i want my child back

#1 10-11-2003, 01:48 PM

W hat is the name of your state? idaho
i gave my parents guardianship of my daughter when she was 9 months old i was 17 and had a drug addiction my parents said i could have her back when i was able to take care of her i have been sober for 5 years and have a family of my own now i have proved to my parents i can take care of kayleigh but they are fighting me on this they are unstable now my dad has an ongoing pain pill addiction but i am scard because it has been 11 years since she has been i my care. i am scared the courts will not give her back to me .does california law favor the mother over the grandparents if i prove i can take of her ?

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE · #2 10-11-2003, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kayleighsmom
W hat is the name of your state? idaho
i gave my parents guardianship of my daughter when she was 9 months old i was 17 and had a drug addiction my parents said i could have her back when i was able to take care of her i have been sober for 5 years and have a family of my own now i have proved to my parents i can take care of kayleigh but they are fighting me on this they are unstable now my dad has an ongoing pain pill addiction but i am scard because it has been 11 years since she has been i my care. i am scared the courts will not give her back to me .does california law favor the mother over the grandparents if i prove i can take of her ?

My response:

After being with them for so many years, there is no way in hell that KayLeigh is going back to you. The court will look at the fact that KayLeigh sees your parents as her parents, and it's in her psychological best interests that she stay with them.

On the issue of "detriment," the Legislature has expressly recognized the importance of a stable custodial environment: As used in Ca Fam § 3041, "detriment to the child" includes the harm of removing the child from a stable placement with a person who has assumed the role of parent on a day-to-day basis, fulfilling both the child's physical needs and his or her psychological needs for care and affection, and who has assumed that role for a substantial period of time. [Ca Fam § 3041(c) (added eff. 1/1/03)] A finding by a preponderance of the evidence that the nonparent to whom custody may be given is a person described in § 3041(c) (a nonparent who provided child a stable home on a day-to-day basis for a substantial period of time, fulfilling child's physical and psychological needs--in effect, a de facto parent - -"shall constitute a finding" that custody to that person is in the child's best interest and that parental custody would be detrimental to the child "absent a showing by a preponderance of the evidence to the contrary." [Ca Fam § 3041(d) (added eff. 1/1/03)]

This is the price that druggies pay for their stupidity in life - - especially when a child is involved.

IAAL

nextwife · #3 10-11-2003, 03:48 PM

She hasn't been in your care for !! years? How long has this child been with your parents? They are far more "parent" to this child than you are. Genes are only one part of what makes one a parent. The fact that you finally got your act together is nice, but should not be this child's problem. She should not be yanked from the home she knows because you are now finally ready to parent her. If you wanted to be a parent to her, you needed to get yourself together THEN, for your baby, not expect to park her with your folks until YOU are ready, then yank her out as if she has no feelings and attachments.

#4 10-11-2003, 06:36 PM

to you unhappy fosters;
GET A SURROGATE, her husband [email]rtschoneman@aol.com[/email]

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE · #5 10-11-2003, 07:07 PM

[quote]Originally posted by kayleighsmom

to you unhappy fosters;
GET A SURROGATE, her husband [email]rtschoneman@aol.com[/email]

===================================

My response:

What is this supposed to mean in relation to your post and our responses?

IAAL

stealth2 · #6 10-11-2003, 08:11 PM

The courts are unlikely to remove your daughter from the only home she has known. It's great that you've gotten your act together, but it's really doubtful you'd prevail.

#7 10-12-2003, 09:40 AM

when i posted my question here i never thought i would get the response i got i thought this was for support. my daughter has lived there all here life and to take her would be hard but like i said my father has been arrested for dui has seizers due to his pain pill addiction and gets violent with my stepmom so she said now she has left the home and dad has brought in boards so to get money to pay the rent since neather of the two work so kayleigh has to share a room with dad at his house or shares a room with stepmom at her moms house now you tell me is that a good stable home life for an 11 year old i am sorry i wanted a good life for my child thats why i let my parents take her and i would be fine to leave there if the home life was stable and i will fight for my child to show her i want whats best and she will know that i did try she is not mad at me for fighting for her if she didnt want to be with me then she would say "mom i dont want to live with you" i feel my parents need to grow up and do whats need to get there life back together if they really were looking at the best interest of the child

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE · #8 10-12-2003, 10:01 AM

[quote]Originally posted by kayleighsmom

when i posted my question here i never thought i would get the response i got i thought this was for support.

MY RESPONSE: Where did you get THAT idea? This isn't a "Dear Abby" site. This is a "legal" site. When I responded to you, I responded with the law. I have been practicing Family law for over 23 years. You can't get much better than that.

my daughter has lived there all here life and to take her would be hard but like i said my father has been arrested for dui

MY RESPONSE: I think you need to re-read what you have written to us. You NEVER mentioned your father's arrest until now. All you have ever said was that he was addicted to pain pills.

has seizers due to his pain pill addiction and gets violent with my stepmom

MY RESPONSE: You never mentioned this either.

so she said now she has left the home and dad has brought in boards so to get money to pay the rent since neather of the two work so kayleigh has to share a room with dad at his house or shares a room with stepmom at her moms house now you tell me is that a good stable home life for an 11 year old

MY RESPONSE: This is so poorly written that I have no idea what you're saying. Is Kayleigh with your parents, or is she with her Dad? I don't know what you're saying with, "dad has brought in boards" - - what are "boards"?

i am sorry i wanted a good life for my child thats why i let my parents take her and i would be fine to leave there if the home life was stable and i will fight for my child to show her i want whats best and she will know that i did try she is not mad at me for fighting for her if she didnt want to be with me then she would say "mom i dont want to live with you" i feel my parents need to grow up and do whats need to get there life back together if they really were looking at the best interest of the child

MY RESPONSE: The problem is that Kayleigh hasn't lived with you for so long that the court is unlikely to ever give you custody. Her life has been "made" someplace else, and courts do not uproot children if at all possible. This is especially so considering your drug abuse. You can fight all you want, but it's not going to happen for you. The best you'll get is some form of visitation - - most likely, "monitored visitation" because you don't sound like you're off the drugs yourself! Just from the way you're writing indicates to me that you're still "high as a kite" because your mind appears to be drifting, AND despite the fact that you have it here in writing, you are believing that you have written certain things that you have never written about before.

Good luck.

IAAL

stealth2 · #9 10-12-2003, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kayleighsmom
when i posted my question here i never thought i would get the response i got i thought this was for support. my daughter has lived there all here life and to take her would be hard but like i said my father has been arrested for dui has seizers due to his pain pill addiction and gets violent with my stepmom so she said now she has left the home and dad has brought in boards so to get money to pay the rent since neather of the two work so kayleigh has to share a room with dad at his house or shares a room with stepmom at her moms house now you tell me is that a good stable home life for an 11 year old i am sorry i wanted a good life for my child thats why i let my parents take her and i would be fine to leave there if the home life was stable and i will fight for my child to show her i want whats best and she will know that i did try she is not mad at me for fighting for her if she didnt want to be with me then she would say "mom i dont want to live with you" i feel my parents need to grow up and do whats need to get there life back together if they really were looking at the best interest of the child

Did you think we were mindreaders?

nextwife · #10 10-12-2003, 11:25 AM

Silly us. Why would anyone posting responses need all the important facts? We should have known to automatically presume that any parent who has a dependence on pain pills drives while drunk.

Dependence on pain pills, per se, is not a reason alone for a change in custody (otherwise Rush Limbaugh might lose his kids, if he has any at home). Nor is being subject to seizures. My dad was seizure prone after his brain tumor surgery, but was still a wonderful and competant father.

#11 10-12-2003, 01:16 PM

o but using drugs is bad and i should not have my child but if i was on codine thats ok and isnt rush going into treatment o but pain pills are no big deal and to any other lawyer that replies i bet you would have no prolem taking my money to take my case i will fight in court i have nothing to lose i have a good relationship with my daughter so for now i will not listen to you and i will let you know how the case turns out hey maybe you are right but maybe you are wrong

stealth2 · #12 10-12-2003, 01:35 PM

Let's see.... all you really told us is that for 6 of the 11 years your parents had the child, you were addicted to drugs. And that your father has a dependency on pain pills.

So from all this we are to intuit that you were only addicted to codeine, your parents have split (and that this is not actually your mother, but your stepmom), and Dad has violence issues.

HOW THE FRIKKIN' HELL DID YOU EXPECT US TO KNOW ANY OF THAT?

HomeGuru · #13 10-12-2003, 01:54 PM

What ever happened to the Permanent Plan for the child?

stealth2 · #14 10-12-2003, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kayleighsmom
i have nothing to lose i have a good relationship with my daughter

Whoa - I missed this little tidbit. That's ALL you have to lose? That's quite a bit, IMO.

#15 10-12-2003, 02:23 PM

the plan was my parents my dad and stepmother came to me and said let us have kayleigh until you get back on your feet and when that happens you will have your child back i have proved to them that i am very able to take care of her

i want my child back

Re: i want my child back