rights and I had to abide by her rules.The guy I was pregnant by and I moved in together and live together until the birth of my youngest daughter,by this time we were fighting pretty regular and I knew that we were not gonna make it together,so after he got fired from his job I convinced him to move to Alabama because I knew if we split up in Florida I would lose another child and I couldn't go thru that again.So I sacrificed not seeing one child to keep another child.A choice I should have never had to make,because had I had a good judge he would have awarded me custody and I could have taken care of my oldest daughter with working and the social security check she receives every month ,but her grandmother had it put in the court papers that it was to go into a savings account for her education.I didn't think that was fair to me because I could have supported her on that and a job.So I packed up and moved my 5wk old daughter to Alabama and was staying with my brother and I went to work while my daughters father decided he didn't want to work and I put up with it until my daughter was 5mth old and I made him leave.Once again I ended up moving in with my mother,but eventually I got things straight,had a couple more failed relationships and during this time I could not get in touch with my oldest daughter or her grandmother.I lost contact with them and did not get to speak with her again until this past Christmas.It was the best Christmas I ever had.Don't get me wrong I tried my hardest to find these people even calling my daughters uncle where she lives,yes I said lives,her grandmother was awarded custody but my daughter lives with her fathers brother,in a seperate county from where the court hearing was held.I ask around and was told the grandmother could say where she wants the child to reside,thats the luxury of having money,you can buy everything you want.I have supported my youngest daughter for the last 4yrs until I met my current husband and we both agree that it is cheaper for me to stay at home because of daycare prices,and now he and I have a 8mth old together and he allows me to stay at home and be here with my kids.So to make a very long story short I am a mother who doesn't have the money that my ex-mother -inlaw and her family have and I don't think its fair that they use that against me/us.My husband is a very hard worker and we live within our means,but by my ex-mother-inlaws standard we are to poor to have my daughter at home with us.Where does it say in the law you have to have a lot of money to be happy?We have a loving home,doesn't that count any more?We don't have to go on crusises every year to be happy,or to another country do we?We are happy going to the local swimming hole and probably have more fun and definetly spend less money.So I am asking if you had enough patients to read all of what I have said,what would you do in my position?Petition the court on your own and see what the out come is or hire a lawyer that you know you can't afford and see the same out come?Dealing with this is very stressful due to the fact I don't feel as though I can beat the"PERFECT FAMILY".This is one of the reasons I have waited so long to speak out,because I don't think no matter what I do I will ever be good enough to be my daughters mother,especially in her grandmothers eyes.But when did the court system turn the judging of people to a woman like her,because to her if you not in her family or related to her you are nothing..Can anyone help me?I am almost to the point of giving up,like its not meant for me to even see my daughter.I had arrangement to go to see her during her sping break but now her uncle tells me if I don't show up on the day they set I won't get to see her and have to rescedule the trip,and thats very hard to do with my husbands job.And what makes it even worse he's known since Christmas that we were coming down to spend a couple days but now he says that he has plans to take the family to Mexico and won't be back until the day we are sceduled to come home.I don't know why this has upset me so,becase I knew that they would do something like this,and what makes it so bad is if I don't show up when we do go to court they will use it against me..So where do I go from here?Fight alone and lose or hire a lawyer and pray we win,but already know the out come-lose??OOhh heres a good question for you why would his mother file for a dissolution of marriage 5mths after he died?And is it legal for his sister to have put on his death certificate that we were divoced when we we not?Is that legal?I don't know...I really appreceate all the feed back I can get and also THANK YOU for being pateint and reading my story.....I need all the advice I can get.If any ano can help me or help refer me to someone in Lake or Orange County Florida who is up to a challenge PLEASE get back with me....Sincerly,A Broken Hearted Mother..
  4. #4
    Ukiah Guest
    “…Pensacola to file for custody. I immediately went to the police station and filed a kidnapping charge against her, but they never followed through with it. And before I knew it I was being served with papers granting her temporary custody. My husband went on the run because he was an armed felon in possession of a stolen weapon, during the time he was in hiding he went with his mother, not to Pensacola, but to Orlando to his sisters house where he signed his parental rights over to his mother stating I had abandoned them and that he didn't know where I was. They had his sister notarize it and his stepfather witness it and they took it to the court and that’s when I lost my child.”

    MY RESPOSE; I believe that you need to go to Orlando (OR the county that has jurisdiction over that case) and get case file copies to take to an attorney (make an extra set of copies to keep for your self) in that area to prove that they have falsified documents. There may be a statute of limitations on what they did, which means you won’t be able to use that against them and disprove what they’ve done. Either way it, in a sense, was falsifying facts.

    “During this time I could not get in touch with my oldest daughter or her grandmother. I lost contact with them and did not get to speak with her again until this past Christmas. It was the best Christmas I ever had. Don’t get me wrong I tried my hardest to find these people even calling my daughters uncle where she lives, yes I said lives, her grandmother was awarded custody but my daughter lives with her fathers brother, in a separate county from where the court hearing was held. I ask around and was told the grandmother could say where she wants the child to reside.”

    MY RESPONSE; I’m not sure as to what the laws are in your State or their state, as far as whom the child can reside with. It sounds as though the Grandmother has sole custody. What do your papers state?

    “What would you do in my position?”

    MY RESPONSE; I would never go to court without a good Attorney, especially with something like this. Without an atty, your outcome could be worse. My experience in dealing with a biased court and going in alone has been proven in this.

    “Dealing with this is very stressful”

    MY RESPONSE; You are still very hurt, I can see that from what you have written. I was depressed for a number of years after losing my child to my X, now that I’m over the worst part, I’m mad and ready to take action. Like you I don’t have the money, but my child is worth my going into debt to get her back.

    “I don't think no matter what I do I will ever be good enough to be my daughter’s mother, especially in her grandmothers eyes.”

    MY RESPONSE; I was made to think everything was my fault, one day it hit me, that it wasn’t, and I couldn’t believe how much that one moment of realization changed my whole perspective. When you get to that point, you will know it too, TRUST ME! Unlike you, I have one child and one child only I can’t have anymore. I know how it feels to love someone and have to be kept away from them, and the guilt and pain of the whole situation. You’re not going to be able to do anything to benefit your daughter until you get yourself past that pain and focus on everything you have before you. If you have to get a part-time job, do it. It’s money you can use to get your daughter back.

    “I had arrangement to go to see her during her spring break but now her uncle tells me if I don't show up on the day they set I won't get to see her and have to reschedule the trip, and that’s very hard to do with my husbands job.”

    MY RESPONSE; I know this may not be something you want to hear, but already know; You should go when the Uncle has said, this will show you are flexible and willing to do what it takes for your child and be a part of her life. What kind of custody agreement do you have? Is it signed by a judge? What percentage of custody do you have; JOINT, SOLE, LEGAL, PHSICAL?

    “And what makes it even worse he's known since Christmas that we were coming down to spend a couple days but now he says that he has plans to take the family to Mexico and won't be back until the day we are scheduled to come home.”

    MY RESPONSE; Do you have anything in writing as to an agreement with the Uncle to go see her on those specific dates/times? E-mail is acceptable as well.

    “Ouch here’s a good question for you why would his mother file for dissolution of marriage 5mths after he died?”

    MY RESPONSE; WAIT, are you saying the grandmother filed for divorce for your husband after his death GET COPIES OF THAT CASE! Get copies of everything you can that involves your child; all case files, medical, school, maybe get copies of your husband’s criminal records.

    “And is it legal for his sister to have put on his death certificate that we were divorced when we not?”

    MY RESPONSE; It is up to you to prove they falsified that too when it was done. I don’t know if you can go back 4 years later and contest that.

    “THANK YOU for being patient and reading my story...I need all the advice I can get.”

    MY RESPONSE; We all try our best here. No matter what we have told you it is always wise to check our advice with a free consultations of a few attorneys in your area to get their legal opinion

    Try not to be too emotional, I mean, care, but don’t cry. It’s a sign of weakness. That’s what a Judge told me “off duty” Be strong, know what you want before you go get it, and cover all your bases.

    I took it upon myself to learn as many of the laws/codes in my state which pertain to my case, and with the great help I’ve received on this board, I feel I’ve come a long way in a short time.

    Get a conversation recorder; find out if your state is a one party or a two-party State. If it’s a one party, you do not need to tell them you are recording the conv. If it’s a two-party, you have to tell them every time you talk to them.

    By using the “FIND A LAWYER” bar at the top, or side, you can find a lawyer anywhere.

    What are you wanting to do exactly? Petition for Custody? Modify your existing agreement? File contempt on them?

    If you are petitioning for custody, you need to go to court in the county where the child is residing or the county of jurisdiction. You’ll need to get an Attorney in that area. You have to show good cause as to why you are petitioning for the change. It won't be simple or a one-time thing.

    You may be able to have a Paralegal help you fill out papers, but either way it's not going to be cheap. I suggest getting an attorney. One that's willing to take on the case. Keep searching, there is one out there that will take the case.

    Keep ALL letters & emails, when you email back, send a bcc back to your self, for your records. Document everything! The better case you build against them, the better off you are in whatever quest you have.

    Now, a few tough questions for you; what does your daughter want? Is she happy where she is? Will it be detrimental to her to be moved from one state to another? How old is she? Have you been able to talk to her about her wishes? Depending on her answers, will you be able to come to terms with this if she wants to stay, and is happy?

  5. #5
    Heart broken Mother Guest
    In response to getting all court documents,I beleive I have all of them,but had planned to visit the court house and make sure incase they file more while I was out of contact with them..In response to what her custody situation,I really don't know all the papers I have state in some "temporary custody" and others say"temporary and permenant custody".In the last document which is the stipulation,all it says is that the minor child will continue to live with grandmother or the minor childs uncle.So I'm not exacly sure where I stand??In response to what pesentage of custody do I have:none:all I have are supervised visitation to given at thier discretion.And yes it signed by the judge.He didn't even hardly look at me during any of the court sessions.In response to whether or not there was a written agreement:no we had been talking over the phone,and I ask if it would be ok if we(my husband and kids and I)could come to visit and asked about spring break and he said they had nothing planned and that it would be a good time.We had planned to stay a couple of days,because the girls were exited about getting to see each other since my the last time they were together was when my youngest daughter was just a few weeks old.In responce to getting copies of the dissolution of marriage:I was sent copies and had to go to court,but it ended up being about the custody case,thats when I had to sign the stipulation that stated"1.That the parties are in agreement that it is in the best interest of the minor child is that the grandmother continue to have custody of the child.2.the minor child may reside at either the grandmothers home or the home of the aunt and uncle(the father's brother and wife).3.I shall have supervised visitation with the child until such time as she can demonstrate to the grandmother that she has the stability and maturity to have unsupervised visitation with the child.Visitation shall be supervised by the grandmother or other adult satisfactory to the parties at the grandmother's residence or such other agreed-upon mutually satisfactory place.4.I shall not remove the minor child from the grandmother until such time as the grandmother agrees that I am of sufficient maturity and responsibility to do so.Until that time,I am enjoined and restrained from removing the child from the custody of the grandmother and from Lake County Florida.5.I am to keep the grandmother informed of my current address and phone number and her working address and phone number at all time and shall notify her of any changes within three days.6.I understand that her lawyer isn't my lawyer and cannot give any advice and I was advised to have a lawyer present.7.I don't have to pay child support because the minor child receives a social security check from the death of her father.8.This stipulation shall incororated into a final judgement in this cause.9.This repesents the entire agreement between the parties.There are no representations other than those set forth in this stipulation.Dated the 27yh day of April,1994.At the time of this I had refused to sign because I was afraid I was signing my rights away,but I had their attorney and the social worker involved tell me if I didn't sign it the judge would make me.I know now he couldn't have,but that day I didn't know.I had to go to court alone with no family or friends there to support me or anything,my youngest daughters father refused to go and stayed at home in bed.I felt totally helpless...In responce to getting files and medical and school records:How can I?And will theses people let me have them without their permission and who do I see to get them?I have the death cerificate with the sisters name and that she had it put down as he was divorced,who do I talk to or take it to?I want to thank you for taking the time to answer me,other than my husband and his family no one else has cared,not my family or even the lawyers I've spoken to in the past.Most of them tell me theres nothing they can do or laugh at me like I'm supose to know the law like they do.I know you are not an attorney,but it makes me feel better to know that there are other people out there willing to take the time to give someone else advice on what you yourself have also gone thru.I am truly sorry you wre unable to have anymore children.I always tell everyone that my youngest daughter was my gift from God to keep me from going insane and to keep me out of trouble and I honestly beleive that if I had had the chance of having my oldest daughter with me I wouldn't have made the mistakes I did by just having my youngest one.I think the mistakes I did make I was trying to fill the void of not having my family together.Even though my life is happy and I have a wonderful husband who supports me in all my decisions I still have a whole in my heart and will until my baby is home where she belongs-with her family....As to what she wants:I don't know I haven't had the courage to ask because I am afraid of what her answer might be,that she wants to stay there and you know I can deal with that but I feel as though we should be allowed unsupervised visitation so she can make up her mind on how she sees us living at home,not on how she sees us on one day a couple hours at a time trip once or twice a year.She just turned 10 this month and I know she wants to be around her brother and sister,but about me?I don't know..Once again I am sorry for making this so long,but you are the first person to listen to me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your advice and help,I have also found out that the state of Alabama is a one party state,which is good for me..S thank you again and still would like to from any one who can help and if you get me more info.I would really apprecaite it,Sincerly,Broken Hearted Mother.
  6. #6
    Ukiah Guest
    #3.I shall have supervised visitation with the child until such time as she can demonstrate to the grandmother that she has the stability and maturity to have unsupervised visitation with the child.

    4.I shall not remove the minor child from the grandmother until such time as the grandmother agrees that I am of sufficient maturity and responsibility to do so.Until that time,I am enjoined and restrained from removing the child from the custody of the grandmother and from Lake County Florida.

    MY RESPONSE; THIS ONE right here is what gives you hope in getting your daughter back... PROVE to the grandmother that you are mature and responsible enough to have the child unsupervised. If you have to, go to court and ask for more time with the child. You haven't taken the child out of state without written permission since this was signed, and the courts will recognize that you are abiding by the stipulation.

    5.I am to keep the grandmother informed of my current address and phone number and her working address and phone number at all time and shall notify her of any changes within three days.

    MY RESPONSE; Have you been doing this? Show it in court, so that you can get more unsupervised time with your daughter.

    At the time of this I had refused to sign because I was afraid I was signing my rights away,but I had their attorney and the social worker involved tell me if I didn't sign it the judge would make me.I know now he couldn't have,but that day I didn't know.

    MY RESPONSE; Actually, if you didn't sign it the Judge wouldn't make you, he would sign in your place, this would have shown you to be defiant in the face of the court, which could have hurt you more than you already were.

    In response to getting files and medical and school records:How can I?

    MY RESPONSE; That is YOUR child, they can't deny you copies. Look up the codes, print them out along with your ID, and her Birth Certificate, make copies, and go down to the office (or Fax it to them)to show that you are who you say you are.

    And will theses people let me have them without their permission and who do I see to get them?

    MY RESPONSE; Records Dept, in the individual offices.

    I have the death cerificate with the sisters name and that she had it put down as he was divorced,who do I talk to or take it to?

    MY RESPONSE; keep it with all your other copies to have until further notice by the attorney you'll be retaining when you get to the point of nor being hurt anymore.


    Most of them tell me theres nothing they can do or laugh at me like I'm supose to know the law like they do.

    When they do that, laugh back at them ad tell them they could have made a lot of money from you, but you'll have to take your business elsewhere. Don't let it get to you. If you keep looking, you'll find a lawyer who's willing to take on the case. BUT you have to be willing to do what it takes to get your daughter back.

    I am truly sorry you wre unable to have anymore children.

    MY RESPONSE; there are medical reasons why I can't and then there are personal reasons as well. The personal reason is that I was so scared to bring another child into this crazy world and possibly have to go thru what my daughter is going thru now, I couldn't do that to any other children, even to have that other child see me go thru the depression and everything else I went through, it would not have been a good situation either way for another child to go thru. The bright side of it is that I can focus all my time and energy on one child, oh, and there are no fights, I know who took that last cookie, if it wasn't me... So there are benefits to having an only child.


    As to what she wants:I don't know I haven't had the courage to ask because I am afraid of what her answer might be,that she wants to stay there and you know I can deal with that but I feel as though we should be allowed unsupervised visitation so she can make up her mind on how she sees us living at home,not on how she sees us on one day a couple hours at a time trip once or twice a year.She just turned 10 this month and I know she wants to be around her brother and sister,but about me?I don't know..

    MY RESPONSE; I would strongly suggest that you go back to court and request unsupervised out of state visits. Use what you have told me, it is from your heart, and hopefully they will listen. If not, get tough. HOw else are you going to get to know your child, and have the chance to fnd out what she wants?

    I have also found out that the state of Alabama is a one party state,which is good for me.

    MY RESPONSE; GREAT!! Go to Radio Shack or some place like that that sells conversation recorders, tape players, such.... The conversation recording device should cost around $25.00. the tape player/recorder, is going to be the most expensive...$70.00 - BUT WELL WORTH IT!! Get one that is voice actuated that has a cord (instead of an adapter) that plugs into the wall. (I just replaced mine today, so the amounts are fresh in my mind)

    you may need to get a phone jack with more than three jacks in it to hook up the recorder to.OH, don't forget to get blank tapes... When you talk to them, DO NOT TELL THEM, since your state is a one party state, you don't have to.

    You may also want to get a small tape recorder to take with you to work, incase they call you there, and get a small mic that suction-cups to the back of the ear piece.

    Again you are welcome. I'm glad I could listen when no one else would, I know how it feels to be alone. but I tell you, this board is great for sounding off in, and asking questions! When you do, next time, you may want to use more paragraphs, that way it won't be as confusing and you'll get more responses, some on the board won't disect long posts like I have. I hope I didn't offend you by asking that.

    Good luck to you,

    Ukiah


    [Edited by Ukiah on 02-23-2001 at 08:59 PM]

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