I Need Help for My Mom...

[sjohnson1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

My mom was diagnosed with Dementia in July 2008. In Oct 2008 my sister persuaded my mom to change her Will, Financial Assets, POA into her name only. She had my name removed from all legal documents (Will, POA for Health Decisions and Finances, etc). The attorney came to my mom's home for the signing. The new Will and POA has been 'filed' in the statement of Wills.

In December 2008, my mom had an additional POA changed into the name of a former rent tenant of hers.

(It gets worse). My sister tried to over turn it by having a back dated POA and having it notarized by a neighbor who is a licensed notary. The neighbor refused to partake in what was 'suspicious'. A week later my sister had my mom committed into a psychiatric facility (Sheppard Pratt Hospital, Baltimore MD). She falsified information stating that my mom was a harm to herself and others and created a list of other untrue issues regarding my mom.

My sister cleverly hid this from me and other family members, giving us the impression that all was well with my mom; and never telling us that she was in the hospital. It was my younger sister who confessed what was going on.

As a result of the false information given to the doctors, my mom was placed on an anti-psychotic drug called Haloperidol (Haldol), which is a mind altering drug and it is clearly stated that it should not be given to elderly patients with Dementia, for it can cause death. Most deaths are caused by heart issues.

I had her taken off of the meds. Since then she has been more coherent, she is able to walk and has far more energy.

I have verbal attests from my mom's doctors that she is not psychotic. They had made their determination based upon the information that my sister had fabricated in commit my mom. My mom's primary care physician has told me that he suspected there were untruths, but he was concerned about being wrong in not believing what my sister was telling him.

I was able to speak with the hospital social worker who shared that my mom expressed her fears of my sister (who had her committed) having control of her finances. My daughter and I also have hand written letters by my mom of these same fears that she wrote to us in 2006. We also have a copy of a typed letter, signed by my sister in Oct 2006, where she threatened to have my mom committed and declared incompetent. My mom suspected her of using my mom's home as collateral; which resulted in disagreements between them.

In addition, there is a lawyer who also has a depostion of this same information which my mom shared with him in 2006 when she obtained him to write her Will and POA to have my daughter as I as trustees over her entire estate. The problem is that we cannot afford to even talk with this lawyer. We are currently in the process in paying him for a total of 2 hours of telephone conversations which we simply cannot afford to pay. He shared with us that we would have to file for guardianship of my mom, but that will cost $5000. We don't have that amount of money.

Right now, my sister has full control of all of my mom's assets, even the deed to her home which is paid in full. She is spending money like there is no tomorrow. I have no idea what my mom's total assets are and I'm concerned if my mom will have any funds for her care.

Please advise us. What can we do? This issue is so bizarre; I can't believe that it is happening. There's more but it's just too much to type.

Thank you so much just for 'listening'.

 

[Proserpina]

Just one minor note - Haloperidol can be used (carefully) in dementia patients (usually to treat agitation); there is a much-acknowledged increased risk of the serious (sometimes fatal) side effects, but it's not contraindicated per se unless the patient is in a dementia-related psychosis.

Hang around for those experienced in elder law to stop by if they can help you

 

[sjohnson1]

Thank you so much for replying. I found this forum via a google search. Your reply has given me assurance that this is a real place.

May I share this?

When my mom was on the Haloperidol, she was experiencing the following:

1. Her Equilibrium was off
2. She was having dizziness and headaches each day
3. She had constipation
4. She was extremely lethargic; dosed off frequently; far more than usual
5. On the 7th week of use I received a call from her in home day care provider and was told that my mom was unable to walk
6. In addition, she was unable to move without assistance; no longer able to go up or down stairs

I persisted with her doctors about removing this medication from her regime. At first they admitted the dose was high and the psychiatrist even felt that she should not have been treated for psychotic reasons. But the 'false' communication from my sister was the catalyst. They then lowered the dose from 5mg Q-day to 2mg. Her symptoms did not improve and I persisted in having the Haldol stopped. Her primary care physician agreed and then took her off of it.

After being off of the Haloperidol for over a week, my mom is now walking, talking, alert, and more herself; she's laughing and smiling again.

It was my 'gut' feeling that she should not have been given this medication. It 'appears' that I was correct.

I still thank you for your support and your words of comfort. It means far more than you know. It eases my heart to know that 'someone' is 'listening' to me. I'm so 'lost' with this family crisis. You've thrown me a life line in the form of a 'listening ear'. God bless you. I mean this most sincerely.

 

[BlondiePB]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland

My mom was diagnosed with Dementia in July 2008. In Oct 2008 my sister persuaded my mom to change her Will, Financial Assets, POA into her name only. She had my name removed from all legal documents (Will, POA for Health Decisions and Finances, etc). The attorney came to my mom's home for the signing. The new Will and POA has been 'filed' in the statement of Wills.

In December 2008, my mom had an additional POA changed into the name of a former rent tenant of hers.

(It gets worse). My sister tried to over turn it by having a back dated POA and having it notarized by a neighbor who is a licensed notary. The neighbor refused to partake in what was 'suspicious'. A week later my sister had my mom committed into a psychiatric facility (Sheppard Pratt Hospital, Baltimore MD). She falsified information stating that my mom was a harm to herself and others and created a list of other untrue issues regarding my mom.

My sister cleverly hid this from me and other family members, giving us the impression that all was well with my mom; and never telling us that she was in the hospital. It was my younger sister who confessed what was going on.

As a result of the false information given to the doctors, my mom was placed on an anti-psychotic drug called Haloperidol (Haldol), which is a mind altering drug and it is clearly stated that it should not be given to elderly patients with Dementia, for it can cause death. Most deaths are caused by heart issues.

I had her taken off of the meds. Since then she has been more coherent, she is able to walk and has far more energy.

I have verbal attests from my mom's doctors that she is not psychotic. They had made their determination based upon the information that my sister had fabricated in commit my mom. My mom's primary care physician has told me that he suspected there were untruths, but he was concerned about being wrong in not believing what my sister was telling him.

I was able to speak with the hospital social worker who shared that my mom expressed her fears of my sister (who had her committed) having control of her finances. My daughter and I also have hand written letters by my mom of these same fears that she wrote to us in 2006. We also have a copy of a typed letter, signed by my sister in Oct 2006, where she threatened to have my mom committed and declared incompetent. My mom suspected her of using my mom's home as collateral; which resulted in disagreements between them.

In addition, there is a lawyer who also has a depostion of this same information which my mom shared with him in 2006 when she obtained him to write her Will and POA to have my daughter as I as trustees over her entire estate. The problem is that we cannot afford to even talk with this lawyer. We are currently in the process in paying him for a total of 2 hours of telephone conversations which we simply cannot afford to pay. He shared with us that we would have to file for guardianship of my mom, but that will cost $5000. We don't have that amount of money.

Right now, my sister has full control of all of my mom's assets, even the deed to her home which is paid in full. She is spending money like there is no tomorrow. I have no idea what my mom's total assets are and I'm concerned if my mom will have any funds for her care.

Please advise us. What can we do? This issue is so bizarre; I can't believe that it is happening. There's more but it's just too much to type.

Thank you so much just for 'listening'.

Check with some other attorneys that do guardianships. A lot will give you an initial free consult. You can also report sis to Adult Protective Services.

 

[sjohnson1]

Thank you Blondie for replying. I have 'hope' just knowing someone is reading this.

APS is involved. They were called by the hospital social worker before my mom was discharged from Sheppard Pratt. Each time I speak with the worker, she is quite distant, disinterested and actually arrogant with her responses.

I asked the agency to let me speak with her supervisor. They keep tranferring me to "Intake" and from there it's a voice mail.

I guess you can tell why I'm so exasperated. I won't give up. The right path and the right answers are out there. I just have to keep seeking for them. This forum may just be the right path.

God bless you. Thanks again, so very much for taking the time to 'listen' to me.

 

[sjohnson1]

I just wanted to share to anyone who may post tonight.

If I don't respond right away, I will first thing in the morning. I don't want anyone to think that I'm not 'here' or not responsive to your help.

God bless you for everyone who is advising me. You are giving me much hope.

 

[Proserpina]

Many of the symptoms you've noted can be attributed to dementia and other conditions associated with the elderly, and many can be a result of other medications.

With that said it seems that if the Haldol did cause the symptoms, taking your Mom off the drug was the right thing to do and the symptoms have stopped - if I'm reading it right, then it's a good thing all around and no lasting harm has been done.

Either way, you've taken the step of trying to sort it all out, and that's the most important thing regardless of what happens after this.

Another thing to consider what stage of dementia Mom was in when everything was changed the first time around; patients in earlier stages are often able to do these things provided they understand what's going on, and in that case the burden of proof would be on you to prove that she was incompetent via medical history etc.

 

[sjohnson1]

Many of the symptoms you've noted can be attributed to dementia and other conditions associated with the elderly, and many can be a result of other medications.

With that said it seems that if the Haldol did cause the symptoms, taking your Mom off the drug was the right thing to do and the symptoms have stopped - if I'm reading it right, then it's a good thing all around and no lasting harm has been done.

Either way, you've taken the step of trying to sort it all out, and that's the most important thing regardless of what happens after this.

Another thing to consider what stage of dementia Mom was in when everything was changed the first time around; patients in earlier stages are often able to do these things provided they understand what's going on, and in that case the burden of proof would be on you to prove that she was incompetent via medical history etc.

Thank you! Again you are giving me much hope in this.

My mom's short term memory comes and goes. It was quite evident in June of last year when she was diagnosed.

However, I have something. When speaking with the Sheppard Pratt hospital social worker who has my mom's case, she shared that my shared over and over, that she did not trust my sister with her finances.

My mom 'knew' that she had signed some papers with my sister, but could not remember what they were about. However, my mom kept calling the bank to check her account balance on a daily basis. My sister told the bank to disregard my mom's calls due to her Dementia.

My sister has and is continuing to use my mom's illness to 'her' advantage, not my mom's.

I have all of the documents that have been changed. There is also an Annunity account that my sister had my mom open up in August 2008 (over $50,000) and my sister has signed herself as the 'sole' beneficiary (100%). She convinced my mom to have her name placed on my mom's checking account which gives her free access to everything my mom has.

I 'must' find out my mom's entire financial status. At this point, I have no idea how much money my mom has neither how much of it, my sister has been spending and upon what.

 

[BlondiePB]

Thank you! Again you are giving me much hope in this.

My mom's short term memory comes and goes. It was quite evident in June of last year when she was diagnosed.

However, I have something. When speaking with the Sheppard Pratt hospital social worker who has my mom's case, she shared that my shared over and over, that she did not trust my sister with her finances.

My mom 'knew' that she had signed some papers with my sister, but could not remember what they were about. However, my mom kept calling the bank to check her account balance on a daily basis. My sister told the bank to disregard my mom's calls due to her Dementia.

My sister has and is continuing to use my mom's illness to 'her' advantage, not my mom's.

I have all of the documents that have been changed. There is also an Annunity account that my sister had my mom open up in August 2008 (over $50,000) and my sister has signed herself as the 'sole' beneficiary (100%). She convinced my mom to have her name placed on my mom's checking account which gives her free access to everything my mom has.

I 'must' find out my mom's entire financial status. At this point, I have no idea how much money my mom has neither how much of it, my sister has been spending and upon what.

How do you plan to find out mom's entire financial status?

 

[sjohnson1]

How do you plan to find out mom's entire financial status?

Hi BlondiPB:

To answer your question, I don't know... I just don't know. I can't obtain anything from the bank without legal documentation.

My daughter and I have the copies of original POA's that my mom assigned to us, but the bank stated we needed to have the originals.

My sister destroyed the originals that my mom had, after she 'changed' my mom's documents into her name only. She purchased a 'shedder' and shedded all of the original documents with my name and my daughter's name.

The lawyer with the 2nd originals that he had my mom sign, will not release them for 'fear' that they may be lost or destroyed. We can't afford to even 'talk' to this lawyer again.

I was able to obtain two items. An original bank statement where my name was with my mom's. And the Annunity account that my sister opened with herself as the sole beneficiary.

I have a strong feeling that there is more. I just don't know how or where to obtain all of her information, which includes, insurance policies, all bank accounts as well as any and all investments if there are any.

I know for a fact that my sister has this information, but she's not being truthful. She's been very clever in covering her tracks (so to speak).

Blondi... thanks. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being here. It's reassuring to know that I am not speaking into 'Cyber thin air.'

God bless you.

 

[BlondiePB]

Hi BlondiPB:

To answer your question, I don't know... I just don't know. I can't obtain anything from the bank without legal documentation.

My daughter and I have the copies of original POA's that my mom assigned to us, but the bank stated we needed to have the originals.

My sister destroyed the originals that my mom had, after she 'changed' my mom's documents into her name only. She purchased a 'shedder' and shedded all of the original documents with my name and my daughter's name.

The lawyer with the 2nd originals that he had my mom sign, will not release them for 'fear' that they may be lost or destroyed. We can't afford to even 'talk' to this lawyer again.

I was able to obtain two items. An original bank statement where my name was with my mom's. And the Annunity account that my sister opened with herself as the sole beneficiary.

I have a strong feeling that there is more. I just don't know how or where to obtain all of her information, which includes, insurance policies, all bank accounts as well as any and all investments if there are any.

I know for a fact that my sister has this information, but she's not being truthful. She's been very clever in covering her tracks (so to speak).

Blondi... thanks. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being here. It's reassuring to know that I am not speaking into 'Cyber thin air.'

God bless you.

Until you have some legal papers in your hands (i.e. guardianship papers), you do not have authorization to mom's info.

As previously suggested, speak with more attorneys. Ask them about reimbursement of legal fees should you be appointed mom's guardian.

Call Adult Protective Services and open up your own case. APS has no obligation to provide you with info from the report made by the hospital's social worker - though an attorney can obtain that info.

Check your state statutes under guardianships to see if there's any info about a POA being ineffective once a petition for guardianship is filed.

 

[sjohnson1]

Until you have some legal papers in your hands (i.e. guardianship papers), you do not have authorization to mom's info.

As previously suggested, speak with more attorneys. Ask them about reimbursement of legal fees should you be appointed mom's guardian.

Call Adult Protective Services and open up your own case.
APS has no obligation to provide you with info from the report made by the hospital's social worker - though an attorney can obtain that info.

Check your state statutes under guardianships to see if there's any info about a POA being ineffective once a petition for guardianship is filed.

Regarding the bolded in your quote above, that's very helpful to know. I never considered that I could file an APS for my mom on my own. I sincerely appreciate this in addition to the rest of the information and for all of the time you taken to advise me.

This has been a very stressful past 8 weeks. You will never know how much you've helped by adding lights along the path of this journey for us. I am so grateful.

I pray that all is well with you and yours and that you will always have ready solutions for whatever challenges that may come your way.

 

[sjohnson1]

I met with the Social Worker at Sheppard Pratt yesterday and later with the doctor who is following up with my mom's care.

The social worker shared that my sister caused much distress and confusion over being my mom's POA. She is going to write a letter for me detailing her concerns for my mom and the issues regarding my mom's fears of my sister having control over her finances.

I will remain in contact with this forum to share updates of our progress and for further legal advice from those who are viewing this thread.

Thank you in advance to any and everyone who shares any further advise.

 

[BlondiePB]

I met with the Social Worker at Sheppard Pratt yesterday and later with the doctor who is following up with my mom's care.

The social worker shared that my sister caused much distress and confusion over being my mom's POA. She is going to write a letter for me detailing her concerns for my mom and the issues regarding my mom's fears of my sister having control over her finances.

I will remain in contact with this forum to share updates of our progress and for further legal advice from those who are viewing this thread.

Thank you in advance to any and everyone who shares any further advise.

Now, hire an attorney.

 

[sjohnson1]

Unfortunately I cant afford to hire an attorney. What can I do on my own to protect my mothers health and assets, when my sister has changed all the documents putting her in charge.

It appears eventhough APS is involved because of Shepard Pratt, they are doing nothing to protect my mom from my sister. The social worker at Shepard Pratt shared with me that my mom told the APS worker how she felt about my sister and she wanted her to have nothing to do with her finances. Also, my sister has repeated things to me that I shared only with the APS worker. The APS worker will not share anything with me about my mom whatsoever but she is communicating with my sister even to the point of telling her about our conversations.

At this point I have been able to get my mother off of the medication that was causing her harm. I received verbal permission from the doctor to take her off this medication and had the nurse throw it out. My sister then takes my mom to another doctor and gets another script for it. I go to that doctor and he agrees she should have never been put on it, but the only reason why he did so, was due to the stories my sister was telling him (that he questioned himself)
How can I ensure my sister will not cause further harm to my mom when she has changed everything to put her in total control. Who do I talk to that can actually lead me in a direction to get something done here. I think my sister is watching her steps for now but this situation has proved she cannot be trusted and I want to keep my mom safe but there seems to be nothing I can do to stop my sister. It seems like I can only step in once she has already started something. How can I stop her from having my mom involuntarily committed again? From lying to doctors to get her put on meds that keep her sedated and can harm her? As stated before I have a letter from my mom dated almost three years ago where my sister threatened to have my mom involuntarily committed. I never in a million years thought she would actually do this and I just want to protect her. I don't even have the power to move her out of her home and in with me, my mom also doesn't want to leave her home. I cant stay with my mom because my sister had her name put on the deed. As always I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my concerns and can offer any assistance. Each reply gives me a glimmer of hope..