How to terminate my ex-husbands rights

[nikiboo]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa

My ex-husband abandoned my daughter, son, and I in 2005. I filed for divorce and was legally divorced in June of 2006. Due to him having drug problems, I was given full custody and the right to allow him visitation as I deemed necessary. He did not show up to any of the divorce proceedings. He last saw my children in April of 2007. He has a founded child neglect charge against my son from that date. I told him he could see the kids with supervised visits at his cost, never has he attempted to see them. I do receive child support through garnishment but have not had any contact with him since April of 2007. I am getting married in 6 weeks. My boyfriend and I have been together since Nov. of 2006. He has raised these children. My children call him daddy, he financially supports them, takes them to and from school. He loves them and wants to adopt them. I do not know how to contact their father to ask him to voluntary relinquish his rights, but want to terminate them. How can I do this and what is the process?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa

My ex-husband abandoned my daughter, son, and I in 2005. I filed for divorce and was legally divorced in June of 2006. Due to him having drug problems, I was given full custody and the right to allow him visitation as I deemed necessary. He did not show up to any of the divorce proceedings. He last saw my children in April of 2007. He has a founded child neglect charge against my son from that date. I told him he could see the kids with supervised visits at his cost, never has he attempted to see them. I do receive child support through garnishment but have not had any contact with him since April of 2007. I am getting married in 6 weeks. My boyfriend and I have been together since Nov. of 2006. He has raised these children. My children call him daddy, he financially supports them, takes them to and from school. He loves them and wants to adopt them. I do not know how to contact their father to ask him to voluntary relinquish his rights, but want to terminate them. How can I do this and what is the process?

Since he is paying child support, he hasn't really abandoned the children in the full legal sense. Therefore you will need his agreement to terminate his parental rights and allow the adoption, and he may not cooperate with that.

Most likely you would also have to be married for at least a year before a court would consider an adoption.

Leave it be for now. Give your marriage a chance to prove its going to be a solid one, before considering adoption. You don't want to be coming back here in a few years asking how to undo an adoption, because that cannot be done.