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  1. #1
    Rolewine is offline Junior Member
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    Question How can I remove my boyfriend from my home if he doesn't want to leave.

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

    My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 2.5 years. About 2 years ago, due to his financial situation and my loneliness, I asked him to move into my home with me. I should state that it was a mutual asking for the living arrangements. At the time, we wanted to live with each other. My boyfriend was not financially able to continue to live on his own at that time b/c of his profession and debt at that time. My husband of many years had recently passed away.

    Both my boyfriend and I are in our mid 50's.The house is paid off and fully in my name. There was never an agreement between us that he would pay rent or anything like that when he moved in. We were going to live together as boyfriend and girlfriend. Not tenant/landlord.

    My boyfriend has paid some of the household bills while he has lived there and also made home improvements to the house and yard.

    For at least the last six months, we do nothing but fight and argue. I want to end our relationship and move him out of the house. He doesn't want to leave even though he says himself there is absolutely no future for us together.

    For at least the last month, he has made my life nothing but miserable and I want him to move out of my house. He refuses. He said that I have to evict him and that's going to take at least 60 days before they move him out of the house. He has family members that he can move in with, he just wants to continue to live with me. Not sure why when neither one of us want to be with the other person anymore.I think it is because he is still not financially stable enough to live on his own.

    How can I get him to move out of my house ASAP? We have no Landlord/Tenant relationship and he was never asked or volunteered to pay rent. We live as a couple in the home. When he had extra funds, he paid some of the utility bills or bought groceries. What I'm trying to point out, is that we were living as a couple with the intention of having a future together, not any type of rental agreement for him to stay there. He has no furniture or any other basic belongings at my house except his clothes.

    Can I put his things out on the porch or in one section of the house today, change the locks today and give him a specific time frame to remove his belongings or they will be destroyed....or do I have to go through a formal eviction process to get him out of the house. We don't love each other and there's no future for us now, so I don't see why I can't just kick him to the curb.

    Any information would be helpful and appreciated.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
  2. #2
    sandyclaus is offline Senior Member
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    Actually, if it is your residence, and he moved in with you, then regardless of whether or not rent was ever paid or agreed, your B/F has acquired the status of a tenant.

    You cannot lock him out, or throw out his property. You will need to proceed, using your state's LL/T laws to evict him. Start with a notice to terminate tenancy, and if he fails to comply with that, then you will need to file for eviction through the courts.
  3. #3
    Gail in Georgia is offline Senior Member
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    Your boyfriend may not be a tenant but he has established residency there. Thus you can't just "kick him to the curb".

    Best choices:

    1. "Buy" him out of your place; i.e., offer to pay his moving costs to some other relative that will agree to take him in. This "cash for keys" often works faster than a court ordered eviction.

    2. Begin the process of legally evicting him:

    [url=http://www.nwls.org/landlord.htm]Landlord/Tenant[/url]

    Gail
  4. #4
    Rolewine is offline Junior Member
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    Cool Thank you SandyClaus and Gail in Georgia

    Your advice was very helpful and appreciated. Especially the link to start the process. Any loopholes? Length of residency, not using as their legal address, anything like that?
    Thanks again!
  5. #5
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    No loopholes. He moved in, he is a tenant.
  6. #6
    Rolewine is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy No Loopholes - Kind of figured that

    You would think there would have to be a minimum time limit or something. Are they really a tenant if all they have there is their clothes though? Could I somehow get by with a 'No Contact' order? There isn't any 'joint' property or anything and my house was paid off before he moved in. Somewhat down a different path, but does someone have to physically abuse you to qualify for a PFA or can a PFA be granted for excessive verbal abuse. No threats of physical violence during the verbal abuse, but sometimes the verbal abuse hurts worse and it seems like cruel and unusual punishment that I have to put up with because I let him move in with me. It seems like now, he has free rein to use and abuse me (mentally), and, any and everything in my home. I just know it's going to get worse going down the eviction route b/c I can't buy him out. I think he would become an extortionist then...Pun intended. Surely there has to be something that legally doesn't allow an ex-boyfriend or acquaintance to just have free run of your property and treat you anyway they want....as long as they don't physically touch you or 'deliberately' damage your property. I feel like I opened up a Roach Motel....Roaches check in....but they don't check out.
  7. #7
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    If there's a time limit, it's a month or so. He's been there for 2 years. He's definitely a tenant. Give him 30 days written notice TODAY to be moved out by April 1, and until then, don't speak to him or listen to him.

    You don't have to allow him into your bedroom, get a lock for it. Remove anything valuable in the house to that room. You don't have to allow him to eat your food, get a small fridge for your room and keep it in there. You can't cut off his access to electricity, heat, or water, or the kitchen or bathroom or any of his belongings (they can be removed to the guest room). You can cut off the cable/internet if you want (of course you will suffer for that too). A month is a very short time compared to how long you've been putting up with him. You can survive. If he reacts by damaging your property, document very well so you can sue him to recover the repair costs down the road.

    If he has NOT moved out on his own by 4/1, you go right to court and file for eviction right away. I would suggest hiring a lawyer for the court part, especially since you are so emotionally invested in the situation. With professional help and timely action, you could have him out within 2 weeks of filing.
    Last edited by ecmst12; 03-01-2012 at 09:10 AM.
  8. #8
    tuffbrk is offline Senior Member
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    Hon - stop trying to find an easy "out." It is difficult enough for victims of violence to obtain no contact orders as it is. I'm sure that you would not appreciate it if he went and filed a no contact order on you and had you removed from your own home.

    Begin the proceedings. It will protect you from him filing for domestic abuse against you and it may prod him to do the right thing.

    I had to live with a man that I was divorcing for 3 years. I never knew what I would come home to, what property would be destroyed, what verbal altercations I would have to deal with, etc. I do undertand. It's horrible. But it's for 60 days. Maybe you can spend time at a friend's home here and there to help the time pass more quickly. Just be on guard in the event that he loses it and starts destroying or removing property. If so, then go to the police for assistance.

    Good luck.

    P.S. Just read ecmst's post - so in short - "Ditto!"
  9. #9
    Rolewine is offline Junior Member
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    Cool

    Thanks again to you both. I'll take your advice.
  10. #10
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
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    I suggest that you video tape your entire place prior to giving him notice TODAY. It is imperative that you give WRITTEN notice today, otherwise, you are looking at May 1st.

    In addition, I would do a mail change to a PO Box for the time being.

    Keep offsite any valuables and the video tape. Have handy an recording devices (some phones can do this) in case it gets ugly.

    Have a code word that you can use with a friend if you need interference and it doesn't look good for calling 911.
  11. #11
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
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    You can also remind him that it if gets to you filing for eviction, THAT appears on his background check for future apartment rentals.
  12. #12
    Rolewine is offline Junior Member
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    Smile

    Excellent Advice! I'll definitely use it. Thanks.would never of thought of the eviction record for future apartment rentals!
  13. #13
    FarmerJ is offline Senior Member
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    Rolewine the rental data industry out there in the last 15 to maybe 20 yrs is incredible, When we were first starting out with rentals there was a few but limited number of options for Landlords to screen us and lots Landlords rode by the seat of pants since it wasnt often that they got burned, Now its so different a tenant can be taken to court by a landlord on one coast or in one area and find out the hard way that moving doesnt hide anything , all these data base firms out there that scour civil court records for information to re sell via tenant screening is incredible and the thing is that lots landlords simply dont care why a tenant was taken to court for non pay or why a tenant overstayed a proper notice to move. What they learn many times can be be deciding factor in refusing a applicant since they figure fair odds are history will repeat and they wont want to chance it. As suggested do rent a PO box this way mail you reduce risk of mail vanishing like mail from the courts related to getting him out if it comes down to it.
  14. #14
    davidmcbeth3 is offline Senior Member
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    Talk to him.

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