Kind of a post marrital agreement...

[Craftsman]

What is the name of your state?
Washington State.
Weve been married for 5 years. I'm wondering if there is a way for me to make a binding contract with my wife that restricts some activities she can participate in. (yeah...creepy question but I'll explain)
This isn't the first time this has happened...
My wife agrees that we don't go to the club without one another. (She likes hip hop and if you've been in a hip hop club, you'd know thats no place for a married man or woman) So I go camping for the weekend and she goes off to the club with her friends. They stay there 'til 3AM and then head to her friends house with 6 guys from the club. I came home from camping early and she comes home around 8 the next morning.
Well I don't want that to happen again so is there a way for us to get into contract that if she attends the club without me, it will be grounds for divorce with no alamony? (something like that anyway...)

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Originally Posted by Craftsman

What is the name of your state?
Washington State.
Weve been married for 5 years. I'm wondering if there is a way for me to make a binding contract with my wife that restricts some activities she can participate in. (yeah...creepy question but I'll explain)
This isn't the first time this has happened...
My wife agrees that we don't go to the club without one another. (She likes hip hop and if you've been in a hip hop club, you'd know thats no place for a married man or woman) So I go camping for the weekend and she goes off to the club with her friends. They stay there 'til 3AM and then head to her friends house with 6 guys from the club. I came home from camping early and she comes home around 8 the next morning.
Well I don't want that to happen again so is there a way for us to get into contract that if she attends the club without me, it will be grounds for divorce with no alamony? (something like that anyway...)

My response:

Obviously, you're not too familiar with the Federal Constitution; in particular, the "right to assemble" and the "right of free association", and other small things like the "Emancipation Proclamation". She's not a slave.

I think, perhaps, she's too young and likes to get laid by many men while you're away.

Can you say, "Skank"?


IAAL

[Craftsman]

Originally Posted by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

My response:

Obviously, you're not too familiar with the Federal Constitution; in particular, the "right to assemble" and the "right of free association", and other small things like the "Emancipation Proclamation". She's not a slave.

I think, perhaps, she's too young and likes to get laid by many men while you're away.

Can you say, "Skank"?


IAAL

Does that somehow keep me from paying alimony?
I mean without having to hire a detective? ...lol

[cyana24]

ummh...

Washington state is a "no fault" state in which the only grounds for divorce are "irreconciliable differences". Marital misconduct (including adultery) has no effect on alimony (if awarded to either party).

Suppose your wife said that you couldn't go camping while she was "clubbing"? You could be having flings when you are camping and wouldn't that be the same thing as what you suspect she is doing?

Either grow up, or get marital counseling. Preferably both.

[stealth2]

What would be a more appropriate activity for her, in your opinion? Should she perhaps have the Church ladies over for tea? Or maybe she should go over to the soup kitchen and help the unfortunates?

How about you quit going camping and leaving her home alone?

[nextwife]

How about planning a "get-away" that you BOTH can attend and enjoy?

TRust is an important essential in a marriage. If you don't have an inate trust and respect for each other, then no "agreement" really matters. If you can't trust her, your marriage is worth squat.

[Craftsman]

Wow...am I the only one who sees a problem with HER and not ME? I didn't see that comming. Are any of you married?

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by Craftsman

Wow...am I the only one who sees a problem with HER and not ME? I didn't see that comming. Are any of you married?

Almost ten years, and we love AND RESPECT each other MORE now than the day we married.

Yes, there IS a problem with her behavior, but if she doesn't respect you enough to not want to have a bunch of guys over if you happen to be gone, then there is a bigger problem with the marriage. My husband HAS to travel for business (which he hates) , but I use appropriate judgement when he's gone without being told where I can or can't go (and he would never think of "telling me" anyway). AS does he. Additionally, he'd rather spend getaway vacation weekends WITH me than away from me.

Bottom line is that one acts or behaves a certain way IN RESPECT for their spouse and their relationship. THis "post-marital agreement" to keep her from having a bunch of men over is hooey.

Marital agreements are about property allocation, debt allocation and financial responsibilities toward each other. They are not intended to replace good judgement.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Craftsman

Wow...am I the only one who sees a problem with HER and not ME? I didn't see that comming. Are any of you married?

While I understand you being unhappy that she went to the club without you...and stayed out all night partying with her friends, I do feel that you are being a bit of a hypocrite.

Basically you are saying that its ok for you to go off without her and have fun with your friends....but its not ok for her to go off without you and have fun with hers.

If you honestly don't trust your wife...then your marriage has a problem. Marriage counseling might help you considerably.

However, spending your leisure time together would also help.

[stealth2]

Originally Posted by Craftsman

Wow...am I the only one who sees a problem with HER and not ME? I didn't see that comming. Are any of you married?

Actually, I see problems with both of you. She has a very different idea of what marriage is all about. You, however, seem to feel that you get to dictate to her what she can and cannot do. As the others said - marriage counseling might be a good place to start.