Husband wants restraining order against wifes boyfriend. Indiana

[danny7985]

My question involves restraining orders in the State of Indiana.

Ok so here is the deal. I am the boyfriend. My girlfriend is going through a divorce. Here and I have known each other for seven years now and I know the soon to be ex-husband very well. When he found out that me and her were dating he flipped out and told me he didnt want me around the kids. He later calmed down and called me and told me he didn't want me around the kids because he doesn't want them to see mommy with a new boyfriend so soon. He told me that it was not permanent. I have respected that rule for a temporary basis and as of now have not once seen the kids since he said not to, except twice when he had the kids and was nearby me he told them they could say hi to me. Though twice now he has flipped out for no reason and told her he would get a restraining order against me for the kids. The most recent one was today and he says I can never be around the kids again. He says I will hurt the kids but when he is in a reasonable mood he says he knows I wouldn't harm the kids. He knows I love the kids and the kids love me. In fact his kids have even told him that they miss me.

So my questions are as follows
In Indiana under these circumstances what does he need to get the restraining order?
Now if he has to prove the kids are in danger he will obviously have to make something up about me. How will my girlfriend and I need to go about fighting this?

By the way I have no intentions of seeing the kids anytime soon but obviously I would not date a girl under the assumption that I would never be allowed to see her when she was around the kids, who do live with her.

 

[Proserpina]

My question involves restraining orders in the State of Indiana.

Ok so here is the deal. I am the boyfriend. My girlfriend is going through a divorce. Here and I have known each other for seven years now and I know the soon to be ex-husband very well. When he found out that me and her were dating he flipped out and told me he didnt want me around the kids. He later calmed down and called me and told me he didn't want me around the kids because he doesn't want them to see mommy with a new boyfriend so soon. He told me that it was not permanent. I have respected that rule for a temporary basis and as of now have not once seen the kids since he said not to, except twice when he had the kids and was nearby me he told them they could say hi to me. Though twice now he has flipped out for no reason and told her he would get a restraining order against me for the kids. The most recent one was today and he says I can never be around the kids again. He says I will hurt the kids but when he is in a reasonable mood he says he knows I wouldn't harm the kids. He knows I love the kids and the kids love me. In fact his kids have even told him that they miss me.

So my questions are as follows
In Indiana under these circumstances what does he need to get the restraining order?
Now if he has to prove the kids are in danger he will obviously have to make something up about me. How will my girlfriend and I need to go about fighting this?

By the way I have no intentions of seeing the kids anytime soon but obviously I would not date a girl under the assumption that I would never be allowed to see her when she was around the kids, who do live with her.

I see justification for a restraining order based upon what you've said here. There does need to be some sort of threat, danger or harm. He might be able to get a "no paramour" question for the duration of the divorce though - but since you seem to be abiding by that basic premise anyway it seems pretty moot.

I'm going to ask a question though, because it happened to a family member (and I'm sure it's happened to other posters, too).

Is there even the SLIMMEST chance that your girlfriend has (out of anger, frustration maybe?) said something along the lines of "Yeah? Well me and Bob are gonna move away and you're never gonna see the kids again"?

The other thing is...seriously, it's NOT smart for Mom to be exposing the kids to another man before she's divorced.

 

[Antigone*]

I see justification for a restraining order based upon what you've said here. There does need to be some sort of threat, danger or harm. He might be able to get a "no paramour" question for the duration of the divorce though - but since you seem to be abiding by that basic premise anyway it seems pretty moot.

I'm going to ask a question though, because it happened to a family member (and I'm sure it's happened to other posters, too).

Is there even the SLIMMEST chance that your girlfriend has (out of anger, frustration maybe?) said something along the lines of "Yeah? Well me and Bob are gonna move away and you're never gonna see the kids again"?

The other thing is...seriously, it's NOT smart for Mom to be exposing the kids to another man before she's divorced.

This might actually hurt mom.

 

[danny7985]

Yeah I am not trying to be around the kids right now. Nor anytime soon. Alot because I know he will start drama and that is not good for the kids. He is always starting fights in front of the kids and this will just be one more excuse to. He has already been reported to the police for harassment. I have no criminal record whatsoever (while he does have a domestic battery in front of a child) and this guy is likely to make stuff up. I just don't want a restraining order filed against me when I am not a criminal of any sort, have no criminal record. And on top of all that I am not even around the kids right now. And also a restraining order would take freedom away from me right? What if we happen to be in the same store at the same time? I would have to leave right? Or for example it is common for her to have her mom watch her kids so we can go out on a date. I then pick her up at her moms house, I stay in my car and kids stay in the house. This is how we have always done it. With a restraining order I wouldn't be able to do all that right? You guys understand where I am coming from right?

 

[danny7985]

Is there even the SLIMMEST chance that your girlfriend has (out of anger, frustration maybe?) said something along the lines of "Yeah? Well me and Bob are gonna move away and you're never gonna see the kids again"?

you probably wont believe me but
honestly no there isn't
he has told him he can come get the kids anytime he wants to
she has never turned him down to come pick up the kids, not once
she documents every visit too

 

[danny7985]

I see justification for a restraining order based upon what you've said here. There does need to be some sort of threat, danger or harm. He might be able to get a "no paramour" question for the duration of the divorce though - but since you seem to be abiding by that basic premise anyway it seems pretty moot.

Ok but so to get one for all eternity he would have to prove harm right?

 

[danny7985]

ok so I just looked up the no paramour thing.
I now know what it is.
though I can not find any information about it in regards to my state, Indiana
can someone provide me with a link please?
And I am not at all worried about him getting something like that
I know he has never heard of it nor can he afford a lawyer to tell him about it

he can't afford a lawyer on account he hasnt ever held a steady job his entire life. partly on account his pot habit, no point in mentioning that though since drug tests are so easy to pass. That is a tough one to prove.

I am worried about him telling lies against me saying that I am a harm to the kids.

 

[Just Blue]

ok so I just looked up the no paramour thing.
I now know what it is.
though I can not find any information about it in regards to my state, Indiana
can someone provide me with a link please?
And I am not at all worried about him getting something like that
I know he has never heard of it nor can he afford a lawyer to tell him about it

he can't afford a lawyer on account he hasnt ever held a steady job his entire life. partly on account his pot habit, no point in mentioning that though since drug tests are so easy to pass. That is a tough one to prove.

I am worried about him telling lies against me saying that I am a harm to the kids.

Yeah...Cash poor Dad is unlikely to seek FREE legal assistance. Just not gonna happen.

 

[danny7985]

ok you dont even know the guy
i do

can we just stick to legal advice here?
Do you know what it is like to be told that a restraining order will be filed against you? To be told that said person will lie about? Say you are a criminal? To say that you are abusive to children?

 

[Just Blue]

ok you dont even know the guy
i do

can we just stick to legal advice here?

I realize you "know the guy". You are boffing his wife.

 

[danny7985]

never once while they were together

and for that I deserve to have lies told saying that I abuse children? To have such things told to police? What kind of a forum is this? I thought this was a legal forum, not Maury.

 

[danny7985]

I came to this forum trying to find out what to do when someone accuses another of something that is not going on whatsoever? I am no child abuser. And I have no intentions of going anywhere near the children in the near future.

 

[SESmama]

Easy...

Stay away from mom and the kids while she is divorcing. Once the divorce is final then go back to dating her.