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  1. #1
    lrohner is offline Junior Member
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    How do I evict my son?

    What is the name of your state? Connecticut

    My soon-to-be 19 year old son lives with me. He recently dropped out of high school (2 mos before the end of senior year). When that happened, I made it very clear to him that he needed to get back into school or at least pursue a GED OR get a job and start paying rent. I also let him know that if I saw him start living up to his responsibilities and pitching in around the house (mowing the lawn, cleaning his room, taking out the trash) that I would reconsider the rent issue.

    Instead of any of those three things happening, I've got a kid that works 18 hours per week and spends the rest of him time spending money on his car, watching TV, sleeping, playing video games and playing basketball or soccer. In his spare time, he mouths off at me, curses at me and basically tells me that he will do whatever he wants.

    I want him out and he refuses to leave. I'm in the middle of moving right now so am between two houses. He refuses to return either key and when I'm at one house, he goes and hangs out at the other house.

    What are my rights? How do I legally get him out? When I asked him for the house key yesterday, he cursed at me, "bumped" me with his car, punched me in my upper arm and told me I would never get the key back. I really don't have the money to outfit what amounts to 7 exterior doors between the two houses with new locks. Help!!!
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    What you do is press charges for him battering you with his car, committing domestic violence and send his little butt to jail with a restraining order on him when he gets out. or you can file for eviction. Easy peasy.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    lrohner is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks

    Thanks all for your responses. As my Dad used to say, "Hindsight is 20/20". Agreed I would do things differently if I could go back in time, but that's not quite possible.

    I'm trying to determine what the Connecticut laws are, as I've read that in many states you have to give some kind of written notice. I've also read that you don't need to go through the eviction process for a family member. If anyone knows where I can get the particulars for getting him out, I would much appreciate it.
  4. #4
    las365 is offline Senior Member
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    [url]http://www.jud.ct.gov/Publications/hm014.pdf[/url]

    OP, you seem unconcerned about your son's physical aggression toward you. I hope you will take it seriously and take steps to protect yourself.
  5. #5
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    You need to evict any tenant of the house. He is a tenant. Hence, he needs evicted. The only family member you cannot evict is a spouse or underage child. A spouse requires a family court action (restraining order or divorce court order stating you have sole possession of the home) and an underage child you are legally responsible for unless you have your parental rights terminated.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  6. #6
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    You need to evict any tenant of the house. He is a tenant. Hence, he needs evicted. The only family member you cannot evict is a spouse or underage child. A spouse requires a family court action (restraining order or divorce court order stating you have sole possession of the home) and an underage child you are legally responsible for unless you have your parental rights terminated.
    While this is absolutely true, the odds of your 19 year old son knowing that you cannot kick him out without following proper proceedure is fairly slim.

    My advice is to throw him out and change the locks on both homes. He needs a really good dose of reality.
  7. #7
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    While this is absolutely true, the odds of your 19 year old son knowing that you cannot kick him out without following proper proceedure is fairly slim.

    My advice is to throw him out and change the locks on both homes. He needs a really good dose of reality.
    And if he talks to anyone and finds out it is illegal then what? Mom has broken the law and she would end up paying for it if he pursues it. Which if 19 year old is unhappy enough, he will pursue it. Your advice is bordering on illegal.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  8. #8
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    While this is absolutely true, the odds of your 19 year old son knowing that you cannot kick him out without following proper proceedure is fairly slim.

    My advice is to throw him out and change the locks on both homes. He needs a really good dose of reality.
    And on the off chance that the 19 year old either knows or then finds out that what you just suggested was illegal, what would you then advise mom to do?
  9. #9
    las365 is offline Senior Member
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    The link I posted above is a "how to" guide for LL's in OP's state to do an eviction. She wants to do this the right way legally, and I agree that she should.

    This may sound odd, but I actually think it's good parenting to do a formal eviction. Give the little slacker a dose of the real world and what he has to look forward to over and over again if he won't take responsibility for his own support.

    I just want OP to be careful Her son sounds volaitle and potentailly dangerous.
  10. #10
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    And on the off chance that the 19 year old either knows or then finds out that what you just suggested was illegal, what would you then advise mom to do?
    Its not illegal in a criminal sense, so mom is not going to jail. Its a civil issue. The police might tell her that she has to let her deadbeat son back into the house, the police might not. They may choose not to get involved. Once he is gone for 30 days its a moot point anyway. They might even choose to arrest him for domestic violence if mom explains to them WHY she threw him out.

    Otherwise, sonny boy would have to get an attorney and sue her civilly.

    Yes, she can certainly go the legal route to evict him. However, what might happen during the 30 days that they have to co-exist in the home? If you go back and re-read the last part of the original thread, you will see that he has already escalated to physical confrontations.

    Mom really should have him arrested for DV and get a restraining order against him. However, if she is like most mothers, she won't be prepared to do that quite yet. However, she does have the right to protect herself and her property.
  11. #11
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Its not illegal in a criminal sense, so mom is not going to jail. Its a civil issue. The police might tell her that she has to let her deadbeat son back into the house, the police might not. They may choose not to get involved. Once he is gone for 30 days its a moot point anyway. They might even choose to arrest him for domestic violence if mom explains to them WHY she threw him out.

    Otherwise, sonny boy would have to get an attorney and sue her civilly.

    Yes, she can certainly go the illegal route to evict him. However, what might happen during the 30 days that they have to co-exist in the home? If you go back and re-read the last part of the original thread, you will see that he has already escalated to physical confrontations.

    Mom really should have him arrested for DV and get a restraining order against him. However, if she is like most mothers, she won't be prepared to do that quite yet. However, she does have the right to protect herself and her property.

    And mom has OPTIONS to deal with how it escalated as she has been told. You telling her to engage in an illegal eviction IS NOT correct, not proper and NOT within the terms of this site. Come on, LD, I know apparently something is bothering you but to give advice that does NOT follow the law and the legal way of doing things is not what you usually do.
    Sonny boy WOULD NOT have to get an attorney. He could take her to small claims court. He could go pro se. As for your statement that she can go the legal route and then giving an excuse -- we are not here to tell people to skirt the law or do things that run counter to statute. You know better than that or at least I give you more credit than that.

    She has a right to protect herself by filing for a restraining order and eviction. Both those items. She does not have a right to just change the locks on the doors. not legally. By your theory she also has a right to get a gun and shoot him if he tries to come back home -- because that would be protecting herself and her property -- that would ALSO be ILLEGAL.
    Last edited by Ohiogal; 05-18-2008 at 09:48 AM.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  12. #12
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    I find it interesting that in just a few short months your son would undergo such a change in personality. Your other thread about this same son you described him as an ideal child...now he is a waste of space...interesting...


    lrohner
    Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007
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    Don't Think So

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The police were nosing around at 4:00am because of a hit and run involving a Bronco -- not the car thefts. The night the hit-and-run happened, "Junior" had dinner at home with me and his girlfriend after attending her soccer game in the afternoon. He was then in for the night as his girlfriend drove herself home -- in her car. "Junior" didn't leave the house until 6:00am, which is when he discovered the policewoman in my driveway nosing around my car. And trust me -- I'm not out breaking into automobiles, so I still have no explanation for why they were nosing about in my property. I fully understand why they were looking at his.

    "Junior" just turned 18 last week and is my youngest, so I am well aware that teenagers don't always make the right choices. "Junior" is a conscientious student, is captain of the varsity soccer team, also participates in varsity basketball and track (which means he has very little free time), makes his own spending money by working a part-time job, does volunteer work and has never been in trouble with the law. That said, I'm not completely trusting. I do monitor his bank account and purchases, I admit to snooping his room and his car (and his sisters when they were his age), and monitor where he is and who he is with. Quite frankly, when he's not working, volunteering or playing ball, he's usually at my house or his girlfriend's house -- and I've known her parents for almost 30 years. Very nice family. He has a very, very small circle of friends that he associates with (and I very literally mean 2 or 3 boys) and doesn't attend all of the teen parties and things as he refuses to be around alcohol -- and most of the kids his age are out drinking in their spare time.

    As I stated, knowing this PD, they are most likely out harassing ANY teenage boy, no matter the description. I don't believe for one minute it was limited to "Junior" or his friend. When my middle daughter was his age, she was pulled over by the police three times in one week (really freaked her out) for no reason. She was given no citations, warnings, nor any explanations. And it never happened after that. Actually, when it happened to her, I thought it was just because some male police officer wanted to talk to her -- she's a stunning blonde haired, blue eyed girl.

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