Its Been Ten Years...

[speedcam]

from wisconsin,

i am not sure if this is the correct place for this so i hope you will bear with me.
last night i got home from work to find a letter on the table from a girl i have not seen in about ten years. in the letter she sent me a picture of her daughter and asked me to see if i see any resemblances. because i might be the father. it's been years!!! i never even knew she was pregnant, much less even remember touching her. she lived with me and another guy for about 3 weeks back in '94-'95. so to me the time frame doesn't add up but now that i have been married for about 2 1/2 years and supporting my wife's three stepkids, (my family) does she have the right to come after me for anything when i was not told anything until last night? she even told my wife before telling me so now my wife is on the verge off divorce because she can't handle this. the last thing i want to have happen is to loose the only family i know and that i have worked so hard to get into my life. i don't know what she wants( the other girl) she hasn't said any specifics, but i feel this is just unexceptable to bring this up this long after especially now that i have a new life with people i truely love.

oh and as far as i am aware this girls husband has signed the birth certificate as the father to the child. ( not sure if this has any bearing but thought i would mention it.)

any thoughts? i am crushed by this and will be even more if my wife leaves me with the kids.
dazed to say the least.....

speed

[enjay]

If the child is found to be yours through DNA testing, then you will have an obligation to support her.

If your wife leaves you because you fathered a child 10 years ago, then she doesn't love you and you'll be better off without her.

[speedcam]

thanks for the reply Enjay,

i understand the obligation matter but i am more concerned that she waited for 9 or 10 years and never said anything before this time. to be honest i don't know if the child could be mine or not, i did some checking and the time frame didn't add up but the letter i got doesn't really give specifics. i don't want to sound like an a$$ but she wants me to write her back and i do not know what to say to her with out obliging myself into an issue that may or may not involve me.(to that extreme). should i in good conscience ask what her intentions are for contacting me now?

sorry but i have no kids of my own and never thought i was able to have them due to an injury involving 2500 lbs of steal when i was younger. looking at the picture besides the brown eyes and brown hair i don't see much of a resemblance, but aren't these more dominant colors anyhow. i'm confused and worried at the same time.

[rmet4nzkx]

Yes the mother can wait all this time especially, if the child has a legal father, but if the legal father knows the child is not his, he may be contesting paternity so mom is searching for any possible father. She is hoping that you will give in because of the trouble she caused with your wife. If you receive an official court order to submit a DNA sample, get an atty and respond otherwise you might be found the father by default. You may want to get caller id/# block so she can't call your wife anymore or you will at least know she is calling. Don't communicate with her. If you are the father then you will be ordered to pay child support from the itm eof the petition unless she was on welfare then it could be longer, you would have to file for custody and visitation.

[nextwife]

If any legal action is started, imnmediately demand a DNA test. Get an attorney. . It is very possible this is NOT your biological child.

My guess? She is breaking up with her husband and trying to remove his parentage so she won't have to share custody. Maybe even so that any move-away restrictions in a divorce agreement can be voided.

[Wolflmg]

Originally Posted by speedcam

thanks for the reply Enjay,

i understand the obligation matter but i am more concerned that she waited for 9 or 10 years and never said anything before this time. to be honest i don't know if the child could be mine or not, i did some checking and the time frame didn't add up but the letter i got doesn't really give specifics. i don't want to sound like an a$$ but she wants me to write her back and i do not know what to say to her with out obliging myself into an issue that may or may not involve me.(to that extreme). should i in good conscience ask what her intentions are for contacting me now?

sorry but i have no kids of my own and never thought i was able to have them due to an injury involving 2500 lbs of steal when i was younger. looking at the picture besides the brown eyes and brown hair i don't see much of a resemblance, but aren't these more dominant colors anyhow. i'm confused and worried at the same time.

A DNA test is going to have to be done anyways, if she wants you to pay child support. The court will want a DNA test to be done to determin if the child is yours, if the child isn't then your off the hook.

[trustknow1]

Everybody told me there was a Santa Claus, and it turned out to be a lie. Don't assume what you hear is fact until it is. Stay calm and do some damage control asap...like calm wife down, and put some safeguards in place for this gal's next phase of attack......like, showing up at your door to introduce you to "your" child. Wouldn't hurt to set an hour aside to watch "Fatal Attraction"... or another motivator to urge you to stop freaking out, and take control of a situation where somebody just came out of no-place with a mission to ruin your life. and so far....is successful.