INTERPRETATION

[TIREDAD]

I AM DIVORCED IN THE STATE OF FLORIDA. MY EX-WIFE AND I HAVE 1 5YR OLD SON. WHEN WE SPLIT UP I MOVED TO CALIFORNIA. SHE LATER FILED FOR DIVORCE. DUE TO TRAVEL DELAYS I WAS NOT PRESENT DURING THE DIVORCE HEARING. SO SHE MADE FALSE CLAIMS AND A FINAL JUDGEMENT WAS ORDERED BASED ON HER TESTIMONY. SHARED PARENTAL RESPONSIBILTY WAS AWARDED GIVING HER PRIMARY AND MYSELF SECONDARY RESIDENTIAL RESPONSIBILITY. AS WELL VISITATION WAS AWARDED TO ME ON A COURT ORDERED SCHEDULE. SHORTLY AFTER THE FINAL HEARING SHE RELOCATED TO A DIFFERENT COUNTY IN THE SAME STATE AND REMARRIED A MAN IN THE AIR FORCE WHO HAD BEEN GIVEN ORDERS TRANSFERRING HIM TO JAPAN.IN THE MIDST OF ALL OF THIS SHE HAD REFUSED ME MY SCHEDULED COURT ORDERED VISITATION THAT I HAD PAID TRAVELING EXPENSES FOR WELL IN ADVANCE. I HIRED AN ATTORNEY AND FILED SEVERAL MOTIONS TO ENFORCE VISITATION, PREVENT HER FROM RELOCATING MY SON OUT OF THE COUNTRY, AND CONTEMPT FOR MODIFYING A COURT ORDERBY FRUSTRATING MY VISITATION. FINALLY AFTER 6 OR 7 TRIPS BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN FL. & CA. THE HEARING FINALLY TAKES PLACE. THE COURT ALLOWS HER TO RELOCATE, MODIFIES CHILD SUPPORT TO THE TRUE GUIDELINES BASED ON INCOME ORDER HER TO TURN OVER MY SON TO GO TO CALIFORNIA AND STAY WITH ME TILL THEY LEAVE FOR JAPAN (A FEW SHORT WEEKS) A NEW VISITATION SCHEDULE IS ORDERED AND SO ON.

WHAT I AM GETTING AT IS THAT SHE WAS FOUND IN WILLFUL CONTEMPT OF THE FINAL JUDGEMENT, AND THE FOLLLOWING MODIFICATION WER ORDERED AND ADJUDGED BY THE COURT. (I AM TYPING THIS WORD FOR WORD BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE A THIRD PARTY INTERPRETATION TO COMPARE WITH MY INTERPRETATION IT IS NOW NEARING THE END OF HER HUSBANDS ORDERS TO RESIDE IN JAPAN AND THEY WILL BE ESTABLISHING RESIDENCE IN GA.) HERE WE GO.

1. SUBSEQUENT VISITATION BETWEEN THE MINOR CHILD AND THE FORMER HUSBAND SHALL BE AS FOLLOWS.

A.1998 i.THE VISITATION SET FORTH IN PARAGRAPH 5 ABOVE (THE VISIT IN CA. UP TO DEPARTURE TO JAPAN)
ii. THE FIRST WEEK OF NOV. THROUGH THE LAST WEEK OF DEC.

B. 1999 i. TWO WEEKS IN APRIL.
ii. SIX WEEKS IN THE SUMMER TO INCLUDE THE ENTIRE MONTH OF JULY AND THE FIRST TWO WEEKS IN AUGUST.
iii. THE LAST TWO WEEKS OF NOVEMBER, TO INCLUDE THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY.

C. 2000 i. TWO WEEKS IN APRIL, INCLUDING THE EASTER HOLIDAY.
ii. SIX WEEKS IN THE SUMMER, TO INCLUDE THE ENTIRE MONTH OF JULY AND THE FIRST TWO WEEKS IN AUGUST.
iii. THE LAST TWO WEEKS OF DECEMBER.

D. THE FORMER WIFE SHALL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE COST OF ALL TRANSPORTATION FOR THE MINOR CHILDS VISITATION WITH HER FORMER HUSBAND.

E. WHEN THE MINOR CHILD RETURNS TO RESIDING IN THE CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES THE PARTIES SHALL RENEGOTIATE THE VISITATION SCHEDULE. IN THE EVENT THE PARTIES CANNOT REACH AN AGREEMENT PRIOR TO THE END OF THE FORMER WIFES CURRENT HUSBANDS OVERSEAS ASSIGNMENT, THEN THE FORMER HUSBAND SHALL CONTINUE TO HAVE VISITATION AS SET FORTH IN THIS ORDER, TWO WEEKS IN APRIL, SIX WEEKS IN THE SUMMER AND ALTERNATING TWO WEEKS AT CHRISTMAS WITH TWO WEEKS AT THANKSGIVING. THIS SCHEDULE SHALL CONTINUE PAST THE YEAR 2000 TILL YHE PARTIES REACH AN AGREEMENT ON ALTERNATIVE VISITATION, OR UPON FURTHER ORDER OF THIS COURT.

OVER THE PERIOD OF THIS SCHEDULE DUE TO THE HIGH COST OF TRAVEL BETWEEN JAPAN AND THE U.S. AS WELL AS MY SON'S SCHOOL SCHEDULE I AGREED TO EXTEND SUMMER VISITS AND ELIMINATE EASTER VISITS WHILE THEY WERE IN JAPAN. SINCE SHE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR TRAVEL EXPENSES IT ALWAYS TURNED OUT THAT RATHER THAN EXTENDED VISITS IN THE SUMMER THEY WERE CUT FROM 5 TO 10 DAYS SHORT AND 10 DAYS WAS THE LONGEST STAY DURING THE WINTER HOLIDAY SCHEDULED VISITS. SHE INFORMED ME THAT DUE TO THE MOVING EXPENSES THAT THEY ARE SUPPOSEDLY INCURRING TO RELOCATE TO GA. (I AM WELL AWARE THAT THE AIR FORCE PAYS FOR THESE EXPENSES) THAT I WOULD HAVE TO COME VISIT WITH HIM IN GA. THIS SUMMER IN ORDER TO SEE HIM IF I COULD NOT AFFORD TO BUY 3 R.T. AIRLINE TICKETS SO THAT I COULD FLY TO GA. AND PICK HIM UP.(1 TICKET) HIS TICKET (2 TICKETS) AND ALSO FLY BACK WITH HIM TO DROP HIM OFF AFTER HIS VISITATION. SHE HAS MADE IT CLEAR THAT VISITATION CAN AND WILL NOT AFFECT HIS SCHOOL SCHEDULE. AND I AM NOW RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF HIS TRAVEL EXPENSES. I HAVE AGREED TO PURCHASE THE PLANE TICKETS FOR HIS VISITATION BUT THAT HE IS NOW AT AN AGE HE CAN BE SET UP TO FLY ALONE TO REDUCE TRAVEL EXPENSES. IN ORDER TO ELIMINATE MORE LOST VISITATION TIME WITH MY SON I WENT AHEAD AND BOUGHT 3 R.T. TICKETS AND AM GOING TO FLY TO GET HIM THIS TRIP AS WELL AS RETURN HOME WITH HIM THIS TIME BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE MOVING AND CONFUSION TO HOPEFULLY MAKE IT EASIER FOR HIM TO ADJUST. IN EXCHANGE FOR AGREEING TO BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR MY SON'S TRAVEL EXPENSES I ASKED THAT I BE RELEIVED OF CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS FOR THE SIX WEEKS HE SPENDS WITH ME IN THE SUMMER ONLY SINCE I WOULD BE SUPPORTING HIM ANYWAY. SHE IS EXTREMELY UNREASONABLE IN MY OPINION. THE WAY I UNDERSTAND THE AGREEMENT BASED ON HER ACTIONS PREVIOUSLY I THINK I AM BEING A REAL STAND UP GUY. FOR THE SAKE OF MY SON. I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE ANY FEEDBACK. AND AS I SAID BEFORE, A THIRD PARTY OPINION OF THESE FINAL JUDGEMENT MODIFICATIONS. I REALLY WOULD HATE TO END UP BACK IN THE COURTS WITH THESE ISSUES. THE MONEY WE HAVE ALREADY GONE THROUGH COULD HAVE BEEN PUT TOWARDS A QUALITY EDUCATION WHICH HE DESERVES. ANY SUGGESTIONS THAT MAY HELP ME TO REACH AN AGREEMENT BETWEEN THE TWO OF US ARE ALSO WELCOME.
THANK YOU.

TiredAD

 

[SLIPPERYSOAP]

you have a mess on your hands don't you. I really feel for you. I understand unresonable X's. You might try writing her a letter stating what you would like, and what the court order states, just as a reminder. If they are suffering from hard times they won't want to go back to court either. They will be looking to save money too. See if you can come to an agreement where you split the traveling costs, and your son rides the plane alone. If that doesn't work I don't see where you will be able to do it without going back to court. I am not sure about FL rules, but in CA you don't need to hire an atty. Maybe you can file for change in circumstances on your own. I hope things start working out for you, and your son.

 

[TIREDAD]

Follow up

Thank you for your suggestions. My last contact to her was via E-Mail at which time I notified her of the flight itinerary for the plane tickets that I purchased. At the same time I volunteered to take over full responsibility of his travel expenses but that at the same time I want to be sure all of the scheduled visitations will be exercised following the court order. In exchange for releiving her of travel costs I requested to be releived of 1and a half months of child support for the six week period that he is with me during the summer so that we will be able to make the most of our visits without a financial strain besides I will be responsible for 100% of his expenses during this time anyway.

As strange as this may sound she had forwarded my E-Mail to her husband at work so that he could look it over. I am not positive but what I beleive happened was he read it and being preoccupied with work and his opinions and thoughts running through his head he somehow ended up using reply in his E-Mail program rather than sending a new mail message to reply to my E-Mail that she had forwarded to him so I am the one who ended up with the Stepfathers personal opinions and mooshy stuff meant for her but anyway to know how a guy who forced his own two kids from a previous marriage to have to live with there mother who has been found unfit for parenting and that he spent so much time and energy to convince the courts to give him full custody because my ex-wife who is currently 26 vs. him being 51 told him that either they go or I go. This is some kind of Man let me tell you, and I'm not even going to go into this accidental E-Mail of his to her that I obviously was not supposed to read. I simply copied it and pasted it in a new message and sent it on to her as misdirected mail. I am very curious as to what will happen next time I call to speak with my son. Or what effect this will have on her response to my earlier mentioned E-Mail to her.

Does anybody know the process or steps I may be able to take to possibly have the jurisdiction transfered here to California even though she was the petitioner for the divorce but also no longer resides in the jurisdiction that the judgement is retained in? Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

 

[Nina Hopkins]

Tiredad

I had a full response typed up and I deleted it!
Still the gist was I have sympathy for your situation
but my biggest concern is for your 15yr old son---
moving here and there--at that age--can you and your
ex-wife go to a counselor (mediator) to hash things out
not anywhere near your son--to begin with at least.
This may be difficult, sure--but that money you could have used for his future education--won't have been any good
to that boy of yours if he is an emotional wreck, being
torn between two people. Obviously, no one on this list
can know the full circumstances but I am sure you have
your son's best interests in your heart, first and foremost.
Hopefully, his mother does, also. In being able to place him first maybe you both can get together sooner than later
to put things right for your son---best wishes to you all!

 

[Grandma B]

I think you're a stand-up guy too!

You were under no obligation to pay travel expenses for visitation, but I admire you for offering to do so. Actually, I wouldn't have done more than offer to split the costs.

Support payments during extended visitations is an item that should have been addressed in the original agreement. Sometimes they're suspended, and sometimes they're ordered cut by half (the CP still has to keep the home running). In your case, since you offered to assume travel expenses, they should be suspended for that 6-week period.

Your son is 15? I also admire you for paying for 3 RT tickets for the initial trip on their return, but he's certainly old enough to travel on his own from now on.

Sounds like you've bent over backwards to get along with your ex for your son's sake, but I wouldn't suggest bending any further. A mediator is probably the answer.

I doubt you can transfer the case to CA. It should be filed in the jurisdiction where the child resides.

Best of luck, keep up the good work for your son (I hope he appreciates you!), and don't let her put anything over on you!